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I can’t take it anymore

It’s long, so if you don’t want to read it don’t post TLDR!!!

Everything is too much for me.
I have health problems and I just want to get better. Life feels like a prison.
I want AAA for mocks for the unis: Queen Mary, Kings, and Goldsmiths.
We have to write our UCAS statement and I don’t want to. There is nothing in me that “stands” out. I do nothing out of school. I wanted to do English Literature and creative writing, but now thinking about it, I feel as if the pressure will be too much. My teacher said that if we do English Literature we have to read 5-6 books or texts a week, and I don’t think I will like that. I also do art, I have done an online course on history of art, visited a programme for it, got a certificate for photography, even going to do work experience at school for art. Everything is heading in the art direction, but I don’t want to do that. I don’t even have anything for English to do. It’s stressing me out! I don’t have an extra-circular activates, I don’t like going outside, I just isolate myself from everyone! I used to do volunteer for secondary, I was a prefect, I do mentoring, but how does that link to uni? I know what they want for my UCAS statement, trust me I know. But I don’t have any quantities to write about. People my age have a job, doing DofE, their life is just perfect! Mine isn’t! I feel so bloody depressed about my life. I don’t know what I want to do!!! One minute I want to be a lawyer then an actor and then a painter and then a therapist!!! I want to do everything, but nothing. I just hate my life!!!
(edited 5 years ago)

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On top of that being blanked on a group chat and people laughing at me because of my teacher favouriting me. Going to school with two faced people, and friends that hurt me.
Firstly, you're worrying about life, thats normal.
If you think the stress is actually getting to you and affecting your health/ mental wellbeing just calm down for a moment and think about clouds.
They dont have jobs, family or even future prospects.
You can see them, they exist, but they dont harm anyone or act in any certain way.

Pretend you are that cloud.
Sometimes you are thunderstorm but for now, your just a gentle cloud, floating in the sky. Nothing can bother you.

Its nice to have a place where you can feel calm and just let loose.
Being a prefect is a great achievement, even myself with two A*s at a level couldn't become a prefect
Have a gap year..seriously. Don't just pick a uni course.

Go volunteering abroad you will find what it is you want to do, then your Cv/personal statement will stand out.

There are all sorts if things you can volunteer to do abroad.
Nobody has a perfect life. They may seem that they're perfect and have it all but I can almost guarantee you that they have their fair share of problems, you just don't see them. You can get through these feelings :h:
Reply 6
I've felt like you, I think most of us have at one point. I was unremarkable (I still feel like I am), but we choose to see the bad in ourselves and omit the good. You said nothing about you stands out and then you immediately listed five things that are super interesting about you! Your perception of yourself if warped because you taught yourself to think you're not as good as other people, or that everything is going wrong in your life. I'm willing to bet that's really not the case.

Stress at your age is normal. Stress about grades is normal. Stress about the future is normal. Not knowing where you want to go or what you want to do with your life is normal.

If you want to work through your personal statement together, I'm available and I'm sure loads of people on here can give you a hand. You have the qualities, you've just written about them in this post!

As for careers and relevancy of your background, that's all okay too. Careers advisers can help. Perhaps volunteering in those fields of study you've mentioned?

Don't let it all get on top of you.
(edited 5 years ago)
this is a mood
but srsly tho, as a person who's going thru the exact same things, take things 1 at a time and relaxxxxxx
try to do some exercise and manage your time so you feel better about urself and maybe have a clear mindset of what you want to do. Once you have a serious goal, the rest is easy.
Reply 8
take a GAP year u sound really stressed and you just need to take time off and relax - get everything together, you could also do some courses abroad. If u do end up going abroad u could make some new friends who actually appreciate urself for u, not two faced freinds. I wish u luck, hope all goes well :smile:
Original post by TheAlchemistress
It’s long, so if you don’t want to read it don’t post TLDR!!!

