First of all, I do not want your opinion if you are about to tell me to 'embrace my sexuality' or other bs like that.
Getting to it, I watch porn regularly and I realise this is a sin in itself however I am trying to wean myself off it. My biggest issue is, recently I started watching lesbian porn and I have realised that I get the greates pleasure from watching it. It gives me the most intense of orgasms and makes me *** really quickly in comparison to heterosexual porn. Although this makes me feel good, I feel very guilty and disgusted with myself afterwards. I am from an orthodox Muslim family and cannot begin to imagine how my parents would react if they found out about this. It is not the fear of them finding out that's making me pose this question, but rather genuine disgust with myself.
After watching porn of such a nature I found myself looking for lesbian dating websites and basically trying to arrange something with someone. I really do not want this though because when I look back on this, e.g. now, I feel grossed out and know that it is very wrong. I realise this is all from the devil so please, can someone help me out. Any duaas or something that can help me?
Thanks in advance guys.