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Anyone feel a lot of the social scene is false?

2

It seems too intense here socially. Does anyone else feel the animation is a bit intense and contrived, and want more relaxed company? It just seems like people push themselves too hard and expect too much socially. It just seems like the amount of energy and tension that goes into it is unnatural.

Reply 1

LeeC

15

Oh yeh definately! A significant number of people go out for a night out thinking that they are performing in a play/think that they are in Skins!

Reply 2

*starry_eyed_*

14

It depends who you're socialising with. There's some people I really feel comfortable wth (ok very few but meh) and it seems real enough. But yeah i know what you mean, its very much about polite conversation, which I dislike.

Reply 3

Sithius

16

Yes. People learn how to act, what to say and when to say it. Just look at facebook, people 'write like this lol with no full stops a lot of the time and abit of bad spelling which is done on purpose i spose'.

It's no different on nights out.

Reply 4

RL99

1

Your post is a bit vague but I think I know what you're getting at...recently I've come to much prefer a more relaxed, civilised environment rather than clubs etc...which is either a consequence of getting older or just realising that I've always been like that but am only just admitting it now.

When you're with a group of lads anyway there's also far too much bravado and BS spouted about 'manning up' and drinking yourself stupid...personally I'd just to prefer to have a good time.

Reply 5

naivesincerity

OP

2

I just mean that the sheer level of animation and liveliness and passion is contrived, unnatural, too stressful for people to actually manage, (some people are talking in a non lucid way, too quickly and just on the edge of their breath if you get me) and just downright silly.
The whole thing seems like keeping up appearances for people who are probably internally dead or more depressed than they make out.

Reply 6

evil groove

It doesn't help that everyone brings along cameras nowadays, so that the next day they can post 'evidence' of their having a 'life' on Fazbook.

Reply 7

mangomaz

14

I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about.... I do think in London for example that the 'trendy club' scene as I call it is nonsense. But then I'm one who just can't see how a night out getting drunk equates as a really good time. I feel like people have persuaded themselves that getting drunk is good.

If you have a good solid group of friends though who are all comfortable with themselves etc then no social scene is false. I have found quite few people who I can experience this with though. There are free spirited, 'real' people out there, you just have to find them. Certain social 'scenes' have these people in high concentration.

Reply 8

mangomaz

14

naivesincerity

I just mean that the sheer level of animation and liveliness and passion is contrived, unnatural, too stressful for people to actually manage, (some people are talking in a non lucid way, too quickly and just on the edge of their breath if you get me) and just downright silly.
The whole thing seems like keeping up appearances for people who are probably internally dead or more depressed than they make out.

Ah ok I see what you mean. And as someone else said, social networking sites contribute a lot to this! I find its all just good fun though and its good for people to be animated. Boring people are... boring. And you can usually tell when someone is being a bit fake about it or are actually quite excited about something I find.

Reply 9

naivesincerity

OP

2

mangomaz

Ah ok I see what you mean. And as someone else said, social networking sites contribute a lot to this! I find its all just good fun though and its good for people to be animated. Boring people are... boring. And you can usually tell when someone is being a bit fake about it or are actually quite excited about something I find.

I must be mixing with the wrong people then, cos my family aren't boring, and I can't be that different to them, so I'm ok on what you might call 'innate' personality. But any further than that, I do find it false and hate it. I genuinely don't have much to say to people.

Reply 10

L i b

19

naivesincerity

I just mean that the sheer level of animation and liveliness and passion is contrived, unnatural, too stressful for people to actually manage, (some people are talking in a non lucid way, too quickly and just on the edge of their breath if you get me) and just downright silly.
The whole thing seems like keeping up appearances for people who are probably internally dead or more depressed than they make out.

I think I see what you're getting at. I went out with a girl who was rather like that actually, although perhaps to a ridiculous degree. Every time she met someone she knew, even if she didn't like him or her (or indeed would be bad-mouthing the said individual to all and sundry in thirty minutes), she'd act as if she was was meeting her best friend after a number of years separation.

All the 'yey'-ness. Eurgh. My friends even mentioned it to me, friends who hadn't known her all that long, and were subjected to it regularly.

I see it regularly though, particularly in my early weeks in halls in first year. Girls especially professing that they 'loved' (in a platonic sense, don't want to get any hearts racing) the 'friends' they'd known for ten days. At the time I assumed that perhaps they simply made closer friendships faster than I did, but now I'm of the opinion that it's absolute fraudulent nonsense forced by a culture that seeks to have everything with neither effort nor problems. I think the same mentality is very evident in your recounting of contrived and unnatural liveliness.

In my old age, I've become far more socially laid-back. I'd far prefer having a few good friends over for dinner than to be placed in the sort of atmosphere where I have to pretend to like my more annoying acquaintances. Equally though, one might say I'm in something of a social rut which I will eventually tire of. Who knows?

Reply 11

naivesincerity

OP

2

In fact, I think I've always been happiest alone.

Reply 12

qubog

12

I get what you mean, OP. In the bar where I work, the difference between day and night is staggering. During the day people come in, have a pint, eat a sandwich, have a chat with friends. At night girls come in downing shots, squealing, tottering around on stilettos etc. and it is exhausting to watch. The men are equally stereotypical, ripping off t-shirts, jumping around to music, fighting, downing pints etc. Why do so many of us spend so much money and sacrifice so much energy and dignity for a few drunken hours in a club with idiots?

Reply 13

DominF

2

I noticed that too, but I don't really associate with people who do it so it doesn't bother me.

Reply 14

*Tinkabell*

6

Schokis

It doesn't help that everyone brings along cameras nowadays, so that the next day they can post 'evidence' of their having a 'life' on Fazbook.

Lol I know! Some people take pictures of absolutely everything they do. It's crazy! And half the time it seems that the more drunk they look in it, the more proud they are of it :rolleyes:

Reply 15

Sithius

16

Yep, one of my friends on facebook has about 750 photos.

Reply 16

bete noire

17

you're all kind of acting like people who aren't you that have fun are "faking it" somehow...

i dont think thats the case

Reply 17

vintage.queen

my flat mates are like that, go out like every night to rubbish clubs that dont even play the music they like. id much prefer to stay in every now and again, get takeaway, few drinks in and hav a good natter or watch a film

Reply 18

Adélaïde

naivesincerity

It seems too intense here socially. Does anyone else feel the animation is a bit intense and contrived, and want more relaxed company? It just seems like people push themselves too hard and expect too much socially. It just seems like the amount of energy and tension that goes into it is unnatural.

Mm, when people try to hard to be friendly it is just embarrassing. I like someone who says what they think and what they want, because you can be relaxed. When people put on false pretenses, it gets quite tense.

Reply 19

Jake22

18

It depends, the friends I spend time with are generally pretty relaxed, there's no pretentions there, we just meet up, go for a pint or whatever and talk rubbish or chat about our lives and interests.

I know what you are getting at though, especially with students. Many seem to buy into the idea that they should be having the best time of their lives and are too anxious to be doing everything they think they should be doing to stop, think and chill the hell out. I'd just ignore it and find compatible people.

Anyone feel a lot of the social scene is false?

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