Everything is too much for me.
I have health problems and I just want to get better. Life feels like a prison.
I want AAA for mocks for the unis: Queen Mary, Kings, and Goldsmiths.
We have to write our UCAS statement and I don’t want to. There is nothing in me that “stands” out. I do nothing out of school. I wanted to do English Literature and creative writing, but now thinking about it, I feel as if the pressure will be too much. My teacher said that if we do English Literature we have to read 5-6 books or texts a week, and I don’t think I will like that. I also do art, I have done an online course on history of art, visited a programme for it, got a certificate for photography, even going to do work experience at school for art. Everything is heading in the art direction, but I don’t want to do that. I don’t even have anything for English to do. It’s stressing me out! I don’t have an extra-circular activates, I don’t like going outside, I just isolate myself from everyone! I used to do volunteer for secondary, I was a prefect, I do mentoring, but how does that link to uni? I know what they want for my UCAS statement, trust me I know. But I don’t have any quantities to write about. People my age have a job, doing DofE, their life is just perfect! Mine isn’t! I feel so bloody depressed about my life. I don’t know what I want to do!!! One minute I want to be a lawyer then an actor and then a painter and then a therapist!!! I want to do everything, but nothing. I just hate my life!!!


Let me give you the hard truth-m Humans are evil evil evil scum. Don't expect kindness of anyone and you won't be disappointed.
Personally, I agree with melliotime. Taking a gap year can really flesh you out in terms of personal statement, especially since some universities really want to look at the personality factor about you. That's what interviews are partly about, after all. Furthermore, taking a gap year can be extremely therapeutic, believe me. Since you will already have had your grades for A-Level, when you apply for university and they offer you a place, you essentially have an unconditional offer. Remember, if you can't cope now, then how will you cope at uni? It's best that you care for yourself first and foremost- it's better that you resolve your issues now, than have a breakdown in the middle of your first year and decide you don't want to do it anymore. Anyway, you may decide that English isn't for you! If reading doesn't appeal, you might find something else you want to study- something more interesting, or something you see as more beneficial. Beware, however. Work load will likely not be much different. Yes, there will be less work for some other courses, but uni is uni- everything will be intensive.

In the mean while, consider taking something like martial arts or a cardiovascular intensive sport over the gap year to supplement your hobbies. Not only does it teach you discipline and level you out- I was just like you before, then I took one lesson of rigorous taekwondo, and I was levelled for the week- but it will show that you aren just an academic student.

From what I've seen of accounts of English interviews, sometimes they ask you to discuss a theme, so do plenty of further research Read books for pleasure- find something that makes a page turner- and try to go for classics. You like dystopia? Read 1984. Sappy romances? Jane Eyre. Horror? Poe. Go to museums in the mean time, learn about history and art- you take A Level English, so it goes without saying that both are important to the course. Join a book club, go abroad. If you are considering becoming an English teacher, try and volunteer to teach people English courses in refugee centres- it shows you are able to overcome extreme barriers to communicate with others. I did that myself, for the course I want to pursue and it became something I used as a continual referral to communication skills in my CV.

Lastly, if you are *considering* art (I know you said you didn't want to study it, but it can be beneficial to look into), you can apply to study English with a joint degree in some universities. Some offer English and drama, or media. English and art are linked in some ways, so it may be worth looking into doing a joint course if you don't want to study art alone, or want a fall-back if English becomes a bore, or simply to be more qualified.
Original post by Personinsertname
Firstly, you're worrying about life, thats normal.
If you think the stress is actually getting to you and affecting your health/ mental wellbeing just calm down for a moment and think about clouds.
They dont have jobs, family or even future prospects.
You can see them, they exist, but they dont harm anyone or act in any certain way.

Pretend you are that cloud.
Sometimes you are thunderstorm but for now, your just a gentle cloud, floating in the sky. Nothing can bother you.

Its nice to have a place where you can feel calm and just let loose.


Original post by shawn_o1
Being a prefect is a great achievement, even myself with two A*s at a level couldn't become a prefect


Original post by melliottme
Have a gap year..seriously. Don't just pick a uni course.

Go volunteering abroad you will find what it is you want to do, then your Cv/personal statement will stand out.

There are all sorts if things you can volunteer to do abroad.


Original post by DrawTheLine
Nobody has a perfect life. They may seem that they're perfect and have it all but I can almost guarantee you that they have their fair share of problems, you just don't see them. You can get through these feelings :h:


Original post by ryanpro
I've felt like you, I think most of us have at one point. I was unremarkable (I still feel like I am), but we choose to see the bad in ourselves and omit the good. You said nothing about you stands out and then you immediately listed five things that are super interesting about you! Your perception of yourself if warped because you taught yourself to think you're not as good as other people, or that everything is going wrong in your life. I'm willing to bet that's really not the case.

