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Dating a bad texter

The boy I’m dating is a bad texter and I’m continuously doubting whether he truly likes me. I find I’m always afraid he will reject me or not want me anymore and I will end up sabotaging it with my insecurities if i carry on. How do I chill out?
Original post by Anonymous
The boy I’m dating is a bad texter and I’m continuously doubting whether he truly likes me. I find I’m always afraid he will reject me or not want me anymore and I will end up sabotaging it with my insecurities if i carry on. How do I chill out?


Meet up with him and ask him about it. My boyfriend sometimes forgets to text me back, like he will read my message and then get distracted with the movie he is watching and not reply for another hour until the movie is over, and not even realise he's done it. I just told him "hey do you mind not doing that as it makes me anxious that I'm being boring or you don't really want to text me" and now he is really good at replying and texting.

Communication makes a world of difference.
Have this problem myself actually haha. It is very difficult to read guys based on text, sometimes texting habits is based on how much they like you/where they want the relationship to hear to and sometimes it is unrelated

I personally would hate to date a bad texter
Omg yes the struggle is real. I have no idea what to do about it because I feel like it'll just annoy him if I mention it, or he just wouldn't care enough to change his habits. But yeah it always makes me doubt whether he really likes me or not
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
The boy I’m dating is a bad texter and I’m continuously doubting whether he truly likes me. I find I’m always afraid he will reject me or not want me anymore and I will end up sabotaging it with my insecurities if i carry on. How do I chill out?


Original post by Anonymous
Have this problem myself actually haha. It is very difficult to read guys based on text, sometimes texting habits is based on how much they like you/where they want the relationship to hear to and sometimes it is unrelated

I personally would hate to date a bad texter


Original post by Anonymous
Omg yes the struggle is real. I have no idea what to do about it because I feel like it'll just annoy him if I mention it, or he just wouldn't care enough to change his habits. But yeah it always makes me doubt whether he really likes me or not


What's all y'all shadow-people's definitions of a bad texter?
Original post by Sataris
What's all y'all shadow-people's definitions of a bad texter?


Yeah exactly, what do people even mean by that?
In my opinion, taking 3+ hours to reply to something that can be quickly replied too. Doesn't need to end up being a constant back and forth messaging convo but if they take a long time I would assume that they are not interested. I would like to think that whoever I am dating has enough interest and put me in some sort of priority in the first place to reply somewhat promptly.

Does that sound reasonable? Curious about other people's opinions.
For me it's someone who is super unpredictable when texting, like sometimes they'll reply right away and other times they'll read a message and not reply for a few days. Basically someone who's a bit flaky and you're always kind of afraid that they're going to ghost you at any time (I honestly think that's just me overthinking and being paranoid though). I can handle waiting hours for a text, but when it happens really often I just feel like we're wasting each other's time.

Of course I know that life doesn't revolve around texting and being on your phone, but it does really make me question whether they're truly interested if they don't seem engaged in talking to me, or it seems like it's a hassle for them. The opposite is also annoying though, where someone is super clingy and get annoyed if you don't reply within like 2 hours. I feel like you need to strike a balance between the two.
Reply 8
It depends what you mean by a bad texter.

Some people find it hard to communicate via text. Chemistry over text is very different to chemistry in real life. You should aim to meet more often so you don't bore each other with texts.

If he's bad at communicating in real life as well then you're simply not compatible.
Depending on what you class as a 'bad texter' if he seems blunt, you could be reading it the wrong way as texting is hard to get jokes or sarcasm over as their isn't an emotion or a voice to hear. Just talk to him.
Original post by Anonymous
In my opinion, taking 3+ hours to reply to something that can be quickly replied too. Doesn't need to end up being a constant back and forth messaging convo but if they take a long time I would assume that they are not interested. I would like to think that whoever I am dating has enough interest and put me in some sort of priority in the first place to reply somewhat promptly.

Does that sound reasonable? Curious about other people's opinions.


Sounds pretty reasonable to me. Would you feel different between these situations:

A: The person takes 3+ hours to respond to you, but replies to other people in the meantime

B: The person takes 3+ hours to respond to you, but they do not message anyone else in the meantime
My question is, if you really liked someone, wouldn't you be quite keen to reply? (unless of course the text requires a bit of thought)

Personally, I would reply within the hour if I like them but take 1+ hours for other people (if non-urgent)
Not everyone is glued to their phones. I sometimes my time because it's not practical to reply right now. It's not because I don't like you; it's because I'm too busy to reply right now.

Talk to him if you're that bothered.
Original post by Anonymous
For me it's someone who is super unpredictable when texting, like sometimes they'll reply right away and other times they'll read a message and not reply for a few days. Basically someone who's a bit flaky and you're always kind of afraid that they're going to ghost you at any time (I honestly think that's just me overthinking and being paranoid though). I can handle waiting hours for a text, but when it happens really often I just feel like we're wasting each other's time.

Of course I know that life doesn't revolve around texting and being on your phone, but it does really make me question whether they're truly interested if they don't seem engaged in talking to me, or it seems like it's a hassle for them. The opposite is also annoying though, where someone is super clingy and get annoyed if you don't reply within like 2 hours. I feel like you need to strike a balance between the two.


I totally agree with this
Not everybody is on their phone 24/7. I have gone weeks at a time without looking at mine,
Original post by Anonymous
I totally agree with this


Mate, (who is a girl or whatever), if the guy is proper interested then he will reply asap.
Why would they not reply instantly ? There's not really a genuine excuse if they read your message (which it shows) and don't reply after haha.
But people are strange and I mean even girls do this a lot. It confuses the heck out of me

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