What is the best way to tell a loved one that I might have social anxiety?

I have the same problem - well, I don’t have anxiety attacks but I do get really anxious in certain situations and I have absolutely no idea how to tell anybody (it doesn’t help that I’m anxious about how they’d react). Sorry I can’t really help with advice on how to tell people, but I hope somebody can help and that things get better for you.

Put this in Relationships because I guess it related to my friends and family.

For the last three years or so, I knew that something was wrong with me in that I get really nervous in social situations. It’s gotten worse since then, but I now found a name for it back in October last year. Social Anxiety (not officially diagnosed). Since then, I planned to tell someone. But things like schoolwork, life and other people’s problems got in the way. So basically, I was stalling and waiting for the “right” time.

Then something happened almost two weeks ago. I started getting a tight feeling in my chest every morning that I knew I would be leaving the house, even for school. Then it started happening in school. About four days ago during study, I almost started crying randomly so I excused myself to go to the bathroom in order to cry in peace. But I started getting that tight chest again, along with fast mouth breathing and that feeling of still needing to cry. I cleaned myself up and later found out that it was most likely a panic or anxiety attack (also not diagnosed).

Since that happened, and after I had a dream of it happening again in public last night. I feel like I should tell someone right away. But how do I do that?

For me I was very lucky and spoke to my partner - having someone I had that level of trust with really helped lift off some of the pressure.

I think telling your teacher/tutor can help, if you trust them and you feel they will take you seriously and not a interruption to their life. Someone who can help bring up excuses for why you need to leave the classroom and can look out for you - this can calm you a little bit to know you're not alone and you can offload this pressure to.

If you're nervous about saying it in person, maybe write an email to your preferred somebody? Again, I must stress you need to be sure this will be received positively - you'll never know for sure but you should have a pretty good idea.

Try not to put on any emphasis on "I need help" but that you just want somebody to know and to speak to - this will keep the pressure off them and help them understand that by just having an open lines of communicating they are helping.

Thank you! A teacher or tutor sounds like a good idea but would it not bother them? They are busy people after all.

The email is also a neat idea! I’ve always been better at speaking my mind through my writing (or text in this case) than vocally.

You might be able to gauge that for yourself, whether or not this is the kind of person who will want to help me. Most teachers/tutors do get involved because they're in this profession for a reason. Also it is human nature to help each other, believe it or not.

Does your school/college not have a Health and Welfare office anyway?

They do have a SENCO and a councillor. But the SENCO isn’t on my side most of the time (I do have disabilities so I am involved with that). Plus, I only have three weeks into if the year left (study leave)

In that case it might not be worth saying anything and just holding on - 3 more weeks!

Do you have a favourite teacher? Someone you have good rapport with?

I'd actually put it across as exam anxiety - they're more likely to help you and it comes across less personal about you and your mental health.

Takes any other anxieties branching out from somebody else knowing that you suffer from anxiety - a horrible irony

Exam anxiety is a great and more discreet idea. I’ll bring that up when I can! There is a teacher or two in the school that I could talk to so I could try them. Thank you so much

Think you will have to actually get it diagnosed first of all rather than rely on your own judgement but it sounds like you have some of the symptoms.

I would tell somebody close to you that can keep it a secret. I am sure there are charities out there specialising in social anxiety who could probably gve you advice on how to tell somebody if you contact them.

I suffer mildly from social anxiety, and the way I told my parents was I just found a time it felt right and straight up said I think I have social anxiety, after that they helped me get help etc. easier than it sounds

Just write it down and hand it to the Dr or your parent. It might seem like a big thing but it wont be to the Dr and assuming you get on with your parents then they hopefully will take you seriously and be concerned.

Someone else mentioned this except with email. This will probably be my best bet. Thank you

If you do the radio, then that will be a big confidence booster.