Would A physically Fit Guy Date A Plus-Sized Girl? Watch

Musicgirl97
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Okay, so for years I have been a plus sized girl; since I was around 13 to be exact-which is when I started getting chunkier in size, and I have had my fair share of body image issues and insecurities about my body type. However, I learned to overcome these issues and finally accept my chubby belly and thick curves. But of course like all human beings, every now and again I will doubt myself! Might I add all my friend group (all my life) have been made up of mostly skinnier girls, so I had to deal with thinking I was the 'ugly' fat friend all my teen years. Glad to say I worked through that confidence issue too. Personally, if we are talking about physical appearance (because remember folks beauty is but skin deep-a phrase i truly believe in. Looks fade and we get older..end of), I think it doesn't matter what body type you have, if you're a good looking girl you're a good looking girl.period.

With all that being said I know they're plenty of good looking chaps out there that aren't afraid to date a plus sized girl, but personally in my city I've never seen a physically attractive 'fitness fanatic' type of guy want to be with a chubby-bellied-but-curvy plus sized girl (like me). In my city it seems guys like a woman with big curves. but they want the flat stomach too;which to me is very unrealistic as only a minority of ladies are lucky enough to have that body type (my mother being one of them lol). So my question to the fitness fanatic men of the student room forum is this; would you get into a serious relationship with a plus-sized woman?

P.S. the reason i Am asking this question is it seems so many guys (not every guy though of course) my age (21) only want to do that one thing with a plus sized girl, and dont really seem to ever take us seriously and never see us as girlfriend material. It seems like a lot of young guys just see us as a fetish and thats it.

P.P.S. Also, I'd love to hear about any plus-sized girls experiences within the dating world.
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Batmans dad
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Whats a plus size?
I never seen that size in stores
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Anonymous #1
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As one of the fittest guys on earth, no I wouldn't

I'm gay, sorry
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Brocolli123
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I wouldn't mind if she was just a bit chubby, not morbidly obese though. It gives the impression that if you can't look after your own body you won't be able to look after someone else in a relationship. If by physically fit you mean in shape but not chiselled with 6-pack then yeah, you seem to have a good personality and I'm sure alot of people would be willing to date you. I'm not sure if somebody who was super into the gym and being buff would as health is a big thing, but a few may look past it.
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Musicgirl97
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(Original post by Batmans dad)
Whats a plus size?
I never seen that size in stores
well for example; Im a girl that has curves (big butt, big breasts, big thighs and hips) but I also have a very chubby belly. My clothing size can vary a little as all shops have a slightly different size range. However typically I'm 18-20 on my top half (thats more so because of my breast size though lol), and 14-16 on my bottom half, size 18 in denim jeans. I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 16 stone. So yes, Im a plus sized lady; or bigger lady. Whatever you want to call it, im a lot bigger than the average girl in my area.
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Batmans dad
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
well for example; Im a girl that has curves (big butt, big breasts, big thighs and hips) but I also have a very chubby belly. My clothing size can vary a little as all shops have a slightly different size range. However typically I'm 18-20 on my top half (thats more so because of my breast size though lol), and 14-16 on my bottom half, size 18 in denim jeans. I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 16 stone. So yes, Im a plus sized lady; or bigger lady. Whatever you want to call it, im a lot bigger than the average girl in my area.
Ahhhh ok i get you, i get you

So what area or ends are these?
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Musicgirl97
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(Original post by Brocolli123)
I wouldn't mind if she was just a bit chubby, not morbidly obese though. It gives the impression that if you can't look after your own body you won't be able to look after someone else in a relationship. If by physically fit you mean in shape but not chiselled with 6-pack then yeah, you seem to have a good personality and I'm sure alot of people would be willing to date you. I'm not sure if somebody who was super into the gym and being buff would as health is a big thing, but a few may look past it.
thank you for your honesty I appreciate it a lot. Also I forgot to mention in my post that I know everyone has a preference. For example I dont have a set type, but I prefer to date a guy that has some meat on his bones so to speak, big shoulders, tall etc. Not usually attracted to really slender guys. In the same respect I know some guys prefer to date petite girls (petite in both ways; height and weight).

