Gf has gone too muscley - advice

Hi, my gf started going gym about a year ago and she fell in love with it and I was super happy for her. However, it’s become a bit extreme she’s going 5 days a week and does a lot of weight training and now she has become incredibly muscular both upper and lower, to the point she’s starting to look on the verge of an amateur body builder especially her legs, they’re incredibly large and muscular to the point it’s too much, when she’s doing leg day she even does more weights than me and most average guys - she’s even squatted with me on her shoulders once pretty easily and I’m 65kg.

I haven’t said anything and I love her so don’t want to stop her doing what she loves but she said she wants to push herself further and started showing me pictures of Instagram body builder girls and said she wants to look like them one day.

However I really don’t find that attractive, but I love her and her continuing this won’t put me off her or make me leave her but I can’t help find extremely muscular women unattractive and I want to be attracted to my partner like everyone should have the right to.

I was hoping for some advice, I fear if I tell her I don’t like it she could react badly and be like if you can’t accept me then leave sorta thing but I want her to just hear my views in a subtle way that I don’t find it attractive and think she should slow it down without her feeling like I’m calling her unattractive and too muscular.

Would appreciate advice. Thank you

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Reply 1

Ray_Shadows

i can already hear the feminists marching :/

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Small typo there* I’m 75kg not 65kg.

Reply 3

NonIndigenous

Original post by Ray_Shadows

i can already here the feminists marching :/

TRIGGERED!!!1!!111oenone!!!eleven!!11

Reply 4

username3434964

Original post by Ray_Shadows

i can already here the feminists marching :/

hear*

Reply 5

Marshmello's Dad

To be honest it sounds like you're more intimated by the fact that she is or will become more stronger than you rather than her just looking muscular.

Bit of a pickle

Original post by Bill Nye

hear*

thanks for the correction x

Reply 8

shawn_o1

How much money is she willing to invest in her body I wonder :wink:

Imo she's fallen for the usual advertising bait where some ideal is touted but once achieved it's no longer considered an ideal. Plus she can lift you (OP) without looking like the hulk, just ask any gymnast or yoga practitioner

Reply 9

anosmianAcrimony

She sounds very healthy! I recommend loving her for who she is or wants to be, and keeping an open mind about what you find attractive. Presumably how muscly she is is not the most important part of your relationship anyway?

It sounds like your girlfriend is putting a lot of time and effort into this, so she’s clearly getting something out of it. Be supportive!

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 10

username2752874

Original post by Anonymous

Meh, well if you do end up finding her unattractive in the end, and you can't compromise, then break up with her

Reply 11

NonIndigenous

You could use it as motivation to work out more as well.

Reply 12

HoldThisL

You're entitled to not find her attractive but if this has (clearly) become an enjoyable part of her life I wouldn't tell her unless you have a solution.

It wouldn't be fair of you to say I don't find you attractive but I still love you, expecting her to quit the gym if she likes it.

Reply 13

shellop

Original post by Ray_Shadows

i can already hear the feminists marching :/

Well what would you say if a woman tried to stop her boyfriend from working out, you tool

Reply 14

Ryanthom100

Original post by NonIndigenous

You could use it as motivation to work out more as well.

That doesn't really solve the issue he has tho

Reply 15

cat_mac

I wouldn’t mention it to her, it’ll kill her confidence and just really hurt.

No clue how to handle the situation, if you’re in long term relationships there will always be changes in your partner. Whether it’s weight gain, muscle growth, an annoying passion (like taking up the trombone or bagpipes) it’s just a moment to evaluate if you love them enough to accept them as they are. It sounds like the bodybuilding is something she enjoys and something that gives her confidence, you could break her heart in more ways than one.

Reply 16

mojojojo101

I'm pretty sure this is just an episode of the Simpsons...

Reply 17

Ray_Shadows

Original post by shellop

Well what would you say if a woman tried to stop her boyfriend from working out, you tool

i could hear the menimists marching ?

Reply 18

kojoterrile

Go to the gym and get ripped with her

Reply 19

shellop

Original post by Sataris

Men are supposed to be muscular

'supposed to'? didn't realise it was some sort of law

people can be whatever size they want. no one should live their life to another persons standards. if the girlfriend thinks she will be happier being athletic, they good for her for doing what she needs to do to change herself for the better. if the boyfriend doesn't like it then he can simply walk away and find himself some flabby girl.
but the fact remains if a girl was here saying she didn't like the fact that her boyfriend was becoming too muscly and what can she do to get him to stop working out so much, everyone would tell her to f*ck off.