Clingy Girlfriend

Ok please keep anon or delete :smile:

Basically before Christmas I broke up with my GF of 10 months and at college she gave me a month of hell, crying at me and begging to have me back. Over the holidays she was calling me all the time professing her love but it was just turning me off even more!

All my friends began to hate her and she's even pushed her own friends away by whining to them.

After Christmas I began to miss her and she had seemed to change for the better, so I asked her out again as like, another chance.

Anyway things have been going quite well except last and this week we had two massive arguments and one last night which really annoyed my mum and brother (my girlfriend was actually stamping her feet in the hallway..) and tonight they basically told me to break up with her!

Well, I don't want to do that (because really, things have been good recently) but I do agree with them her attitude can stink and she's far too clingy so I need to make her more independent incase I do break up with her her life isn't shattered all over again!

Any advice?

It felt good just to write this down *Deep breath* :'(

bump?

Urgh. I don't really know the girl but she sounds really annoying. I'd sack her if it were me. Too high maintenance, my friend. People like that will always act a bit mental if you don't give them all the attention in the world no matter how much you try to make her more independant.

Reply 3

FTC199

you clearly dont feel for her what she claims she feels for you, break it to her gently that you dont think your right for each other and hopefully she'll take it gracefully if shes got any self-respect

Reply 4

buttons_andbeads

She sounds extremely immature to be honest.
Have you properly spoken to her about it? Explain that although you really like her she needs to sort her attitude out before you can have a proper/mature relationship.

Reply 5

Dragon24

You need to say 'can you please not throw your temper tantrums in my family's house', what a rude girl she is disturbing your family and causing a scene like that. Give her an ultimatimum to grow up and if she doesn't find someone who is more mature, not worth annoying family and friends over.

Reply 6

RosiePosiePuddingAndPie

Ugh she would really annoy me. I know a couple where the girl is like that - causes arguments, and has to have her own way. She's really quite unpleasant. You say she's changed for the better, but are you comparing her to when she was pestering you all the time?

If you like her, but your family don't, you have a couple of choices really...

1) tell her that she has to act more grown up when around your family, as they find her stamping her feet and things to be immature/irritating/rude and that if she continues, she won't be welcome in your home.

2) don't take her back to your house ever. Then your family won't have to put up with her, but you'll get to see her.

3) break up with her, like your family want. But I don't blame you if you don't want your family to dictate your relationships. I know I wouldn't react well to my faimly telling me to break up with a boyfriend!

Hope that helps a little :smile:

Reply 7

dh00001

tell her if she does it again its over. for good this time. and stand by that

Reply 8

Irrelevance

Morale of the story - never date the same person twice. It'll only end in tears. Especially if YOU finished it

Reply 9

BabyGirl

It isn't up to you to make her more independent!

I know this is gonna sound like weird advice but I think you should break up with her so she'll learn.
Like the heartbreak might help her grow up and use the experience to change herself. By giving her a second chance you're pretty much accepting her behaviour.
Why did you initially break up with her btw?

Ugh I HATE clingyness- it's one thing I can't stand in rships!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I broke up with her initially because it was very 50/50.. half the time was ok and half wasn't and I really wanted it to get better but it just didn't! She constantly made arguments about nothing (my mum always says 'you're the least argumentative person ever.. she's nothing like that!')

I definitely think talking to her will help.
Time for a plan of action!
1: Talk to her about not being so all over me when around my family and friends.
2: Talk to her about respecting my domicile hehe.
3: Next time she tries to get me to do something I don't want to, flat our deny her request (recently she tried to get me to give up smoking my pipe..)
4: If we have another world-war-scale argument I think it's time to end it.

Thanks for your suggestions and ideas.. anyone have any others?

Reply 11

username47781

Clingy is never good in a relationship having experienced this myself. You need to seriously talk to her about it, if she carries on though for your own sake I would get out of it.

Reply 12

Rhiannon-Mae

Talk to her!
And if she doesn't listen or doesn't make an effort to change then end it.

Reply 13

Airel

Keep her.

In your kitchen.

Reply 14

randdom

Talk to he about it. Let her know that the way that she is acting is not acceptable and if she continues to do so then it is going to be a problem.

At the end of the day it isn't your friends choice or your parents choice whether you stay with her and try and make it work it is your choice. Do you care for her/love her and are you willing to put into the effort to make it work as a change won't happen over night. If you don't see a future with this girl it might be worth ending it now so she doesn't get any more hurt than she needs to.

Reply 15

Jozen-Bo

I don't think you will get any answers worth following more then your own heart can provide. Tough situation...really! Does she suck up all your time like a time vampire? If not then she sounds like a keeper, if so...get out of there before she sucks every last mintue of your life away! Ultimately...though, are you happy with her...if so then she is a keeper.

Reply 16

Anamaria90

you smoke a pipe!? ;w00t; that's so cool!

Reply 17

Zoecb

Tell her the truth - ie. that she is too clingy and needs to tone it down, because when she's not being clingy, she's awesome and you like her more.

It's really very simple.

Reply 18

Jessica-Smiles

you need to sit her down and have a heart to heart with her if you really want to stay with her. if you don't then again you need to let her know and move on but if you really feel that it's worth saving then do so. just make sure you're happy. that's the most important thing.