I'm so insecure- Advice please.

kind of brought this on yourself

don't be a slut next time

At 13 I was popular and fell into the trap of dating a new guy every other week, but they never lasted. I was confident then though. I talked to a guy from 13-14 as 'friends' but sometimes we would hook up. At 15 we we're officially dating but he was 19 and i found out he had been seeing another girl all of that time, they were engaged and had a 6 month old baby. I was mortified. Ii started to get a lot of female attention at this point too... I kissed a guy at a party and he said he liked me but i hated men by this point so said no to dating him. At 16 i started college and liked a guy but i was the total opposite of his type BUT, 3 months later he 'changed his mind' and said he suddenly fancied me, i thought he was lying for a joke because his best friend hated me. At 17/18 we did develop a bond and we were practically attatched at the hip in college but he never asked for my number and he didn't use social media. He complimented me all day every day and told me he wanted to get married and have kids, he was best friends with hsi ex wh was exactly his type but i trusted him 100%. His friend said it was becase he was s hy he didn't dare ask but I'm too insecure to make the first move myself. After 5 years he left and i haven't seen him since. At 19 i was taking to 4 guys looking for attention- maybe a casual relationship, but all my friends were having children and getting married so i wanted something more serious. I've spent the last 2 years mad in love with some guy i can't ever date because It turns out his gf is somebody i know and they had been secretly dating for over a year on and off.
I'm lonley. I feel like nobody has ever loved me or wanted to date me, but there has been loads. I'm the annoying girl who complains about been single but says no to everyone who asks. I have bautiful friends who have never dated or been kissed. I feel ugly and i guess i act like this because i am desperate and insecure. I'm so jealous of all my friends daating right now. I've lost my confidence and think everybody can do better than me. I have 1 friend just out of an 8 year relationship, one who has had her first bf at 24 and got pregnant straight away and loads who are just starting to date. I'm single but don't want to fall back into the habbit of dating for the sake of saying i'm not single. I want something meaningful. I have issues i guess, anybody else like this?

kind of brought this on yourself

don't be a slut next time

At 13 I was popular and fell into the trap of dating a new guy every other week, but they never lasted. I was confident then though. I talked to a guy from 13-14 as 'friends' but sometimes we would hook up. At 15 we we're officially dating but he was 19 and i found out he had been seeing another girl all of that time, they were engaged and had a 6 month old baby. I was mortified. Ii started to get a lot of female attention at this point too... I kissed a guy at a party and he said he liked me but i hated men by this point so said no to dating him. At 16 i started college and liked a guy but i was the total opposite of his type BUT, 3 months later he 'changed his mind' and said he suddenly fancied me, i thought he was lying for a joke because his best friend hated me. At 17/18 we did develop a bond and we were practically attatched at the hip in college but he never asked for my number and he didn't use social media. He complimented me all day every day and told me he wanted to get married and have kids, he was best friends with hsi ex wh was exactly his type but i trusted him 100%. His friend said it was becase he was s hy he didn't dare ask but I'm too insecure to make the first move myself. After 5 years he left and i haven't seen him since. At 19 i was taking to 4 guys looking for attention- maybe a casual relationship, but all my friends were having children and getting married so i wanted something more serious. I've spent the last 2 years mad in love with some guy i can't ever date because It turns out his gf is somebody i know and they had been secretly dating for over a year on and off.
I'm lonley. I feel like nobody has ever loved me or wanted to date me, but there has been loads. I'm the annoying girl who complains about been single but says no to everyone who asks. I have bautiful friends who have never dated or been kissed. I feel ugly and i guess i act like this because i am desperate and insecure. I'm so jealous of all my friends daating right now. I've lost my confidence and think everybody can do better than me. I have 1 friend just out of an 8 year relationship, one who has had her first bf at 24 and got pregnant straight away and loads who are just starting to date. I'm single but don't want to fall back into the habbit of dating for the sake of saying i'm not single. I want something meaningful. I have issues i guess, anybody else like this?