1st para. of my ps...overwhelmingly CRAP...

hey...

'From an early age, I have always wanted to become a doctor, but my ideas as a child, which I can vaugley recall involved a doctor toy set and teddy bear banged from head to toe, or paw in this case, have changed, but the fundamental basis of my attraction to medicine still exists.'

i know there's something wrong with it, you know there's something wrong with it...what's wrong with it??!!!

....look at my feeble attempts at humour..-shakes head- :frown:

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Minnieb48

hey...

Don't start a PS with "from an early age" or "ever since I was young", it's such a cliche. And humour doesnt tend to go down well with admissions tutors, you'd probably be safer going for something more straightforward that states your passion for the subject (boring I know).

Having said that, I have a nice image of a cute kid with a teddy bear in my head! I dunno, the more I read it the more I like the idea. Maybe because all the PS's I've read (including mine) sound the same. But then again if someone put "Steven Gerrard rules" for the first sentence of theirs I'd give them a place so dont listen to me!

Reply 4

Minnieb48

nnnnooooo!! arghhh....

be specific..i need to know what i'm doing wrong....its the paw bit, isnt it??..lol...

and to think this is my 7th attempt at the first paragraph....-shakes head-..what..gcse english was only 2 years ago....why my illiteracy??..lol

Reply 5

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Minnieb48

hey...

No room for humour... you have to stuff it full of info about how good you are. Also write in a very decisive way - they need to know that you are confident about where you're going (don't over-egg it though). Don't be afraid to show a desire to succeed, they like that and expect any self-respecting candidate will feel that way - the last thing they want is someone who is just for the ride and wants a good salary at the end of it. Finally, anywhere you write "I don't know why but" or something to that effect, rewrite the sentence in a more positive way. I know it all seems a bit false, but you have to sell yourself, and it also needs to be concise and well thought out. None of this thinking out loud stuff - you do that before you write your PS. I rewrote bits of my PS over and over until it looked very little like the original. It also said about twice as much in half the space once I was done! The PS is important, but you don't have to give it in 'til it's ready, so don't stress!

Reply 6

Minnieb48

yeah sam..i've always agreed with the 'since i could walk' cliches..but i though the little humour would get them smiling against the thounsands of other 'since i was in the womb'...hey..maybe i should do that..'since i was in my mother's womb i've loved huiman biology..'....

Reply 7

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Minnieb48

Hehe. I was tempted to bring in some humour myself, and I have to admit I would laugh if I read what you just said... but I think it's a risk I'd rather not take with my own application.

Reply 8

Minnieb48

but see...the rest is packed full of info, passion..etc...i was even able to squeeze in a little..'i love football...at the moment, my bedroom is a shrine to the holy thierry henry'...see..irrelevant crap but i can't help want to put my personality into it.....

Reply 9

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Minnieb48

This was originally an edit to my last post, but I see you've posted again:

What are your real reasons for choosing Medicine? Reading what you wrote, I wouldn't be convinced that they had anything to do with your motives to become a doctor. I presume you've rationalised the choice in your head many times. Write those reasons down, even if they don't sound very good, then get someone to help you write a PS that is true to yourself and sounds good. If the PS is a load of bollocks they may well find you out and then you will lose all credibility with them. I don't think they're too bothered about the exact reason you chose medicine, providing it doesn't show a lack of understanding of what you're getting yourself into or suggest you're in it for glamour or money.

Reply 10

marabara

Minnieb48

hmm, you're not going to get a place at that rate

just be more mature in your approach - these people want serious people not jokers

there is a time and a place for a sense of humour and personality overload, and your PS is not it.... true, some people may appreciate it, but in most cases they won't so a safer approach is required

your preconceptions of medicine as a child will be very different from the reality - you seem to show yourself as still harbouring those preconceptions, and are not willing to take this business seriously

Reply 11

Minnieb48

bailey...s...look, dont get me wrong, my ps is perfectly rational, clear...blah...i passionalty listed the reasons form my undying love for human bilogy, not one word is a lie. my problem is not the main content of the ps but the first paragraph/line. i want the addmissons tutor to notice me and what better way then humour to urge him on to what probably would be his/her 1000th ps.

Reply 12

Minnieb48

and..erm...the thierry henry thing....it was a sort of joke gone bad..i havent actually written that in my ps....

Reply 13

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Minnieb48

I don't have my old PS on my PC, and in any case I wouldn't send it to you (not that you asked) because I think it's not right to do so. However, I'll give you an idea of what my reasons were:

1) Early experience in hospital when I had a kidney infection - looked up to doctors from a young age because of how I was treated. This shows you appreciate the personal side of medicine and that it has been on your mind for a long time.

2) What I want out of life - to get personal satisfaction from what I do; to have a job that challenges you and keeps you interested, since you will need to learn for life, not just at med school; prefer a job that involves dealing with people and helping them to one which is more detahced, like an office job or laboratory job (which would be a natural alternative for many scientifically gifted people, though suited to totally different kind of personality, I think)

3) What I have to give - motivation (show examples), leadership skills (show examples). This section can sound the most arrogant, so don't go overboard, but cite examples to show that you're not just making this stuff up

4) Work experience - I said what I'd learnt and how this had solidifed what I had considered very carefully. You can mention that you are aware of the demands of the job etc. but look forward to the challenges the job would bring

If you are interested in the scientific side of medicine, by all means mention that too, as it is just as important as the communications aspect of the job. You may have good science A levels, but believe me that the science you do at med school will be a right chore if you don't actually enjoy science.

Mention extracurricular achievements if you have any and what your hobbies are. Hopefully you can back them up with some sort of evidence, but with some things you just can't. Be aware that if you mention it they may well follow you up on it. I mentioned I've tried a bit of sailing on my PS, and my interviewers at Manchester asked me to talk to them about how to sail a boat!!

Reply 14

Kaos

So many people want to take medicine these days...

Reply 15

Minnieb48

baily...you are not listening....read my last post again..and then come back to me....

Reply 16

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Minnieb48

You asked for our help and I'm giving you it. I didn't make any assumptions about the rest of your personal statement, but I know that it isn't exactly crystal clear what you should be writing and how, and many people get no assistance from their school.

Regarding your opening paragraph, if you want them to think you're serious, ditch the comedy.