Sexually inexperienced at uni Watch

Anonymous #1
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Heading to uni in September and am currently on a gap year. Not done much going out cause I've had no mates around so I can't even remember the last time I talked to a girl apart from in a shop or something but I've enjoyed the down time.

I'm 19 and a virgin. While that's not a huge issue for me I feel like I've missed the boat on when everyone was discovering sex. I spent a long time crushing on one girl which was a terrible idea but in uni I just want to be as confident as possible.

I haven't even kissed a girl since the old primary school days and that was hardly romantic lool. Will girls in university expect guys to be virgins and will they be virgins themselves? I feel like I'm waaaay behind in terms of sexual experience. Thank you to anyone who replies x
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HoldThisL
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#2
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No one really expects anyone to be or not to be a virgin. So long as you don't mention it, no one is going to suspect you or give you a hard time for it.

Freshers' is a great time to boost confidence; no one knows anyone (practically) so you can just go up to a bunch of strangers and say "hey, mind if I sit with you guys" and it'll be fine. It's a short leap from friendship to actually being able to get to know the people you really click with - everyone starts somewhere.

The first few days are just about what A levels you studied anyway - you'll be fine.
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huncho4jack
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Heading to uni in September and am currently on a gap year. Not done much going out cause I've had no mates around so I can't even remember the last time I talked to a girl apart from in a shop or something but I've enjoyed the down time.

I'm 19 and a virgin. While that's not a huge issue for me I feel like I've missed the boat on when everyone was discovering sex. I spent a long time crushing on one girl which was a terrible idea but in uni I just want to be as confident as possible.

I haven't even kissed a girl since the old primary school days and that was hardly romantic lool. Will girls in university expect guys to be virgins and will they be virgins themselves? I feel like I'm waaaay behind in terms of sexual experience. Thank you to anyone who replies x
Depends which uni really.
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Anonymous #2
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there will be a whole range of people at uni, some will be super experienced and some will be virgins. There are a lot more people that are still virgins than you think. Don’t stress about it, people don’t care!! It’s up to you whether you tell girls, I personally wouldn’t care if a guy was a virgin but that might be different for some girls. Just have fun tbh sex isn’t everything, I’m sure you’ll be going out lots and drinking so if you really wanted to have sex I’m sure the opportunity will arise many times x
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crocodile_ears
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I don't think there's really such thing as 'missing the boat', like there are a lot people who don't have sex until they go to uni, and probably a lot of people who don't have sex until they're way into their twenties. I know there's a lot of pressure to be good at sex and to have experience, but if you approach sex with a good open-minded attitude and you're willing to learn then girls will be fine with it. I'd say that enthusiasm and communication are the most important things in regards to sex, not how much you've had. Be honest with your sexual partners about how you feel, and listen to them back, and you'll be okay.
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YeFool
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Jesus
get off fortnite
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by YeFool)
Jesus
get off fortnite
Haven't ever played Fortnite
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Hirsty97
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What is your degree in?

Pornographic studies?
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username3881158
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Why is everyone so obsessed with sex? When it happens it happens but don't make it a life goal. Have bigger things to focus on. Some people stay virgins well past their Uni days.
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anonymous4445
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(Original post by Deane145)
Why is everyone so obsessed with sex? When it happens it happens but don't make it a life goal. Have bigger things to focus on. Some people stay virgins well past their Uni days.
Because modern culture is obsessed with sex? You can't buy a cheeseburger anymore without somebody likening it to a ****.

https://ncoleartist.files.wordpress....pg?w=714&h=312 I mean just take a look at this ****.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Deane145)
Why is everyone so obsessed with sex? When it happens it happens but don't make it a life goal. Have bigger things to focus on. Some people stay virgins well past their Uni days.
Yeah why is a human being with sexual urges craving intimacy and pleasure, can't see any reason why myself
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dandiprat
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Really depends... I know plenty of people who are open to sleeping with virgins; and, I mean, I have offered to be a test subject for a few people (friends and acquaintances) who were either scared about losing their virginity or wanted to practise their performance. I assume there would be others with a similar openness as myself? I know I have spoken to people about my experiences as an entry point for some virgins and they have admitted they would be happy to do the same for someone if they asked.
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dandiprat
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(Original post by Deane145)
Why is everyone so obsessed with sex? When it happens it happens but don't make it a life goal. Have bigger things to focus on. Some people stay virgins well past their Uni days.
Everyone is different. Some people are content without looking for it, whereas others feel the need to seek it out to be satisfied. Nothing wrong with being interested in it and I don't think OP is particularly obsessed, just predicting the possibility of losing their virginity in university and worrying it might be a problem.
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I spent a long time crushing on one girl which was a terrible idea but in uni I just want to be as confident as possible.
Uni isn't a magic wand. It doesn't suddenly change who you are as a person.