Also, me personally I have always looked after myself, I walk everywhere and Im always out and about (not one to stay indoors and laze around). But I get what you mean.
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winterscoming
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
P.S. the reason i Am asking this question is it seems so many guys (not every guy though of course) my age (21) only want to do that one thing with a plus sized girl, and dont really seem to ever take us seriously and never see us as girlfriend material. It seems like a lot of young guys just see us as a fetish and thats it.
So there are some guys on your course who don't treat you like this? Maybe one of those would see you as girlfriend material - do you ever talk to those guys?
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Musicgirl97
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(Original post by winterscoming)
So there are some guys on your course who don't treat you like this? Maybe one of those would see you as girlfriend material - do you ever talk to those guys?
I never get approached, I can name a handful of occasions where a guy has openly flirted with me. A lot of guys have said I was pretty, but I've never been asked on a date or anything like that. Throughout my teen years, guys I was interested in romantically were never interested in me.
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Withengar
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I just want to preface this by saying that none of the things I will say are meant to offend you. They are merely just honest answers to the question posed. Okay? Okay.

The first thing that you have to consider is the fact that a lot of that initial attraction is based on physical attractiveness. Whatever your personality, people will almost always be initially drawn to you due to physical attraction. There's very little that you can do to change this - it's just simple biology. Therefore, due to the fact that you're not, by your own admission, conventionally attractive, people are less likely to notice you.

The second thing that you have to consider is the fact that people tend to like others similar to themselves. Thus, someone who spends a lot of time and energy in the gym and eating healthily is not likely to be attracted to someone who is, at least in some aspects, the exact opposite of that. Again, it's not impossible, just rather unlikely. Finally, even if they were willing to get pass it all, they would likely mind in the long term, seeing how it is something that could easily cause tension in a relationship.

My advice would be to take a long, hard look at what you want and how do you prioritize things in life. It is more than a little hypocritical to look out to date someone physically fit and attractive, while having a very different standard for yourself. Ultimately, I am of the opinion that it would be best, primarily for yourself, but also for your dating prospects, to try to eat healthier and lose weight.
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InTheCupboard
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As one of the fittest guys on earth, no I wouldn't

I'm gay, sorry
I'd like to contest that you're the one of the fittest on the planet. How fit would you be if I gave you food and took away exercise? I'm thinking dinner and a movie, and then later on we could compare who's really the fittest...
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winterscoming
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
I never get approached, I can name a handful of occasions where a guy has openly flirted with me. A lot of guys have said I was pretty, but I've never been asked on a date or anything like that. Throughout my teen years, guys I was interested in romantically were never interested in me.
I get that, but if these are guys who perhaps still have body image issues, or they feel like they're the ugly fat friend, then they're much less likely to approach you. Maybe they've got the same insecurities about themselves that you used to have, and they never approach anyone. I'm not suggesting you have to openly flirt with them right off the bat, but maybe just talk to them and get to know a bit about them first. If you wait around for guys who approach you, then it's mostly going to be the ones who have high self-confidence, so it'll probably turn out just to be mostly the fetish guys.
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CleverSquirrel
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My boyfriends best friend is ripped af, like he looks like arnold schwarzenegger when he was younger, and his gf is a curvy girl, he loves it and theyre both in a happy relationship for 3 years now, i asked her about it and she says he doesnt force her or make her lose weight and he loves her the way she is

and a fair few of my male friends share the same views too (and my trainer at the gym too).... its just the matter of finding the right guy
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Musicgirl97
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(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
My boyfriends best friend is ripped af, like he looks like arnold schwarzenegger when he was younger, and his gf is a curvy girl, he loves it and theyre both in a happy relationship for 3 years now, i asked her about it and she says he doesnt force her or make her lose weight and he loves her the way she is

and a fair few of my male friends share the same views too (and my trainer at the gym too).... its just the matter of finding the right guy
YOUR DESCRIPTION OF YOUR FRIEND IS ABSOLUTELY STELLAR LOVE IT! On a serious note though, they sound like such a lovely couple and he sounds like a lovely guy. This has given me so much hope!! Also, thats very true, its just a matter of waiting for the right one
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CleverSquirrel
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
YOUR DESCRIPTION OF YOUR FRIEND IS ABSOLUTELY STELLAR LOVE IT! On a serious note though, they sound like such a lovely couple and he sounds like a lovely guy. This has given me so much hope!! Also, thats very true, its just a matter of waiting for the right one
haha thank you!

