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Throwing away exes belongings

Me and my ex broke up a month ago, last week he messaged me asking me when I would be free to collect my things. His message just seemed really weird, something just did not sit right when he sent it. If I had numerous things at his house, like a whole wardrobe of clothes I could understand but all I have is a pair of underwear... one pair!

I know I am probably over thinking this but isn't it a little weird just to meet up to give someone their knickers back? Viewing it from his perspective (as the dumper) I would just have binned them...

So my question is...

Would you save your exes underwear to give back to them or would you just bin it?

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Reply 1
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Anonymous #1
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*Ex's
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my ex broke up a month ago, last week he messaged me asking me when I would be free to collect my things. His message just seemed really weird, something just did not sit right when he sent it. If I had numerous things at his house, like a whole wardrobe of clothes I could understand but all I have is a pair of underwear... one pair!

I know I am probably over thinking this but isn't it a little weird just to meet up to give someone their knickers back? Viewing it from his perspective (as the dumper) I would just have binned them...

So my question is...

Would you save your exes underwear to give back to them or would you just bin it?


Wasnt what I expected.
If you are on e-mail terms, then send him a short one stating you dont believe you left much and could he list what he believes is yours that is there to pick up.


If there isnt anything you want, then just instruct him to bin them.

If theres anything you want, then send a taxi or friend to pick them up an drop them off.

I dont see any good outcome or reason to meet him.
It depends on how much underwear was left, and the circumstances of the break-up. If it was really messy and seeing him would cause a lot of pain, I'd just dump them. He's probably just making up an excuse to see you.
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 4
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Original post by 999tigger
Wasnt what I expected.
If you are on e-mail terms, then send him a short one stating you dont believe you left much and could he list what he believes is yours that is there to pick up.


If there isnt anything you want, then just instruct him to bin them.

If theres anything you want, then send a taxi or friend to pick them up an drop them off.

I dont see any good outcome or reason to meet him.


I kinda want to get back together though so it makes sense to see him but I just find his reasoning for wanting to see me weird
I would personally throw them away, its just underwear that can be replaced and I don't think that's a reason for you to see your ex again. Especially under those circumstances.
Original post by Anonymous
I kinda want to get back together though so it makes sense to see him but I just find his reasoning for wanting to see me weird


See him then.

To answer your question, then if all that was at stake i would ask what you wanted done with them or simpler just mail them. There is no reason for a meeting.
Reply 7
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Original post by TripleCoyote
It depends on how much underwear was left, and the circumstances of the break-up. If it was really messy and seeing him would cause a lot of pain, I'd just dump them. He's probably just making up an excuse to see you.


It was one pair, not the cheapest but still. I have a pair of his socks but not like I am chasing him up to collect them. It wasn't messy but I would not sati was well thought out on his part, one day he couldn't wait to see me, the next asked me to stay over and then a day later was breaking up with me (less than 24 hours after asking me to stay). I thought he was making up an excuse to speak to me and then to see me but then I started doubting myself... hence why I asked on here!
Original post by Anonymous
It was one pair, not the cheapest but still. I have a pair of his socks but not like I am chasing him up to collect them. It wasn't messy but I would not sati was well thought out on his part, one day he couldn't wait to see me, the next asked me to stay over and then a day later was breaking up with me (less than 24 hours after asking me to stay). I thought he was making up an excuse to speak to me and then to see me but then I started doubting myself... hence why I asked on here!


I don't really think the guy knows what he wants tbh. But if you maybe wanna get back with him, go see what his deal is and make up your mind from the visit.
Reply 9
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Original post by Loluwa-Temi
I don't really think the guy knows what he wants tbh. But if you maybe wanna get back with him, go see what his deal is and make up your mind from the visit.