Stress at your age is normal. Stress about grades is normal. Stress about the future is normal. Not knowing where you want to go or what you want to do with your life is normal.

If you want to work through your personal statement together, I'm available and I'm sure loads of people on here can give you a hand. You have the qualities, you've just written about them in this post!

As for careers and relevancy of your background, that's all okay too. Careers advisers can help. Perhaps volunteering in those fields of study you've mentioned?

Don't let it all get on top of you.


Original post by S a i n t
this is a mood
but srsly tho, as a person who's going thru the exact same things, take things 1 at a time and relaxxxxxx
try to do some exercise and manage your time so you feel better about urself and maybe have a clear mindset of what you want to do. Once you have a serious goal, the rest is easy.


Original post by imetlo
take a GAP year u sound really stressed and you just need to take time off and relax - get everything together, you could also do some courses abroad. If u do end up going abroad u could make some new friends who actually appreciate urself for u, not two faced freinds. I wish u luck, hope all goes well :smile:


Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Let me give you the hard truth-m Humans are evil evil evil scum. Don't expect kindness of anyone and you won't be disappointed.


My life is crap though. Live my life and see why it is. I’m fed up of everything, and everyone. Tired. I have a test tomorrow and I have revised half the content, to realise that there is more. I work hard, I’m punctual and confident. But unis won’t see that, if they just read something. I want an AAA I’m not taking my predictions grades for sh*t. I admit I HATE the school I am at, simply because they come to school to enjoy themselves. They socialise they have fun. I work hard and get no sh*t. I am surrounded by people I wish I could socialise with! But I’m just dying from the inside.
Original post by TheAlchemistress
My life is crap though. Live my life and see why it is. I’m fed up of everything, and everyone. Tired. I have a test tomorrow and I have revised half the content, to realise that there is more. I work hard, I’m punctual and confident. But unis won’t see that, if they just read something. I want an AAA I’m not taking my predictions grades for sh*t. I admit I HATE the school I am at, simply because they come to school to enjoy themselves. They socialise they have fun. I work hard and get no sh*t. I am surrounded by people I wish I could socialise with! But I’m just dying from the inside.


Your life is definitely not crap. You're getting an education (even though the people around you are sh*tty) and have the chance to go to university, which is an amazing opportunity. Stay positive - you're putting in so much effort and working so hard, and it will pay off. I know it won't seem like it right now but honestly it will. And when you get to university it'll be such a massive relief and you will be so proud of yourself on results day. You will look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

Push through, one day at a time. I have an exam tomorrow too and have burnt myself out today. It sucks and I am not sure if I'll pass it. We can do this. Chin up chickie, you will soon see the light at the end of the A-Level road.
Original post by DrawTheLine
Your life is definitely not crap. You're getting an education (even though the people around you are sh*tty) and have the chance to go to university, which is an amazing opportunity. Stay positive - you're putting in so much effort and working so hard, and it will pay off. I know it won't seem like it right now but honestly it will. And when you get to university it'll be such a massive relief and you will be so proud of yourself on results day. You will look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

Push through, one day at a time. I have an exam tomorrow too and have burnt myself out today. It sucks and I am not sure if I'll pass it. We can do this. Chin up chickie, you will soon see the light at the end of the A-Level road.


My life is full of sorrows if you have ever read my diary. You would see why. Went from a school of 5 years to a different environment that I couldn’t cope with. I still cant. I don’t think I can do it though. Mocks in a month or so, and the worst bit is the predicted grades get sent to unis.
Original post by TheAlchemistress
My life is full of sorrows if you have ever read my diary. You would see why. Went from a school of 5 years to a different environment that I couldn’t cope with. I still cant. I don’t think I can do it though. Mocks in a month or so, and the worst bit is the predicted grades get sent to unis.


