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Who's in the wrong here? watch

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    (Original post by buttons_andbeads)
    thanks for the advice
    I told him when he grows up and talks to me, I'll explain etc. Sometimes I worry I'm more like his mum than his girlfriend
    i think we all feel like that at one point or another *goes to pick up boyfriends socks*
    You're doing what I'd do anyway. Which is, of course, always the right decision
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    (Original post by RosiePosiePuddingAndPie)
    Isn't that a bit hypocritical though?
    Not really because he shouldn't of looked through hers either. I personally wouldn't look at m boyfriends and hopefully he wouldn't look at mine because I know that it can cause stupid arguments even though we both trust each other.
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    I dont automatically see theres a problem, he could just still be friends with his ex it does happen.

    I would be angry if my girlfriend looked at my texts too doesnt mean im cheating on her or anything

    And from your reply to him its as if you are trying to get him to admit to cheating
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    i find it hard to believe how few here have considered the possibility that he was reacting to the idea that the OP didn't trust him rather than her being on his phone.

    sure, he messed around on your phone, but that was probably all. it probably sounded like you were going through his texts (which you were) to see if he was cheating on you.
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    I can't believe how ppl have just gone off one at the OP.

    I see nothing wrong in you asking him about it, if you did it the way you described. Also, if you've been together two years there shouldn't really be a problem unless he's a little immature or a drama queen.

    As well as that, if he looks at your phone he is totally out of order. Tell him to go grow up and sort himself out.
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    (Original post by law:portal)
    I can't believe how ppl have just gone off one at the OP.

    I see nothing wrong in you asking him about it, if you did it the way you described. Also, if you've been together two years there shouldn't really be a problem unless he's a little immature or a drama queen.

    As well as that, if he looks at your phone he is totally out of order. Tell him to go grow up and sort himself out.
    haven't you just completely contradicted yourself? :p:
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    haven't you just completely contradicted yourself? :p:
    No, what i was trying to say is that if you remove all other aspects, if he looks at her phone then he is totally out of order for having a go at her if she looks at his, not that he is out of order for looking in the first place.

    Hope you understand what i mean.
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    OTT reactions like that can be hiding guilt. Even if he is just feeling guilty that she text him that at all rather than anything else!
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    (Original post by law:portal)
    No, what i was trying to say is that if you remove all other aspects, if he looks at her phone then he is totally out of order for having a go at her if she looks at his, not that he is out of order for looking in the first place.

    Hope you understand what i mean.
    ah i getcha. that makes much more sense
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    You see THAT'S why I have phonelock, in case you leave it behind, nobody can read your private messages!

    I have tons of old texts from ex's. I'll not delete them as they remind me of good times. Nothing wrong with reminiscing.... Yes you should apologise, then when things have calmed down ask why his reaction was a tad OTT! - If he doesn't explain during the 'making Up' bit himself
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    Personally, I think if a guy has a problem with his girlfriend of two years looking through his phone (especially when he's done it to hers frequently), then he's hiding something. I really don't get the stigma of people who have been together for years looking at each other's emails, phones and so on - my boyfriend has my email passwords, knows my PIN (and looks through my phone) and I know the same things about him, just because I trust him (I didn't deliberately tell him any of that, but it's easier to shout to him to check my email when I'm busy, for instance). I just think people who are worried about that sort of thing are uptight or keeping secrets.
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    I am completely on your side OP. If he looks at your phone, then what's wrong with looking through his. I've been going out with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and if he looked at my phone, I wouldn't think that it was because he didn't trust me, I'd just think he was being nosy, and I know he'd think the same of me.

    There's a difference between looking at his phone every now and then because you're bored, and stalking him on his phone, on facebook, looking through his emails etc. etc.

    It's always a difficult debate, because if you find something... then what can you do? However, if you didn't think that he would have an issue with you looking through his phone, and you weren't doing it because you didn't trust him, then you've done nothing wrong. I think you've dealt with the situation well, and he is completely out of order.

    I mean lets face it, even if you had done it becasue you didn't trust him, and you found an even worse text message, one that could only mean that he had cheated, then he's more in the wong. Cheating on your partner, is so so much worse then looking through their text messages.
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    You're in the wrong for looking, but he obviously has something to hide. By all means, have a wee nosey, but next time, don't let him know where you got the information from!
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    I still think its stupid, 2 wrongs dont make a right.

    My ex looked through my phone once and I was really upset she pretty much accused me of cheating as I had a text from a girl I used to be attracted to before I dated her, so therefore I was cheating etc.

    Really hurt.

    My brothers ex was crazy also when it came to this, it got to the point where he had to put girls names down as guys names in his phone book as she had the impression that any girl he knew he was sleeping with.

    So just because someone gets upset over their phone being seen and they have a text from an ex doesnt = something to hide.
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    I'll never see the issue with reading texts, I'd never go looking for something or expect to find anything amiss. Like the OP, it's just nosiness as I share absolutely everything with my manshape and privacy won't ever be an issue or something I feel I need from him. He gets it all, 100% and I'd not have it any other way.

    If, OP, your boyfriend is the kind who likes his privacy then you need to clarify. He can't go mad at you for something he never told you he was against. It's just daft.
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    Any developments...? (I'm nosey too) :P
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    (Original post by buttons_andbeads)
    Basically I was with my boyfriend on Saturday, he went out with his mates in the evening then came back to stay at mine for the night, and accidentally left his mobile at mine. Now I stayed in because I was ill and had been at work all day, and when he was gone looked at his texts (which maybe I shouldn't have done, but we've been together almost two years and he always plays around on my phone - it's not a trust thing, I'm just nosey )

    So there's this text on his phone from a girl he dated for three years before me saying something like, "when are we going to hang out again? were so good together xxx" I didn't think much of it, but mentioned it to him the next day saying something like "So have you been hanging out with Katie again?" and he COMPLETELY flipped at me for looking at his phone, and was really quite nasty. He then left my house and hasn't spoken to me since, apart from a text today to see how I did in my results

    I trust him completely, but does anyone else think he may have overreacted slightly at this? I didn't insinuate anything about him and his ex, I literally asked out of interest! Opinions on whether I should apologize or what I should do would be nice as I'm completely confused right now :confused:
    I did that once...it was an awkward moment as it was from an ex who said 'the baby's due soon'. You can imagine. It bugged me from a long time...although it turned out it was a lie to get back at him for dumping her, the stupid cow.
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    ide also question maybe why u dont know they even met up! i mean if its not a big deal him meeting his ex surely he would tell you (when u talk about what you did in ure day etc) .. it wouldnt be a big deal if he explained he was going to see her etc...but by not telling you it seems a bit "hmmm..." .. im not suggesting hes unfaithful or annyyythiing like that at all, but i mean if its hte first you've heard of it i think i too would be more on the curious side in wanting to find out more in the first place!..
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    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    Personally, I think if a guy has a problem with his girlfriend of two years looking through his phone (especially when he's done it to hers frequently), then he's hiding something. I really don't get the stigma of people who have been together for years looking at each other's emails, phones and so on - my boyfriend has my email passwords, knows my PIN (and looks through my phone) and I know the same things about him, just because I trust him (I didn't deliberately tell him any of that, but it's easier to shout to him to check my email when I'm busy, for instance). I just think people who are worried about that sort of thing are uptight or keeping secrets.
    My boyfriend and I are the same. I know all of his stuff and he knows mine, again not intentially, just easier as you say.

    @OP - I think if he didn't have anything to hide then he wouldn't have totally flipped. I can't see why he has such an issue if you two have been together for 2 years. But then again I don't know if it was out of character for him. Just see what he says when he talks to you again
 
 
 
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