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I hate my new job (childcare) after just 1 week in? Can I leave?

I got a part-time job in the childcare sector which provides me with really important experience. I am fully unqualified and had no experience with children. My first day was working 9-4 w/o training and it was so overwhelming and emotionally draining looking after groups of 8 toddlers with no idea how. I had no training either for the job. The work and staff env is hostile which makes me feel even more anxious about raising concerns. My home life environment is also extremely stressful but is something I can't deal with while I'm getting so anxious at work. Ideally, I'd like to leave the job (main anxiety source) and then work out the home situation (secondary source)

I'm freaking out because I'm at the smallest + basic work hours and I'm still struggling. I got my shift changed to only 3 hours - I tried 4 and it was extremely stressful. I know they expect me to cover much longer hours but I can't imagine doing more than 3 hours per day. I am getting anxious and feeling awful about going in each day and I honestly just want to tell the manager I want to leave. It makes me feel horrible, knowing that I can't even manage 3 hours without feeling the strain, whereas my friends can manage 8 hour shifts (in diff jobs tho). And everyone else there has been working there for years and I feel so stupid that it's stressing me out so much. I'm worried they won't let me leave if they are understaffed as well.

There is another job I want but it is just only for the summer. But I know more of the staff there and feel happier in the work environment.

I'm in a probation period so the notice to give is only 2 weeks. I just don't know what to do - I don't know if anyone has ever worked in childcare w toddlers and felt the same?
Original post by idkkkk
I got a part-time job in the childcare sector which provides me with really important experience.


You say this is giving you really important experience - are you going to change your career plans then?
Reply 2
Original post by threeportdrift
You say this is giving you really important experience - are you going to change your career plans then?


Idk what you mean. It gives me good experience for a course I need, but I can get that experience in another job that I am halfway signed up for. The one I already have is more of a fixed contract than the other one which is just a summer temporary job. But I think I can reference that summer job too (hopefully).
Original post by idkkkk
I got a part-time job in the childcare sector which provides me with really important experience. I am fully unqualified and had no experience with children. My first day was working 9-4 w/o training and it was so overwhelming and emotionally draining looking after groups of 8 toddlers with no idea how. I had no training either for the job. The work and staff env is hostile which makes me feel even more anxious about raising concerns. My home life environment is also extremely stressful but is something I can't deal with while I'm getting so anxious at work. Ideally, I'd like to leave the job (main anxiety source) and then work out the home situation (secondary source)

I'm freaking out because I'm at the smallest + basic work hours and I'm still struggling. I got my shift changed to only 3 hours - I tried 4 and it was extremely stressful. I know they expect me to cover much longer hours but I can't imagine doing more than 3 hours per day. I am getting anxious and feeling awful about going in each day and I honestly just want to tell the manager I want to leave. It makes me feel horrible, knowing that I can't even manage 3 hours without feeling the strain, whereas my friends can manage 8 hour shifts (in diff jobs tho). And everyone else there has been working there for years and I feel so stupid that it's stressing me out so much. I'm worried they won't let me leave if they are understaffed as well.

There is another job I want but it is just only for the summer. But I know more of the staff there and feel happier in the work environment.

I'm in a probation period so the notice to give is only 2 weeks. I just don't know what to do - I don't know if anyone has ever worked in childcare w toddlers and felt the same?



I'm sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. I can fully relate. I started a new job 2 weeks ago, and on Monday I will be having a chat with our HR department, telling them I need to move posts. I signed up to stay for 3 years, and like yourself, the prospect of working there for another 3 hours brings me out in a cold sweat. Sometimes, you can find yourself in a post, where, even with the best will in the world, it is just a bad fit.

It sounds to me like there are two things at play in your situation. The first one, is your lack of experience. You have no training, and no support, so no wonder you are sinking. If you haven't been taught what to do, you are bound to feel overwhelmed. So - point one - accept that this is not a failing on your part, it is the inevitable result of no training and no experience.