That's why I'm here to tell you that you can do it! I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself. You will smash your mocks and smash your real exams. You absolutely can do it. :yy:
Original post by DrawTheLine
That's why I'm here to tell you that you can do it! I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself. You will smash your mocks and smash your real exams. You absolutely can do it. :yy:


I have a test tomorrow burned my self with revising every minutes to realise I haven’t covered content that was not taught. Mocks grades in February was BCC, wasn’t happy because I put so much effort and work in art that these teachers predict me a B. And my friend with an A, when he got C at GCSE. Spent 16 hours in a week in that department. I feel bad. He is my friend and does extra circular activities and has a GF and knows what he wants to do for uni. And me, is nothing. I don’t like my life, my house, my friends. Lost myself since sixth form. Not motivated with life. I thought it would be easier, growing up, but it’s getting harder.
Original post by TheAlchemistress
I have a test tomorrow burned my self with revising every minutes to realise I haven’t covered content that was not taught. Mocks grades in February was BCC, wasn’t happy because I put so much effort and work in art that these teachers predict me a B. And my friend with an A, when he got C at GCSE. Spent 16 hours in a week in that department. I feel bad. He is my friend and does extra circular activities and has a GF and knows what he wants to do for uni. And me, is nothing. I don’t like my life, my house, my friends. Lost myself since sixth form. Not motivated with life. I thought it would be easier, growing up, but it’s getting harder.


BCC is amazing for grades at that time! You should be really proud of yourself. Just think about what those grades will be next year, you'll be absolutely beaming. As for your test tomorrow, I can understand your frustration and nervousness. I experienced things like that before and it really makes you feel crappy. You'll manage it and you will get past it and focus on the next one. Don't compare yourself to other people because that will make you feel worse. Focus on yourself and your amazing grades that you got in your mocks. Most people would be happy getting those in the real thing, and look at you getting them well in advance! You'll definitely smash it, I am rooting for you.

Growing up unfortunately isn't easier. It sucks a lot. As Monica in Friends said "welcome to the real world, it sucks, you're going to love it". There will be moments where it feels like it never gets better, but it truly does and it will for you too. Keep thinking about the future and all of these changes you're going to make and how incredible you will end up being. You can do it my lovely.
Original post by TheAlchemistress
My life is full of sorrows if you have ever read my diary. You would see why. Went from a school of 5 years to a different environment that I couldn’t cope with. I still cant. I don’t think I can do it though. Mocks in a month or so, and the worst bit is the predicted grades get sent to unis.


Yes my daughter is in upper 6th and changed after 5 years so understand where your coming from. The school she went to took the decision on the first year of the big A Level change to NOT do AS levels and I think to have a year without "official" exams was the best thing, she was nervous about her mocks but if they had been official I think stress would have been much higher. Also the teachers could teach the course in the order they wanted as they were setting the exam.
There are kids sleeping on the street in India wondering where there next meal is going to come. I don't think you can say your life is hard, you have the potential to do anything. The baby born in the UK is one of the luckiest in the world, why blow this chance?
Original post by DrawTheLine
BCC is amazing for grades at that time! You should be really proud of yourself. Just think about what those grades will be next year, you'll be absolutely beaming. As for your test tomorrow, I can understand your frustration and nervousness. I experienced things like that before and it really makes you feel crappy. You'll manage it and you will get past it and focus on the next one. Don't compare yourself to other people because that will make you feel worse. Focus on yourself and your amazing grades that you got in your mocks. Most people would be happy getting those in the real thing, and look at you getting them well in advance! You'll definitely smash it, I am rooting for you.

Growing up unfortunately isn't easier. It sucks a lot. As Monica in Friends said "welcome to the real world, it sucks, you're going to love it". There will be moments where it feels like it never gets better, but it truly does and it will for you too. Keep thinking about the future and all of these changes you're going to make and how incredible you will end up being. You can do it my lovely.


Everyone is just p*ss taking in my life to be honest. At school if I wear makeup people talk to me, otherwise they don’t care. I’m not going to eat you if you don’t talk to me. I’m a human as well, the fact that I am acknowledging this is bad, I don’t know what society I live in that people prefer talking to a make up face rather than bare face. I hate the guys at school, especially one of them. Thinks he is overly friendly but comes across as flirty. Hurt me a lot. These guys think they can come and go whenever they please. If I get good grade I get congratulated at home and if I get crap grades, then the whole lecture comes my way. Which I can’t be asked to hear, don’t have time for that sh*t. People at school are so f*cked!!! I once spoke to this guy and we spoke friendly and now he doesn’t even speak to me, and it’s sad AF. That this guy was so nice and just turned his back around and doesn’t even speak to me!
(edited 5 years ago)

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