Wasted my life

I have a bit of a problem (in my head) im 24, never been clubbing or had a partner and have always been the shy quiet type. However ever since I was 14 Ive always wanted to have a partner, go out after school with friends and go clubbing without having responibility, I went through college wanting to go to pubs and clubs but never had any friends to go with. Now im working and still don't have any friends to go with but I feel like Ive wasted my entire youth, being too quiet. I'l never get the chance again to do all that and now people my age seem to be settling down with families and Ive not even started doing the stuff that 14 years olds do, having parties etc. Ive just wasted my life! I don't feel ready to even start driving yet everyone else is!! Anyone else in a similar position? I don't know why im like this.

Reply 1

Undiscovery

Parties, clubbing and getting wasted hardly constitute having a life? Yes, it's a bit of fun, but everyone knows it has a short shelf life anyway?! Don't beat yourself up!

Reply 2

* Catrin *

14

well you seem to have saved yourself a lot of money over the years...im 17 and would hate to calculate how much money i have spent in pubs, clubs and offlicenses!

Reply 3

Phantom Phoenix

13

You haven't wasted your life. :smile:

You've got decades and decades left (based on averages, obviously), so just get out and start doing it now. If you really want to have some young friends and have a few years of fun, why not go and study something you've always been interested in at uni? The Government pays you to do it and you might get a better job, plus you'll meet a lot of people whose sole aim is to get drunk and have fun. Or you could join some clubs and try speed dating, that would probably help. Although I recommend the first option if you dislike your job.

The above said, I personally think going out and getting drunk sucks noodles. It's highly boring, expensive, and damages your liver. Go on an 18-30 singles holiday, get horribly drunk and see if you actually like it or not before deciding you've wasted your life!

Reply 4

lulubelle

24 aint old! Grab a friend and go to the local clubs at the weekend...?!

Reply 5

Dionysus

15

I really wouldn't worry about it. Clubs and bars are overrated and really nobody goes clubbing for long anyway. I'm 19 and definitely 'past it' in terms of the clubbing scene. I've spend thousands of pounds in clubs and whilst some nights were great, most were crap. I'll still probably go clubbing every now and then until I leave Uni, but in 2 years I'll be classed as 'one of those creepy people who's about 40 and hangs around at the back' - slight exaggeration and luckily I look about 17 so I have a few years yet, but you get the picture. After that, it's a once every year or two occasion - Most people in their mid- and late- twenties don't generally bother with clubbing, certainly not past 30. You'd only really go after that for a gig which happens to have a club night afterwards or to one of those classy places in London with £8k bottles of Champagne, where it makes little difference how old you are.

Reply 6

Sagittarius_GBR

2

Everybody is different - what works for some might not work for you. Just because someone else might like to go out drinking or partying, it might not be for you - perhaps you enjoy reading a book more.

You haven't wasted your life, not at all, you've got plenty of opportunity to go out and meet people. There's no law that says you should be settled by 25 or whatever.

If you want to start doing the things you think youve missed out on, there's plenty of pubs, clubs and bars to hit and just start meeting new people. Go with friends if you can. Or perhaps you could join some kind of evening class or society of something you're interested in. It's far easier to strike up conversation with someone who likes the things you do than attempt awkward small-talk with someone in a pub.

I hope you feel better in the days to come. :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

maddi_666

well you seem to have saved yourself a lot of money over the years...im 17 and would hate to calculate how much money i have spent in pubs, clubs and offlicenses!

Ha, I don't have any money! Just a loan to pay off, thanks for the replies though.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I feel in a similar situation. I've never had friends that do that kind of stuff and I've never been invited to a party or clubbing etc. When I turn 18 I'll feel quite depressed that I'll do nothing for my birthday :frown:

Most people usually ddo something they remember like hitting the clubs etc.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Phantom Phoenix

You haven't wasted your life. :smile:

You've got decades and decades left (based on averages, obviously), so just get out and start doing it now. If you really want to have some young friends and have a few years of fun, why not go and study something you've always been interested in at uni? The Government pays you to do it and you might get a better job, plus you'll meet a lot of people whose sole aim is to get drunk and have fun. Or you could join some clubs and try speed dating, that would probably help. Although I recommend the first option if you dislike your job.

The above said, I personally think going out and getting drunk sucks noodles. It's highly boring, expensive, and damages your liver. Go on an 18-30 singles holiday, get horribly drunk and see if you actually like it or not before deciding you've wasted your life!

