If you or your partner have had depression please help!

I have depression and am about to start counselling (first session tomorrow).

I've lost my best friend and the man I love because of my odd behaviour.

At the moment they're both still too angry to speak to me, and apparently they can't forget what I have said/done to them. They also think the depressed me is the real me that has revealed itself, rather than the ill me.

The ex-bf says doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't want a relationship with anyone (although he is playing the field and starting to get very close to another girl :frown:

)

But I love him and miss him and my heart is breaking.

Its been 3 weeks since we broke up and a week since the best friend had enough. Apologising and trying to explain depression has made no difference at all.

Anyone else been in a similar position? Did you ever get them back?

Reply 1

Somewhat Damaged

I've lost ALOT of friends due to my depression and social anxieties.
I can say there is only two people around for me anymore. That's my boyfriend, and my 'best friend' who isn't helpful much either.
I've pushed my boyfriend away for how awful I felt, many many times. But he was patient and understanding.
I've lost one of my boyfriends previously because of this though.

It's not your fault, and at least your attempting to do something about it. :frown:

I just hope they both come to their senses. Trying to help someone with depression is an extremely difficult and frustrating thing to do.

Reply 2

dh00001

unfortunatly if your ex says they dont want you anymore then trying to hang on to them will only make you feel worse
let go and concentrate on yourself. your well being is far more important than relationships

Reply 3

charlie23

being left by someone because you are depressed is a big blow, isn't it. i think it's awful.
i was recently left by a girl who "couldn't handle me" and didn't want to "constantly have to worry about how i feel" which of course is totall rubbish. i didn't want her to 'contsantly worry' just once would have been nice though

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I've been dealing with depression on and off for the past few years and I do think I have ruined quite a few friendships through it.
I generally quite a happy person on the outside, and only a few close friends knew how low I was within.
After taking an overdose I told two of my friends, who told others despite me not wanting anyone to know.
The people they told have been acting weird around me for months since, and won't speak to me about anything despite me wanted someone to chat to.
The friends who told people about what had happened tend not to want to be near me anymore, and im left feeling like I can't trust them.
I know its not because i give off a bad vibe, I'm generally a laugh to be around apart from when I'm very isolated and on my own.

I understand that it must be a pretty heavy thing for them to deal with too, but I just wanted them to be there for me through a particularly rouhg patch in my life.

Reply 5

Bubble Boy

Hey there, similar situation in my life quite recently. My relationship of 3 years ended and I think my depression and the continuing depression of my ex are to blame.

Two years ago my Grandfather and my Grandmother both died within a year of each other and it hit me pretty hard. They were pretty much my parents and gave me the loving home that a kid needed. We were very close and the loss of both of them hit me incredibly hard, I'd never lost anyone close to me so had no real experience of loss. To my ex's credit she was there for me but did not completely understand as she had never lost anyone close to her.

My ex had depression as well, she seemed to take everything very badly and worried about everything. I tried my best to reassure her but nothing seemed to work and frequently would back fire all together with me the focus of her anger and frustration.

Eventually she actually had something real to deal with in the form of her parents separating. This cause a completely unexpected rebellious streak and a general feeling in her that her life was horrible and that she need to completely change it. She proceed to push me away and push away most of the friends she had made during her time at uni. We were all quickly replaced by ppl she worked with.

Of course the news that I had been replaced by a person that is basically a complete personality clone (all the same hobbies, likes, dislikes and general stuff) basically destroyed me.

Months later I"m feeling better about everything and am now just sad that depression was allowed to destroy our relationship. Just have to put your chin up and live with the knowledge that depression seems to override love and kindness and accept that in certain situations no path is the correct one. Help and love yourself and don't let this bring you down, because all this means that you are a good and caring person to have such a loss affect you so deeply. thats my view point anywho, take care.

Reply 6

Titch89

Almost, yes. At the end of 2006, my friend discovered that I was self harming and spoke to me about it. About a month later, he deicded that he could not trust me enough to allow me to take a break from everything. A few weeks later, he refused to talk to me and that was for a week or so. About a month later, he did the same thing - refusing to talk to me for about 6 weeks. he also ignored my emails for about one & a half weeks.

We're fine now and he will actually talk to me (if he can) when I tell him I'm feeling down. Before, he wouldn't talk to me.

Reply 7

PippaLove

If he's not going to understand your illness and be there to help you through it and any other life problems you experience then you deserve better.
Getting over an ex you still love is difficult. I've only ever had to do it once, and it very nearly pushed me to anorexia because I felt so rejected, ugly and inferior. But honest to God, the problem is not with you. I hope you can get over him soon, but I do know that this is easier said than done.

And good luck with the councilling! I used to go for my anxiety, but I have a first session for depression tomorrow too!

Reply 8

hannah_dru

I got my boyfriend back but I never got my best friend back. What you have to remember is, is that it isn't your fault. It might seem like it, but it's them who can't deal with it. They're not being a good friend or partner if they can't stick by you.

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