You need to go to your manager, and ask him/her to help you with this. Try and come up with a solution, rather than just going to them with complaints. For example - can you get a bit of on the job training? Can someone mentor you? Are there specific situations that you have difficulty with? Saying to your manager: "I'm struggling, and I need help" means that s/he will then have to step up, and do their job - which is helping you to do yours.

The second point is that when you have a stressful home life, that can enlarge even the smallest stresses elsewhere in your life. So - have you got the work situation in perspective? Is it really as overwhelming as it seems, in and or itself? Or are you going into work, already anxious and stressed out before you even start?

So what are your options here:
(1) ignore it - don't do this. It will only get worse.
(2) tackle it head on - approach your manager, alert him/her of the issues and remain solution focused. Start your sentences with "it would really help me if you could do this for me..." Don't get into blame, and don't speak from the heart. Speak from the head. "I want to do a good job here, and to be able to do that, I need you to..."
(3) if, after you speak to your boss, nothing improves, and you continue to feel like this, then quit. if you have genuinely tried to work things out, and nothing has changed, then there is no harm in walking away.

Remember - don't worry alone. the minute you tell someone your worries, you stop worrying, and start to problem solve.
Good luck!
Original post by idkkkk
Idk what you mean. It gives me good experience for a course I need, but I can get that experience in another job that I am halfway signed up for. The one I already have is more of a fixed contract than the other one which is just a summer temporary job. But I think I can reference that summer job too (hopefully).


You should consider, if something is relevant to your career plans, but you immediately find it too stressful to do for any length of time, whether your career plans are appropriate. Can you be absolutely 100% certain that what caused the stress is absolutely not relevant or going to happen in the career you want?
Reply 5
Original post by threeportdrift
You should consider, if something is relevant to your career plans, but you immediately find it too stressful to do for any length of time, whether your career plans are appropriate. Can you be absolutely 100% certain that what caused the stress is absolutely not relevant or going to happen in the career you want?


I think this job is completely not the career I want for the future. I was just using it for the experience. So i mean, I don't want to work in the childcare sector in terms of working with a large group of children. I want to work 1:1 or 1:2 with children where it is more based on mental health, rather than just managing a play area for children. So I see what you mean but I can only hope that where I want to end up (therapist) is not this same experience (toddler heaven).
Reply 6
Original post by LiyoS
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. I can fully relate. I started a new job 2 weeks ago, and on Monday I will be having a chat with our HR department, telling them I need to move posts. I signed up to stay for 3 years, and like yourself, the prospect of working there for another 3 hours brings me out in a cold sweat. Sometimes, you can find yourself in a post, where, even with the best will in the world, it is just a bad fit.

It sounds to me like there are two things at play in your situation. The first one, is your lack of experience. You have no training, and no support, so no wonder you are sinking. If you haven't been taught what to do, you are bound to feel overwhelmed. So - point one - accept that this is not a failing on your part, it is the inevitable result of no training and no experience.

You need to go to your manager, and ask him/her to help you with this. Try and come up with a solution, rather than just going to them with complaints. For example - can you get a bit of on the job training? Can someone mentor you? Are there specific situations that you have difficulty with? Saying to your manager: "I'm struggling, and I need help" means that s/he will then have to step up, and do their job - which is helping you to do yours.

The second point is that when you have a stressful home life, that can enlarge even the smallest stresses elsewhere in your life. So - have you got the work situation in perspective? Is it really as overwhelming as it seems, in and or itself? Or are you going into work, already anxious and stressed out before you even start?

So what are your options here:
(1) ignore it - don't do this. It will only get worse.
(2) tackle it head on - approach your manager, alert him/her of the issues and remain solution focused. Start your sentences with "it would really help me if you could do this for me..." Don't get into blame, and don't speak from the heart. Speak from the head. "I want to do a good job here, and to be able to do that, I need you to..."
(3) if, after you speak to your boss, nothing improves, and you continue to feel like this, then quit. if you have genuinely tried to work things out, and nothing has changed, then there is no harm in walking away.

