Girl I'm seeing slept with someone else

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
So I (19, F) have this very close friend (also 19, F) I started drunkenly sleeping with about two months ago. At first she claims not to remember anything (she initiated) but then even though we said it shouldn't happen again after a week we had sex again. After the holidays, we had a talk about how we could stay friends with benefits and so we started having sex regularly, and by that I mean something like everyday for two weeks. We literally spent all our time together and she basically lived in my flat. After a few weeks we agreed that we both had feelings for each other and she said she would be hurt if she saw me getting with anyone else.

Fast forward to two nights ago, my flatmates and I were going out (including her) and she ended up having sex with another guy who lives upstairs from my flat. I was very angry and heartbroken which led me to throw all her stuff out my room :laugh:. When she came home she started begging and crying about how she's never wanted anyone as much as she wants me. In my drunken state I took her back and agreed on being exclusive with her. We ended up doing stuff again that night (which I regret now) but now that I'm sober I'm still very hurt about what she did and it kind of turned me off of her. Even though we haven't agreed on being official before she had sex with him it definitely felt like we were more than fwbs and I can't help but feel like she cheated on me and betrayed my trust. I haven't been with anyone else after having sex with her.

I don't know what to do, she's going to be my flatmate next year and to make things worse, the guy she slept with is also coincidentally staying a few floors above us next year. Should I take her back or just try to forget about her?
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Sataris
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#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
Without prior confirmed exclusivity you have no real case
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Centurion_Sam
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#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
oh dam. well if you let those thoughts continue its just going to get sour and toxic for the both of you. and we don't want anything else bad to happen. If suggest just trying to talk this out with her 1:1 or with a therapist/phycologist and see if they can come up with a situation to work around. Best thing to do is either try and make things work with her and at the very least get over what she did. I mean we all have our little lapse in time and maybe she just got drunk too much. we shall never know. But you can't let this eat at you for months or bad things will just happen. Then again I'm a 19yr old with 0 sexual experience so take my advice as common sense or what anyone else would say here.
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bones-mccoy
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#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
You may be upset but you didn't discuss being exclusive before she slept with anyone else so you don't really have a right to be angry with her
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firemyst
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#5
Report 2 days ago
#5
Like what everyone else said.

But, maybe you can reflect too... are you upset? Or perhaps jealous? Or both? Maybe if you were involved in the fun somehow you wouldn't be as upset?
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