Is it unusual to feel embarassed/awkward about saying you go to Oxbridge? Watch

DanielSmith1999
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This is a bit of an odd thread, but am I the only one that feels a tad awkward or reluctant to say that they study at Oxbridge?

I’ll be studying at Ox from Oct and in my work people often ask where I’ll be going for university. Of course I tell them where, but otherwise I avoid the “Oxford” word as such to avoid people thinking I’m boastful.

Is it just me?
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username3444162
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Be proud of where you go.

You've earnt it.

All that studying paid off, so the next time you get asked where you go, you say I go to Oxford University.

Whether or not they judge you is not your problem.

I can see you are a very humble individual, so your personality alone will show your good side.

Good luck with your studies!
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cat_mac
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Gotta say I would probably assume you were up yourself if you just brought it up in conversation, but if someones asked you directly then you should be able to answer freely. Just expect a bit of banter about it, people might poke fun.
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TimmonaPortella
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(Original post by DanielSmith1999)
This is a bit of an odd thread, but am I the only one that feels a tad awkward or reluctant to say that they study at Oxbridge?

I’ll be studying at Ox from Oct and in my work people often ask where I’ll be going for university. Of course I tell them where, but otherwise I avoid the “Oxford” word as such to avoid people thinking I’m boastful.

Is it just me?
It's not just you. It's an appropriate reaction. You don't want to be the sort of person who shouts about their achievements when given half a chance.

Personally I never specify where I studied unless asked directly. But, at that point, there's no need to be sheepish.

Post above is along the right lines, although I can't say I've ever experienced people 'poking fun' at the fact that I had a good education :dontknow:
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Sataris
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I don't go to an elite uni but I know exactly what you mean. Hopefully you'll come to terms with it once you start there, and you feel a bit freer to mention about it
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nexttime
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Yeah if people find that out they tend to pigeon-hole you as the 'Oxford person' and there's no shaking it after that. The same goes for my occupation as well, so i tend to respond vaguely, or occasionally even overtly lie depending on the company, to avoid it.
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Bulletzone
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I mean, Would you rather say "I go to Barnsley University?" (no hate)
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RedGiant
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If you feel embarrassed, just lie and say that you go to London Met. Problem solved.
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Hirsty97
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They are probably jealous and are reminded with feelings of regret over their life choices
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auburnstar
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There are really two situations where it's appropriate for others to feel uncomfortable:

- you bring it up randomly in conversation when it's not relevant, particularly in order to show off your achievements
- you bring it up to make others feel bad, inferior or 'stupid' for studying where they did (or for not studying at all/being unable to study)

If you bring it up in conversation when it's appropriate (eg. "What uni did you go to?") then it's fine. You might be surprised to find that not many people actually do ask about it post-graduation when in a regular job (depends on the field though, my coworkers didn't care about where I was studying very much).

This applies to any top uni or great job btw. Even if you worked hard for something, to a certain extent it is a privilege to be able to go to a great uni (you could not have been able to study due to illness, for instance). So being humble is a good thing. Anything can happen to anyone, people can go through very difficult times in a brief moment in a seeming act of cruel chance (and vice-versa), so it's good to stay humble and cherish what you do have.
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auburnstar
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(Original post by Robbie_Returns)
Yes, please stop showing off, we understand you've got an offer from oxbridge, we get it, you're autistic
I know this is (probably) tongue-in-cheek, but the proportion of autistic people who do go to top universities is a tiny proportion of the larger autistic population. Most autistic people have a diverse range of abilities and a decent majority face setbacks that make higher education difficult, particularly if compounded by physical disability/ies.

Some people who are autistic go nonverbal or have trouble with communication. It is more common to be worse at interviews for this reason. Just from recent admissions statistics, the percent of autistic people diagnosed with ASD offered a place is 30% - which is yes higher than average, but that's still a rejection rate of 70%.

Having good communication, intense special interests in the course area, the ability to do well in interviews and tests, the ability to cope with stress and potentially even savant-level knowledge is just one experience. And it's not representative of autistic people more generally.
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Saracen's Fez
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This is an interesting discussion. As a Cambridge student, it can feel a bit like a fine line to tread sometimes. (No irony intended within this sentence.)