Remember - don't worry alone. the minute you tell someone your worries, you stop worrying, and start to problem solve.
Good luck!


Yes, it is complicated :frown: I understand the interaction with home environment. It is just difficult because I have had stressful home life but I was able to enjoy a similar previous job. I was going to speak to my manager and ask them if 3hrs is okay. If it's not, then I was going to tell them I am struggling a lot and am happy to resign because I'm very sure although the contract says 0 hours, they're in charge of my shifts and want to put me on for longer cover shifts. But I can't do more than that. I feel so incompetent. I ideally want to tell them how it is atm, but I keep hearing 'just wait it out, it might get easier' from my friends which means I can't give my notice in just yet e.g. if i have to wait till it gets 'better' before I can make a better judgement. So the longer I wait, the longer I have to work there basically and it just gives me a sense of being trapped when I could be getting more comfortable experience, which freaks me out more :frown:
Original post by idkkkk
Yes, it is complicated :frown: I understand the interaction with home environment. It is just difficult because I have had stressful home life but I was able to enjoy a similar previous job. I was going to speak to my manager and ask them if 3hrs is okay. If it's not, then I was going to tell them I am struggling a lot and am happy to resign because I'm very sure although the contract says 0 hours, they're in charge of my shifts and want to put me on for longer cover shifts. But I can't do more than that. I feel so incompetent. I ideally want to tell them how it is atm, but I keep hearing 'just wait it out, it might get easier' from my friends which means I can't give my notice in just yet e.g. if i have to wait till it gets 'better' before I can make a better judgement. So the longer I wait, the longer I have to work there basically and it just gives me a sense of being trapped when I could be getting more comfortable experience, which freaks me out more :frown:



Yes - your friends are giving you bad advice. Ask yourself this: how will waiting it out make things easier? You have to go in there every day and when you are struggling to get through 3 hours, then something is very wrong. That is a warning sign you need to pay attention to. Things will not magically get better by themselves. Waiting will accomplish nothing. You need to address this.

The minute you address things with your boss, you are moving from internalising them ("I feel so incompetent", "I feel trapped") and getting back control of your own destiny. You are taking the burden off your shoulder and putting it onto the shoulders of your boss. S/he will be aware they have a person who is struggling, and s/he will need to help them.

Don't go and threaten resignation though. You don't want to be viewed as a troublemaker. Go, tomorrow morning, to your boss, and say: "I want to do a good job for you. I'm a person, who, when I make a commitment, I stick with it. However. I'm struggling at the moment, and I really need some support. Here's what I need from you...."
And you have to be clear on what that is. At this stage, do not mention resignation, or walking away, or the prospect of another job. Your focus is purely on raising it with your boss, and getting the help you need.

Your boss may well have no idea how you feel at this stage, so give him/her the chance to provide you with some help. S/he may turn the whole thing round for you, and you'll find yourself in a much better situation. But you need to give them the chance to change things.

If, however, you think your boss can't do anything to change things - e.g. there is something fundamentally wrong with the environment you are working in (it's unsafe; they are asking you to do something unethical; or you realise that the job description is something which you just cannot do, then you need to be upfront and put that on the table. So go to your boss tomorrow and say: "I took this job in good faith, I felt I would be able to do it well, and I now know it just isn't a good fit for me. I'm someone who, when I commit to something, I follow it through. I know it's only been a week, but the fundamentals of the job just aren't compatible with my skill set. I think you deserve someone who can do a good job for your organisation, and I don't think, right now, that's me. I wanted to be honest with you, so you can start recruiting someone else, and of course, I'll be willing to work my notice."
When you are working your notice, you will feel differently. You'll still be going in there, but the clock will be ticking down.

Please, do not just "wait it out". This is a problem which will not solve itself, and the longer you leave it the more trapped and out of control you will feel. Good luck tomorrow with your boss!

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