Please give me some advice. Literally begging at this point.

Before this comment, I made a much longer one. But i'm sick of arguing with myself and coming to all these *****y, petty conclusions. Sick of giving myself false hope and being in denial. I am pathetic, and I am broken. I fell in love, 16 months ago. With a cruel and vindictive man. He has a bad reputation, which I did not know about. After 6 months of crippling myself being in love with him, I decided enough was enough- we were not a couple, he was never going to be mine. Grow up and get over it. I told 1 person that I had fallen in love.

7 months later he is dating a new girl. A girl him and his friends do not speak very highly off. In fact, the way he spoke of her put me of completely. Me and him work together and he'd come in and tell his friends she was just a play toy. Cheap and easy. It was just sex. I lost 4 stone in weight and became very sick and ill. I cried every night for those 7 months. My eyes were sore. Really sore, I damaged the skin around my eyes and had to get cream for them. I told my mum it was just eczema.

After another 4 months of his sly comments and his *****y friends sniggering, I find out his new gf is my friend from university. I was broken. The way she had been spoke of and disrespected was vile. I was next level angry. I didn't sleep for weeks. I didn't eat. I didn't go into work. I started to fail at university when my grades had previously been A*. I was a wreck and I knew it. The 1 person I had told I was in love knew them both and I get a random text saying that they had split up. He was behaving terribly, and she had had enough. She felt that something didn't add up and walked away.

6 months after this he moves. Out of the area, and I don't see him ever. So, I go back to work they were good to take me back. My grades are at a massive high. I have great times with my friends. My family are closer than ever. Everything is perfect.

I get sent a picture.

They have been together pretty much since they broke up. They had a break and then he went crawling back and she was single so said yes. Nobody knows- she never talks about him.

I'm not ill, sick or crying. I don't love him- I know what type of man he is. I am angry. Hurt. Embarrassed, but not in love.

He's coming back to work (but in a different department) and i'm leaving work to go to another building, but I will still see him maybe 1 or 2 times a year. I confide in the same friend and she says nobody else knows they're dating. Both him and her put their relationship to single but there are photos of them together, not many, maybe 2 or 3.

I graduate this year and I know she will invite him. It's just my luck. Thy'll find out I know them both. My family will want to talk to everyone Including them.

Im scared? I'm not that girl who falls in love. I am not a romantic. I'm not emotional. Not even close.

This doesn't have to be a bad thing anymore. I don't want him. I'm not massively close with her.

I hate myself. Top to bottom I hate myself. Why?

Please give me something. Advice. Your story of heart break. I'mm begging at this point, I need something.

Reply 1

username3756768

Original post by Anonymous

This is quite deep for a public forum - erm feel free to PM me I feel a bit awkward talking about something like this in public but why do you hate yourself exactly?

Reply 2

fm123456

stop kicking yourself about the past- ur bright and intelligent and just need to move forward.

Reply 3

Dr. Savage

My story

I was sooo excited to see Avengers infinity war
Then I went to the cinema
I saw spiderman disintegrate in front of my very eyes

I was heartbroken, still hurts till this day

Spoiler

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Well this was very deep and my story isnt really heartbreak bc I'm literally 16 but I have a crushh on this guy and I'm 99% certain he has a crush on me (not just bc of my own assumption but his and my friends have also said) but we cant be together because of 'social' status in school so...but I really do like him a lot. Also, he's ****ed 2 girls and kissed another 2 when everyone was convinced we liked each other so. And this is gonna sound weird because I'm literally 16 but I see me spending the rest of my life with him etc.

Reply 5

Drewski

You contradict yourself a lot. You're not sure where you are or what you're feeling.

You say you're not interested in him, but react like this. You say you're not emotional, but you clearly are.

First step to getting past something and moving on is admitting there was something wrong in the first place. You're halfway there. You've admitted something happened, but not that you really acknowledge how much it matters to you.

Switch off from them. You don't see either of them that often, do you don't have to think about it. You've got your work to concentrate on, so concentrate on it.

Stop beating yourself up over something that no longer has anything to do with you.

Reply 6

TiggyT-Dog

Hey. This probably won't make you feel much better, but I'm struggling at the minute too. I'm a teenage girl with a huge crush on a playboy. He thinks I'm over him. No way.

This started last March. I liked him. He said he liked me too. Stupid little me believed him. Come June, we were really close. Messaging every night. Telling each other we loved each other. One day he asked to meet up after school. We kissed, and he said he loved me and I was beautiful and he wanted to lose his virginity to me. Again, like the moron I am, I believed him. He said not to tell anyone. I said I wouldn't. I accidentally told my friend the next day. He got really really mad. He said he never cared about me and never did, and that I was making it all up. we are now in the same Drama, and he is a little bit friendly again, but not much. I miss him so so so much. I want it to be the same as before. He is so special to me. He's called Robin, and he means everything to me. There. My heartbreak story.

Reply 7

pjrodarte339

jesus christ. I think I got depression just from reading this. I don't know if this helps, but sometimes you just need to take a break from the big picture. I suggest going on holiday or getting a change of scenery, you will undoubtedly feel better. You need to take a step back, and re-evaluate your life with a calm, composed mind, it's no good ceaselessly stressing over something that isn't worth your health and time. I don't know what your current financial situation is like, but I would ultimately recommend going on a long holiday, with friends or perhaps to visit some family.