I feel like it's something you shouldn't ram down people's throats, but if you are asked the question of where you go to uni, you just have to be honest and proud of where you study. I probably wouldn't personally instigate a 'Where do you go to uni?' conversation with others though because that could be construed as looking for an excuse to slip 'I go to Cambridge' into a conversation. All in all it's possible to not be arrogant about the fact you go to Oxbridge without being embarrassed about it either.
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mimsyborogrove
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Being smart enough to make it to a top university doesn't make a person arrogant - it makes them smart and conscientious. Those are admirable qualities.
Wherever you go in the world, and whatever you do, there are always going to be some tiny minded insecure people who feel threatened by others; threatened by people who are smarter than them, people who are better looking, people who have more money, or whatever their hang-up is, and they become haters. Don't let fear about upsetting those people make you small. You're awesome, just accept it and be proud of your achievement.
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AxSirlotl
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(Original post by DanielSmith1999)
This is a bit of an odd thread, but am I the only one that feels a tad awkward or reluctant to say that they study at Oxbridge?

I’ll be studying at Ox from Oct and in my work people often ask where I’ll be going for university. Of course I tell them where, but otherwise I avoid the “Oxford” word as such to avoid people thinking I’m boastful.

Is it just me?
I don't like to talk about which universities I have offers from or that all of the universities I applied to gave me offers because I feel as though people will perceive me as being snobby. I remember I used to be very modest: I'd never say "I'm going to university", I'd say "I'd like to go to university" for the same reason as said above (I'm just a bit strange I think). I only mention it if someone asks explicitly because then nobody can complain that you're being snobby for answering someone's question.
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username2752874
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(Original post by DanielSmith1999)
This is a bit of an odd thread, but am I the only one that feels a tad awkward or reluctant to say that they study at Oxbridge?

I’ll be studying at Ox from Oct and in my work people often ask where I’ll be going for university. Of course I tell them where, but otherwise I avoid the “Oxford” word as such to avoid people thinking I’m boastful.

Is it just me?
Lol I know what you mean - I got pretty good grades in school and whenever someone asks me about my grades eg on results day I just say I've done well. Then they keep asking and once I say I got 3A*, they start roasting me etc and make sly remarks here and there

Just say you're unsure you'll be going this year

People who are saying to `'be proud and say it`' probably don't realise that results in you being roasted even more haha

It's something that wears off when you get older - people start caring less and less where you go in terms of conversation
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Fullofsurprises
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(Original post by DanielSmith1999)
This is a bit of an odd thread, but am I the only one that feels a tad awkward or reluctant to say that they study at Oxbridge?

I’ll be studying at Ox from Oct and in my work people often ask where I’ll be going for university. Of course I tell them where, but otherwise I avoid the “Oxford” word as such to avoid people thinking I’m boastful.

Is it just me?
It isn't just you, ime it's a fairly common feeling. There is something a bit cringeworthy about bringing it up, but if asked straight, I would always tell people and then, depending on the company, get ready for a range of interesting reactions. :teehee: Some people want to poke fun at it, which I think is generally OK - mocking what is after all a privileged situation is something that often helps people to review it mentally.

For me, the most egregious creepy feelings arose when my parents would harp on about it in company - my dad went to Oxford and my Mum works there - so it made them proud that my sis and I both made it to Oxbridge colleges - but they were prone to embarrass us by overdoing it. :blush:
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UrbanIncentive
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(Original post by RedGiant)
If you feel embarrassed, just lie and say that you go to London Met
LOL
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Parliament
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Yeah I get this too. In my first year I used to duck questions like that by just saying I went to uni down south. It was weird - as soon as the person I was talking to knew I was a Cantab it was like something changed suddenly and they treated me differently... often with something approaching caution, like you'd talk to a former convict or something. I've tried to own it more over the years but there's still something I really dislike about telling people where I study :/
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auburnstar
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(Original post by Kyber Ninja)
It's something that wears off when you get older - people start caring less and less where you go in terms of conversation
Very true. As people get older they realise the really important things above all else. Which isn't to say that prior experiences don't matter or weren't valuable, it's just that we become more receptive to a greater variety of people and experiences.

This is much in the same way that people at school (particularly secondary school pre-sixth form) tend to be prone to cliqueness and bullying, whereas in university people tend to accept diversity to a greater extent, and have the maturity to be more open to ideas (at least speaking generally).

Personally, it's always refreshing for someone to say (about any achievement) "that's cool. So... what else do you do?" It makes for interesting conversations and makes sure that you're not too narrow a focus (dare I say it on a student forum - education isn't everything and sometimes it's good to step back and look at the big picture).
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TimmonaPortella
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(Original post by Kyber Ninja)
It's something that wears off when you get older - people start caring less and less where you go in terms of conversation
To an extent this is true, but the same issue crops up in other areas. It comes up with prestigious careers, for example, as was alluded to above.

As a general rule you should just ensure you're not the one to bring it up.

Its not as much about being 'roasted' as just not being a ****.

It's a sign of self-assurance to be willing to keep your accomplishments to yourself, anyway. Drawing attention to them indicates the opposite. You don't seek approval in that way if you don't feel you need it.
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