Should i leave him?

My life was going well, i was well focused on my GCSE. I always used to do my work on time, i was probably the smart one. Then everything changed, i met this guy in my school, he recently broke up with his gf, so he was looking for somebody's support. He looked upset, so I went forward and gave him all of the support he wanted, but then we started talking to each other for few months.Then from that day on i stopped studying i would rather spend my all day texting him, my mom received phone calls from my teachers, and she would be mad at me 24/7. I stopped caring about people around me.
Then one day, i woke up and checked my phone and i had several messages from different people that i didn't even know. They all told me, that he was bad and he will use me and stuff. I receieved a lot of negative comments about him, but i didn't care.I couldn't tell him because i felt guilty and maybe that he would leave me. and now i don't know what to do, Should i stay with him or leave him?
Is he a bad influence on me?
Why does everybody tell me to forget him?

Reply 1

shawn_o1

yeah he's using you. otherwise you would still be focusing on your studies

Reply 2

username3867674

Original post by Ash1001

Ask yourself two questions:

1. A good, serious and loving partner who cares about you helps you and empowers you to become the best possible version of yourself - is that what he's doing for you?

2. In ten years time, which do you think will have had the greatest, most positive impact on your progression beyond the world of education (which feels a long time, but is heading your way real fast!) - success in school/college/university, or this guy?

As Lao Tzu said, nature doesn't rush and yet everything gets accomplished.

Reply 3

Ninja Squirrel

You don't have to leave him just because some random people you don't know said some bad things about him but at the same time you shouldn't neglect your studies and become obsessed with him.

Use your best judgement and do what you think is best for you.

Reply 4

Dr. Savage

So what's the update with the gcse's?

Reply 5

Ash1001

Original post by shawn_o1

yeah he's using you. otherwise you would still be focusing on your studies

Nowdays, i barely do any work, I sometimes feel like, he is seducing me :s-smilie:

Reply 6

Ash1001

Original post by trg01

i would rather have a serious and loving partner :smile:

who cares about me and helps me and empowers to become the best possible version of myself- but he does non of this, i sometimes ask him if he cares about his future or has planned anything, but he tells me not to worry about and even tells me to forget about my GCSE !
He tells me not to study or do the things that i like :frown:

Reply 7

Sataris

This guy shouldn't be your whole life. You don't need to cut him out completely, but try and take back some control

Reply 8

Ash1001

Original post by Sataris

This guy shouldn't be your whole life. You don't need to cut him out completely, but try and take back some control

It's like he is seducing me, :s-smilie:

he tells me do to stuff that i hate doing, i'm super confused but i'm scared of losing him !
i don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 9

Sataris

Original post by Ash1001

he tells me do to stuff that i hate doing

That sounds like a red flag :/ What sort of stuff?

Reply 10

Ash1001

The girls he recenlty been with are telling me not to trust him because he is cheater ! and once i told one of my friend to text him and see what he says, he was acting wierd and started calling her "babe" and i was like WTF, Then i asked him if that was true, he says, he didn't do any of this.

Reply 11

LittleBoss2346

Tell him to shag a ****

Reply 12

Racsoix

Who is the girl in your profile picture?

Reply 13

Ash1001

Original post by Sataris

That sounds like a red flag :/ What sort of stuff?

He tells me to stay away from my friends, then as a punishment, he does not meet me or text me for weeks, then all of sudden he comes back and acts completely different, as if none of it happened. He tells not to see my parents because they say stuff about him. I go to party's with him and he humiliates me front of everyone. He does not let me do things that i like. He says that i don't look nice and need to change myself like other girls do and become like them ! i told him that i can't because that's just not me.
Is this normal?

Reply 14

Leslie Knope

Hi OP,

If you are being distracted from your studies then I think you need to reconsider if you are ready for a relationship right now. What is honestly more important you, getting the grades or a relationship that is clearly affecting you? Don't listen to your mates but at the same time take in heed what they are telling you and if you don't believe them then try speaking to him, talk it out and see what he has to say.

Reply 15

Sataris

Original post by Ash1001

That's reeeally baaaadd! He is being manipulative and abusive. None of that is good, none of it is normal and you should not subject yourself to any more of it. I've changed my mind, you do need him out of your life