I completely agree with you, he definitely doesn't. When we were breaking up he said he didn't want to but it was necessary. We broke up because of timing, we got together during a very stressful time of our lives (final year of university) and to top it all off we had a 4 hour round trip whenever we wanted to see each other and it got too much really. I have now since moved back to our home city (not that he knows this) and plan on spending at least the next year here. I am so sure that I want to be back with him, our relationship had no issues but I obviously have no idea if he feels the same way. I guess I am just scared of going and him being like ''I don't like you anymore'' which I know is a possibility.
Original post by Anonymous
I completely agree with you, he definitely doesn't. When we were breaking up he said he didn't want to but it was necessary. We broke up because of timing, we got together during a very stressful time of our lives (final year of university) and to top it all off we had a 4 hour round trip whenever we wanted to see each other and it got too much really. I have now since moved back to our home city (not that he knows this) and plan on spending at least the next year here. I am so sure that I want to be back with him, our relationship had no issues but I obviously have no idea if he feels the same way. I guess I am just scared of going and him being like ''I don't like you anymore'' which I know is a possibility.


If you feel comfortable, I think you should tell him how you feel because if there were no issues and the timing seems right now. And if he said it was necessary to break up because of inconveniences, I think he probs wants to talk too, so go for it because it sounds like you still like each other. Good luck friend:smile::smile:and I really do hope it works out!!:biggrin::h:
Original post by Loluwa-Temi
If you feel comfortable, I think you should tell him how you feel because if there were no issues and the timing seems right now. And if he said it was necessary to break up because of inconveniences, I think he probs wants to talk too, so go for it because it sounds like you still like each other. Good luck friend:smile::smile:and I really do hope it works out!!:biggrin::h:


Timing isn't any better right now as we both still have a lot of work to complete but it's just less of a distance between us. Thank you so much, I'll update the thread when we eventually meet (we have yet to set a date!)
Original post by Anonymous
Timing isn't any better right now as we both still have a lot of work to complete but it's just less of a distance between us. Thank you so much, I'll update the thread when we eventually meet (we have yet to set a date!)


Yeh, that would be great and no problem for the advice. Maybe if you both still like each other, you could make it work despite the work load. Just about balancing, but yeh can't wait to find out what happens next...:biggrin:
Update: last night we were both out drinking in our home city. He snapped me first which was a photo of one of his female friends (I believe it was a female friend anyway) I snapped him back but I was a little angry drunk and said that it wasn’t streak time yet. Anyway he opens it and doesn’t reply, I then snap him again at streak time and once again he opens it but doesn’t reply.

I’m pretty confused about the snap he sent me, I can’t work out if it’s innocent or if he’s trying to make me jealous 🙄
I mean maybe he just doesn't want to throw away something of yours because he doesn't want to be on bad terms. And he also doesn't want it sat around his house.
Update: So today he messaged me about telling me about his birthday present I bought him (it had to be booked) and we had a nice little conversation. We are now speaking more regularly but very short conversations, hopefully a step in the right direction!

Original post by Loluwa-Temi
Yeh, that would be great and no problem for the advice. Maybe if you both still like each other, you could make it work despite the work load. Just about balancing, but yeh can't wait to find out what happens next...:biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
Update: So today he messaged me about telling me about his birthday present I bought him (it had to be booked) and we had a nice little conversation. We are now speaking more regularly but very short conversations, hopefully a step in the right direction!


yaaay, that really good. But what kind of vibe do you get from him?? Do you sill think he is interested and does it still feel like it could work because you don't want to force it.
Original post by Loluwa-Temi
yaaay, that really good. But what kind of vibe do you get from him?? Do you sill think he is interested and does it still feel like it could work because you don't want to force it.


We are talking like we used to do, plenty of emojis being used but still only a sentence or two. He’s being quite friendly and jokey with me using winky faces etc and made reference to a video I made at Christmas. He could still be interested but he holds his cards close to his chest so it’ll be difficult to tell at this point. If we were to get back together I don’t believe it would be forced
i don’t have underwear but i have a lot of my exes tshirts at my house lol i just keep them as extra PJ tops or hair dyeing tops (i dye my hair a lot and don’t want to ruin my own tops lol) :smile:
I'm really glad it seems to be working out for you :smile:

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