The Student Room Group

Made a terrible mistake!!! How should I redeem mysel??

Me and my boyfriend went clubbing together for the first time yesterday! It was the first time I met his best friend and his girlfriend too. As soon as he went to club his friend ( who tbh thinks he’s really hard” and cool” type of person) offered my boyfriend a cigarette. He said yes” and I just probably over reacted but I went crazy. Personally, I have a big issue with people who smoke. I just think it’s stupid, and I was more annoyed at the fact that I’ve asked him before if he smokes EVEN on nights out and he said no of course not it’s disgusting anyway he kept on going on about how I’m a boring” person which is so not true I’m actually very fun in the club. So I took a few more shots of vodka an djust started dancing. Not WITH boys. Tbh I was just making my own dance moves and yes some boys might’ve been looking at me but my boyfriend took it the wrong way and said he was upset. So I told him I would stop if he promised he wouldn’t smoke again. Well when I went to find him, he was smoking a fag in the smoking area and I smacked him theee times. Yeas I feel so so so so awful I literally want to curl up in a ball. He got really upset and said that he would never dance with other girls but I only danced in that way so he would stop smoking but he didn’t

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Reply 1
Ever tried apologising for slapping him? That's something you could do to start with. Then explain how you are unhappy that he lied about not smoking. While you can't force him to stop, remind him how it makes you feel, he should at least not do it in front of you the next time.

What ever happened to talking things out? I don't understand how trying to dance to attract attention from others is a good way of telling someone to stop smoking... Obviously, violence isn't the way to deal with things. If he did this to you, there would be an outrage.

Don't go clubbing if it causes you to behave this way.
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 2
You sound immature. Maybe he didn’t want to tell you he smoked because you would go psycho and passive aggressively dance and hit him? Smh this whole situation is a mess. I feel bad for your lad.
‘I’m actually very fun in the club’
Then proceeds to try make her boyfriend jealous and smack her boyfriend multiple times for smoking a cigarette
Reply 4
Original post by katherinewoods12
‘I’m actually very fun in the club’
Then proceeds to try make her boyfriend jealous and smack her boyfriend multiple times for smoking a cigarette


It’s very “geordie shore”
You could try apologising to him. Violence is never the answer. The more you scream and hit him, it’s going to just cause him to do more of that thing. You both are in the wrong but you took it a step to far by hitting him. Apologise and tell him you didn’t mean it. But also tell him that you got aggravated because he broke his promise. Explain to him in a calm manner that you don’t like it. And if he stops, great but if he doesn’t and it annoys you to the point that you get physical, then walking away from this relationship will be beneficial for both of you. Hopefully you both find a middle ground and work it out 💛
Smoking is degenerate but how can you slap your lover? I would say leave him and sort yourself out.
Apologise for smacking him and acting like a piece of meat for boys to stare at whilst engaging in stupidly obscene dancing. Tell him how him smoking makes you feel. Work it out.
praying he finds an actual gf

not a psychotic control bot
I don't blame you, he lied to you and he seems, I don't know, a bit controlling (I don't know if that's the right word or not?) because he wasn't happy that you were dancing without him. I would apologize for slapping him but make it clear that either he stops smoking or (you decide this part - leave him? hit him? I don't know).
Original post by Baza2002
I don't blame you, he lied to you and he seems, I don't know, a bit controlling (I don't know if that's the right word or not?) because he wasn't happy that you were dancing without him. I would apologize for slapping him but make it clear that either he stops smoking or (you decide this part - leave him? hit him? I don't know).


I agree with the Baza fellow. The dude did lie about smoking, and smoking is pretty darn grosse so I don't blame you for getting mad about it. Many a person have died to its ashy clutches. Either way, I'd apologise for slapping him. Idk how hard you smacked the dude, but if it actually inflicted pain, then, yeah apologise. Then see about the smoking/talk to him about it.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend went clubbing together for the first time yesterday! It was the first time I met his best friend and his girlfriend too. As soon as he went to club his friend ( who tbh thinks he’s really hard” and cool” type of person) offered my boyfriend a cigarette. He said yes” and I just probably over reacted but I went crazy. Personally, I have a big issue with people who smoke. I just think it’s stupid, and I was more annoyed at the fact that I’ve asked him before if he smokes EVEN on nights out and he said no of course not it’s disgusting anyway he kept on going on about how I’m a boring” person which is so not true I’m actually very fun in the club. So I took a few more shots of vodka an djust started dancing. Not WITH boys. Tbh I was just making my own dance moves and yes some boys might’ve been looking at me but my boyfriend took it the wrong way and said he was upset. So I told him I would stop if he promised he wouldn’t smoke again. Well when I went to find him, he was smoking a fag in the smoking area and I smacked him theee times. Yeas I feel so so so so awful I literally want to curl up in a ball. He got really upset and said that he would never dance with other girls but I only danced in that way so he would stop smoking but he didn’t


nah why did you slap man like that
wow...

apologies and explain you were drunk

it wasn't right what you did but if you are genuinely sorry - grovel. and promise him you won't do it again
Reply 13
Original post by Callicious
I agree with the Baza fellow. The dude did lie about smoking, and smoking is pretty darn grosse so I don't blame you for getting mad about it. Many a person have died to its ashy clutches. Either way, I'd apologise for slapping him. Idk how hard you smacked the dude, but if it actually inflicted pain, then, yeah apologise. Then see about the smoking/talk to him about it.


Isn't that a horrible double standard though? everyone lies. doubt any girl would like being slapped by her boyfriend for lying to him...
If he has any sense he'll walk away
Original post by Allie4
Isn't that a horrible double standard though? everyone lies. doubt any girl would like being slapped by her boyfriend for lying to him...

No girl likes being slapped for lying, no boy likes being slapped for lying. You just said that 'everyone lies'. That is correct - everyone does lie. But, should lying be seen as OK just because 'everyone lies'?
Reply 16
I don’t think you guys are a good fit for each other
Reply 17
grow up holy ****.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend went clubbing together for the first time yesterday! It was the first time I met his best friend and his girlfriend too. As soon as he went to club his friend ( who tbh thinks he’s really hard” and cool” type of person) offered my boyfriend a cigarette. He said yes” and I just probably over reacted but I went crazy. Personally, I have a big issue with people who smoke. I just think it’s stupid, and I was more annoyed at the fact that I’ve asked him before if he smokes EVEN on nights out and he said no of course not it’s disgusting anyway he kept on going on about how I’m a boring” person which is so not true I’m actually very fun in the club. So I took a few more shots of vodka an djust started dancing. Not WITH boys. Tbh I was just making my own dance moves and yes some boys might’ve been looking at me but my boyfriend took it the wrong way and said he was upset. So I told him I would stop if he promised he wouldn’t smoke again. Well when I went to find him, he was smoking a fag in the smoking area and I smacked him theee times. Yeas I feel so so so so awful I literally want to curl up in a ball. He got really upset and said that he would never dance with other girls but I only danced in that way so he would stop smoking but he didn’t


Just because he smokes doesn't give you a right to assault him. You sound very immature.
How old are you?

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