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Girl, you're worth so much more than this, and the vast majority of people on here will say the same thing to you, you shouldn't hate yourself, you're intelligent, probably beautiful and have an amazing personality by the sounds of it. This is clearly a tough time for you, but don't let this bring you down. Hopefully very soon, you'll look back on this and see how far you've come. What I'm saying is very cliche but its true. Go graduate, and keep telling yourself that you're amazing.

Reply 9

4Dasquaw

Original post by Anonymous

Sounds cute but B trust me you have to go for it. **** social status cos the feeling of being with someone is greater than any barriers that are there. Like idk how ur gonna do it but just get all ur friends or whatever to try hang out with him and his friends and get closer to him or whatever. Im not a girl so i can tell u what to do LOL. But i know what girls have done to try get close to me. Honestly B u gotta try go for him if u like him that much and he liked u. When i was 15, in my school one of the hottest girls who was 17 was so into me but she was leaving school that year. Literally told everyone she wanted to **** me and be with me so bad. I knew it in her eyes and she knew i liked her cos everyone secretly asked me if i liked her (she like super fit so obviously i liked her duh). She always kept trying to be with me but i thought it was weird (different years socially) and i was acting weird and ****. Long story short she left and still has that big crush on me just like i do (even as she went in the car to go home it was so obvs she sitll liked) . So legit its not worth not going for it. Just do it and you will be happier.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I think i'm having a breakdown? anxiety? Something is not right. It's not them or their situation- it's me. It wasn't that he chose her, it was that he didn't chose me. It's not her speding time with him, it's me not spending time with him. Maybe it's jealousy. I haven't dated in a while- turned good guys down for the sake of my grades. Maybe it is loneliness. I'm 21.

Reply 11

Drewski

Original post by Anonymous

You had some attention and affection lavished on you, then you had it taken away.

You should get back into dating. Doesn't have to be serious, doesn't have to be time consuming, but more exposure to more guys is a good thing.

Reply 12

Anonymous #4

Recently an old 'friend' (she doesn't call herself that anymore) of mine ended up on the street because I told her parents about her boyfriend beating her up. They did something (I don't know what, no one will tell me), that led to him throwing her out on the street. She won't go back to live with her parents because she hates them. Nobody knows where she is right now.

And its my fault apparently.

Perhaps I shouldn't have messed, but I got sick of listening to the f**king problems and not seeing anything done about them or doing anything myself. I've been having to deal with the fallout of this drama in my life for the past 3-4 months until I decided that anyone taking this shyt lying down is only making the problem worse.

Thankfully none of these people know where I live. I hope she figures it out though.

Reply 13

Hopefully1

You know I recently heard a phrase that I connected to....maybe other people know this saying but I didn't. "Rejection is protection" that is soooo true! I have certainly had my share of guy rejection.... or at least what I perceived as guy rejection because I was never straight forward enough to let crushes know I was interested. Anyway, look at the bullet you dodged because he didn't chose you. He treated that girl terribly!! He smacked talked her regularly in front of his friends including you! He did it enough that you saw his true colors and were put off by him to the point you had to quiet your job! It would have been no different if he'd chosen you - it would have just been your name he was using while trash talking to his friends. Thank heavens he 'rejected' you so you weren't having to deal with that issue! He doesn't respect his gf and he may have begged to get back with her but he isn't treated her better .... the only difference is you don't know what is going on. Even if he improved his behavior with her it would only have been temporary I feel certain. He is her problem and be so thankful he is not yours!

You are in an obsessive loop. I don't know if professional counseling is an option for you but if you literally feel like you are on the verge of breaking down no one here is going to have the capability to truly help you.

If you don't think you are literally having a breakdown then just understand that crushes can be powerful. It's taken me a year(+) to get over a crush (without the history you have with yours). Unrequited crushes can feel truly deflating but, honestly, it just was never meant to be. Again, I feel, you should thank your lucky stars that you never got more involved with that loser! And unfortunately you have no say in their relationship but behind the scenes I can promise it's not a sweet loving connection they have. You need to give up the unsolicited power he has over you. I don't know if you have faith but I have more to (many times) say, "God I can't handle this anymore.... please lift this from my shoulders and you carry it" and, for me, it truly works. That doesn't mean I don't eventually start worrying again but it definitely helps!! You need to start looking for some positives in your life and not just focus on the past and that hateful guy. What do you like in life - it's spring time - literally go out and smell the flowers! Find a peaceful spot and sit and be quite. Quiet your mind and listen to your breath and be at peace even if it is just temporary. Look up mindfulness techniques.

As I have said I've had many crushes and some definitely took longer to get over but I'm now out of uni and actually have a good significant other!! He isn't anyone I crushed on in my past. Move on with you life.... you are hurting yourself by continuing the allow this situation to have power over you. You will be graduating so smile and (pretend) you are so confident when you see them. Don't act meek! Living well is the best 'revenge' so if you're not inwardly confident act it outwardly and eventually you'll start actually feeling confident. There is a much better guy out there for you! You just haven't opened yourself up recently to allow yourself to meet anyone else. It's time to let this past situation go. You felt rejected but he was bad and has a bad reputation. Is that the guy you want to be associated with? Of course not. Go find the guy that has a good reputation and is fun and respectful!

That's ****ed

Although I haven’t been through something as bad as this, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks when it comes to guys and you really sound like you need someone to confide in. Feel free to PM me if you need a chat but otherwise just try your best to focus on yourself and not waste any more time of people that make you feel so ****