If you couldn't pull a rope beforehand, you're not suddenly going to have girls dripping off your every word.

Don't assume you'll get anywhere. And don't assume that everything leads to sex; it's a surefire way to guarantee you won't get anything.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Drewski)
Uni isn't a magic wand. It doesn't suddenly change who you are as a person.

If you couldn't pull a rope beforehand, you're not suddenly going to have girls dripping off your every word.

Don't assume you'll get anywhere. And don't assume that everything leads to sex; it's a surefire way to guarantee you won't get anything.
To be fair, in high school and college to an extent I was limited by how I started high school. In year 7 I was a small chubby kid and had a few nerdy friends at first so throughout school, even as I hung around with more and more people I was typecast as belonging to that group. I was always friendly with the kids that went to parties and talked to them a lot in lessons but was never involved in their group so was never invited to a party so never got into any positions where I could chat up girls.

I go into uni much fitter and much more confident in my appearance and everything about myself so it really is a fresh start. But yeah, if it happens I'll be happy and if it doesn't I'll still be having a great time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by dandiprat)
Really depends... I know plenty of people who are open to sleeping with virgins; and, I mean, I have offered to be a test subject for a few people (friends and acquaintances) who were either scared about losing their virginity or wanted to practise their performance. I assume there would be others with a similar openness as myself? I know I have spoken to people about my experiences as an entry point for some virgins and they have admitted they would be happy to do the same for someone if they asked.
I'm incredibly interested in how you bring that up without risking losing a friendship with the person but I appreciate your open mindedness.
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dandiprat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm incredibly interested in how you bring that up without risking losing a friendship with the person but I appreciate your open mindedness.
Honestly, it is probably because I have struck a point in my life where I can personally enjoy sex and make it significant for myself on different levels: for emotional intimacy, for mere enjoyment, to benefit others, etcetera. It feels like a pretty healthy yet interesting relationship to have with it, so I am open to discussing it when it is relevant in a conversation. I am also pretty empathetic because I can remember how freaked out I was when I first lost my own virginity, which was far too young in retrospect; but the time has given me the ability to build an ideal understanding of myself and others. It shocks me how many people are held back just because they don't know what to expect from themselves, or how people have their confidence ruined long-term from a bad hookup or after a rough breakup.

At the end of the day, many people like to have a person they can bounce feelings and concerns off of personally and without judgement and I have done my best to provide that. I guess, it then transferred into physical actions for those who needed it, after I first made the offer to my best friend. I had a couple of issues with him getting a bit too attached afterwards, but we remain very good friends and I have the maturity needed to maintain a sensible and platonic relationship with him.

I guess I am extending my original answer in case anyone else was specifically interested in it and since I have found a lot of people can connect with the ideology once it is presented clearly.
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carrotstar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Heading to uni in September and am currently on a gap year. Not done much going out cause I've had no mates around so I can't even remember the last time I talked to a girl apart from in a shop or something but I've enjoyed the down time.

I'm 19 and a virgin. While that's not a huge issue for me I feel like I've missed the boat on when everyone was discovering sex. I spent a long time crushing on one girl which was a terrible idea but in uni I just want to be as confident as possible.

I haven't even kissed a girl since the old primary school days and that was hardly romantic lool. Will girls in university expect guys to be virgins and will they be virgins themselves? I feel like I'm waaaay behind in terms of sexual experience. Thank you to anyone who replies x
I was a virgin and so was my boyfriend! Although there’s not really an easy way to tell, I’d definitely recommend finding someone equally inexperienced so you can explore that avenue together. However if someone likes you for you then they shouldn’t care about your experience anyway.

Unless you’re a “natural” then you might want to avoid ONS’s, at least until you get your foot in the door as it were.
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casanova27
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
No one really expects anyone to be or not to be a virgin. So long as you don't mention it, no one is going to suspect you or give you a hard time for it.

Freshers' is a great time to boost confidence; no one knows anyone (practically) so you can just go up to a bunch of strangers and say "hey, mind if I sit with you guys" and it'll be fine. It's a short leap from friendship to actually being able to get to know the people you really click with - everyone starts somewhere.

The first few days are just about what A levels you studied anyway - you'll be fine.
Nice explained, I am sharing your opinion
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