Your probably right, its not really the getting drunk (tbh as sad as it sounds im scared of this and being sick etc) its just the having fun. If people didn't enjoy it they wouldn't keep going out and Ive heard many people say 'oh I can't wait until friday im wearing such a thing' I suppose from being 14 - 19 I was into jogging and trained on friday nights but I still feel like Ive not reached the 'milestones' that I should have 10 years ago lol, like hanging with friends on street corners, partying, sex etc'

Reply 10

x.Fluffy.x

Why do you feel that parties at 14, followed by clubbing at 18 and then followed by a partner and kids at 24 is the correct pathway through life?

So you're a bit different? And? You are who you are mate.

Reply 11

kiss_me_now9

16

Your liver is thanking you! I don't personally see the point in drinking to excess anymore (I've been drunk twice... the first time I declared my undying love for the guy I had a crush on, the second time I threw up on him... not fun.) I've not been allowed to live either of them down yet. :s-smilie:

Reply 12

Phantom Phoenix

13

Anonymous

Your probably right, its not really the getting drunk (tbh as sad as it sounds im scared of this and being sick etc) its just the having fun. If people didn't enjoy it they wouldn't keep going out and Ive heard many people say 'oh I can't wait until friday im wearing such a thing' I suppose from being 14 - 19 I was into jogging and trained on friday nights but I still feel like Ive not reached the 'milestones' that I should have 10 years ago lol, like hanging with friends on street corners, partying, sex etc'

Okay, well I do understand that (and don't think you're sad at all!). I've had similar thoughts myself as I was a late starter in terms of going out etc, and I always felt like I was missing something. When I did start, it was fun for a while, but it palled very rapidly and there are much better ways to meet people and have a good time than getting drunk and falling over (in fact, in my experience people who value this highly have little to offer in terms of personality). I suggest that you try meeting people through a local sports club of some description, because you'll end up spending a lot of time with them and it's likely that a few of you would go out for a quick drink afterwards. That could be a good starting point for you; how would you feel about trying that? :smile:

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

What has it been? Confidence? Is it your appearance? Do an intensive 3-6 month gym training, get big - should give you confidence to start making friends, go places etc :smile:

.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Phantom Phoenix

Okay, well I do understand that (and don't think you're sad at all!). I've had similar thoughts myself as I was a late starter in terms of going out etc, and I always felt like I was missing something. When I did start, it was fun for a while, but it palled very rapidly and there are much better ways to meet people and have a good time than getting drunk and falling over (in fact, in my experience people who value this highly have little to offer in terms of personality). I suggest that you try meeting people through a local sports club of some description, because you'll end up spending a lot of time with them and it's likely that a few of you would go out for a quick drink afterwards. That could be a good starting point for you; how would you feel about trying that? :smile:

Thanks, Im actually a member of a martial arts club and have aquantinces but no one that would class me as a friend. The root to all this is my personality I do enjoy my own company and am very quiet but at the same time would like people to hang out with but I suppose I can't have it both ways. Recently Ive been making extra effort to speak to people (at the martial arts club) but they don't think much of me and I know this sounds dumb but I can't keep up with the wit lol. Im not really thick but do act it and sometimes take people seriously when they are only being sarcastic so end up looking like a fool.

Reply 15

ArchiBoi

12

Could I maybe suggest you buy definately maybe by Oasis. Go down the offllicence now, buy 100 marlboro's and a bottle of Famous Grouse... Play Cigerettes and Alchohol and Rock and Roll Star... sorted. Go out tomora.. .let's av it!

Reply 16

JT87

Clubs and all that are overrated. You'll find out like most people that clubbing is the biggest waste of time ever. I've spent many a time in them and then realised that i'm not being true to myself and it's not who I am. Most people in clubs dress the same as each other and have the same haircuts and try to do what everyone else is doing because they think "it's cool".

Also i'm not being harsh or nothing but if you're not the type who has loads of friends and aren't confident, that will make your life a whole lot worse.
You may feel rejected and out of place and you may even try to shape yourself like others. It's just a scene and no one is going to make you feel more accepted because you go to them and you won't find any long term solutions in there.

The way I see it is, you're looking over the other side and seeing what other people do, and it looks like fun, but once you get there, you may even start to hate yourself, so i'd stay on the side which is true to yourself which is the one you're on now.

You have to look at what you have. An honest life free from social corruption. Not many people can say that!

Reply 17

Anonymous #4

I'm 21, started uni this year and feel exactly the same as this :frown:

I've been cripplingly shy since I was about 14, spent so much time over the years just browsing the net, forums etc...dropped out of college twice cos of the anxiety, never had friends to go out with, I just feel like I've wasted my youth totally...

I have done some things like travelling which I'm proud of. But without close relationships it all seems pointless :frown:

I hate my life and after so long I dunno how to change. I don't know anyone at my uni after a whole semester :rolleyes:

Wasted my life

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