honey theres always hope! my ex bf was shredded af, and i weighed alot back then, and we were together for a year, and tbf its little known but alot of guys like curvy girls! we split due to unfortunate events that we wont dwell on, but yes, there is hope! My boyfriend now is in the army so has to train everyday, i just got lucky with him haha

just promise me never to go on tinder for it :lol:
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CleverSquirrel
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(Original post by Brocolli123)
I wouldn't mind if she was just a bit chubby, not morbidly obese though. It gives the impression that if you can't look after your own body you won't be able to look after someone else in a relationship. If by physically fit you mean in shape but not chiselled with 6-pack then yeah, you seem to have a good personality and I'm sure alot of people would be willing to date you. I'm not sure if somebody who was super into the gym and being buff would as health is a big thing, but a few may look past it.
surprisingly a few do look past it
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
With all that being said I know they're plenty of good looking chaps out there that aren't afraid to date a plus sized girl, but personally in my city I've never seen a physically attractive 'fitness fanatic' type of guy want to be with a chubby-bellied-but-curvy plus sized girl (like me). In my city it seems guys like a woman with big curves. but they want the flat stomach too;which to me is very unrealistic as only a minority of ladies are lucky enough to have that body type (my mother being one of them lol). So my question to the fitness fanatic men of the student room forum is this; would you get into a serious relationship with a plus-sized woman?
.
IMHO, you're unlikely to get many Adonis types who would go for a curvy girl; mainly because their health and training regime is their passion. It's the whole lot (spending hours in the gym, the strict diet, those awful protein shakes etc.). that a "chubby bellied" person is the antithesis for everything they live for. Even if you were to get one to date you, their routine and / or lifestyle would probably become irritating to you if you wern't willing to start training yourself.

Having said that, a lot of black men like (no love) the larger ladies... even the ones who spend hours in the gym; oh yes! I think it goes back to traditional African cultures where being big is a status symbol (i.e. they can afford to be big). So, I don't know if you have any "restrictions" or "preferences" on the type of guys you date, but realistically I think you'd have more success trying your luck with black guys.who are ripped, as oppposed to the equivalent white guys; not sure about Asians.
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Afforestation
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(Original post by Musicgirl97)
Okay, so for years I have been a plus sized girl; since I was around 13 to be exact-which is when I started getting chunkier in size, and I have had my fair share of body image issues and insecurities about my body type. However, I learned to overcome these issues and finally accept my chubby belly and thick curves. But of course like all human beings, every now and again I will doubt myself! Might I add all my friend group (all my life) have been made up of mostly skinnier girls, so I had to deal with thinking I was the 'ugly' fat friend all my teen years. Glad to say I worked through that confidence issue too. Personally, if we are talking about physical appearance (because remember folks beauty is but skin deep-a phrase i truly believe in. Looks fade and we get older..end of), I think it doesn't matter what body type you have, if you're a good looking girl you're a good looking girl.period.

With all that being said I know they're plenty of good looking chaps out there that aren't afraid to date a plus sized girl, but personally in my city I've never seen a physically attractive 'fitness fanatic' type of guy want to be with a chubby-bellied-but-curvy plus sized girl (like me). In my city it seems guys like a woman with big curves. but they want the flat stomach too;which to me is very unrealistic as only a minority of ladies are lucky enough to have that body type (my mother being one of them lol). So my question to the fitness fanatic men of the student room forum is this; would you get into a serious relationship with a plus-sized woman?

P.S. the reason i Am asking this question is it seems so many guys (not every guy though of course) my age (21) only want to do that one thing with a plus sized girl, and dont really seem to ever take us seriously and never see us as girlfriend material. It seems like a lot of young guys just see us as a fetish and thats it.

P.P.S. Also, I'd love to hear about any plus-sized girls experiences within the dating world.
Well hed have to like you for your personality, and personality only, which is uncommon at that age. You dont sound like you have that characteristic as you want a sexy guy who's worked for his body, but want to stay 'plus sized' (fat, just fat.) yourself. If you want a guy who cares about fitness, youre probably going to have to care about fitness yourself. Guys who work on their body are doing it to attract a mate. Ive seen some physically fit men go out with overweight women but its very uncommon. I wouldnt, but my preferences do not fit all.
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gjd800
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(Original post by Afforestation)
I wouldnt, but my preferences do not fit all.
Now you're getting it! :laugh:
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Mahel
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would a physically FIT girl date an overweight boy when chances are that she has a choice of more alpha males? e.g. rugby players, footballers etc
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