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(edited 13 years ago)
Why don't you see a counsellor? Surely there is some at your uni. Or call nightline, that way it's annonymous.
Don't feel weak at all, I find it's often the strong people who worry about that.
I really hope you're ok and you made it through last time, so you can do it again
Don't feel weak at all, I find it's often the strong people who worry about that.
I really hope you're ok and you made it through last time, so you can do it again
Hi, you won't know me I expect, but I did follow your other thread. [congrats on your handling of that]
As for this, I think that you should find someone to talk to. Someone like the Samaritans or any other kind of helpline like that. They won't have any reason to want to hurt you, and you can vent all your anger and frustration out in confidence.
When you feel you're ready try talking to one or maybe two people at a time. I know its hard to trust, but just take it at the pace you feel comfortable with and things will improve.
As for your abcess, I think you should try and really force yourself to go to the dentist, you don't want to get blood poisoning or soemthing. Explain your anxiety about the procedure to the dentist, they will understand.
Time is the best healer. You can do it mate.
As for this, I think that you should find someone to talk to. Someone like the Samaritans or any other kind of helpline like that. They won't have any reason to want to hurt you, and you can vent all your anger and frustration out in confidence.
When you feel you're ready try talking to one or maybe two people at a time. I know its hard to trust, but just take it at the pace you feel comfortable with and things will improve.
As for your abcess, I think you should try and really force yourself to go to the dentist, you don't want to get blood poisoning or soemthing. Explain your anxiety about the procedure to the dentist, they will understand.
Time is the best healer. You can do it mate.
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(edited 13 years ago)
I think you should check out this link
http://galadarling.com/article/eft
It may come accross as a bit weird, but then almost everything I'm doing for my health at the moment is weird -I'm attemping to be a raw vegan foodie for example.
This EFT -or emotional freedom technique is what has helped me most. I normally just shut down, ignore my feelings and don't let myself even acknowledge them, and it usually means spending weeks just drifting with little real input into my life.
However, it did mean that when I eventually tried this, and when it worked for me, I cried for about 3 hours about everything I'd never let myself even feel before. I was distraught over what I was doing with my life as well, which was basically nothing anyway even though I was doing all the normal things, like attending sixth form, part-time job etc. It's a risk that you'll think I'm a wacko but I want to help .
http://galadarling.com/article/eft
It may come accross as a bit weird, but then almost everything I'm doing for my health at the moment is weird -I'm attemping to be a raw vegan foodie for example.
This EFT -or emotional freedom technique is what has helped me most. I normally just shut down, ignore my feelings and don't let myself even acknowledge them, and it usually means spending weeks just drifting with little real input into my life.
However, it did mean that when I eventually tried this, and when it worked for me, I cried for about 3 hours about everything I'd never let myself even feel before. I was distraught over what I was doing with my life as well, which was basically nothing anyway even though I was doing all the normal things, like attending sixth form, part-time job etc. It's a risk that you'll think I'm a wacko but I want to help .
That EFT does sound interesting, but I'm pretty sceptical about it.
If it's going to be a tl;dr, then the least you can do is have a summary at the bottom of your post for the lazy among us.
I hope we both agree that you're doing this to yourself. Thus, the only one who will able to bring you back out of this mental situation is yourself. From reading that post, i seem to think that the things that have happened to you seem to have created a sense of paranoia and that in itself creates a barrier in your head. You stop believing that you can be helped and the barrier is enforced in your brain everytime you think about it. The way forward is for YOU to remove that barrier and either try to fix the problem inside that wall or allow others to help you fix it.
Considering your current state, it may be hard to do what i'm about to suggest but it is worth trying and i believe you will be able to pull through. From your posts, i can tell that you are able to imagine the exteme, which is bad if the imagination is bad for you, but will be good if you feel as strongly about positive thoughts as you do those negative ones. So what you must do:
Each time you imagine these fears, also imagine the alternative of what will happen. The easy way is to think of the OPPOSITE of what will happen. Instead of pulling out a knife to attack you, the person may have a flower hidden in their pocket to give to you. You may have had a bad past at the age of 13-16 but try thinking back before that of the good things you've had in life. Instead of thinking that the therapists will not be able to help you, IMAGINE what it would be like if they actually succeeded. You'd be eating, you'd be able to go out with family and friends again, you'd be laughing in the theatre...anything you'd want in an ideal happy life. Each time you think of the opposite of what you're thinking, write it down, read it outloud manytimes to yourself.
It starts with the initial effort, by coming here to share with us this, you show us that you do care of what will happen to you. Deep inside you are hoping that one of us will be able to help you. A part of YOU wants this torment to end and for you to recover. Let that part come out.
Considering your current state, it may be hard to do what i'm about to suggest but it is worth trying and i believe you will be able to pull through. From your posts, i can tell that you are able to imagine the exteme, which is bad if the imagination is bad for you, but will be good if you feel as strongly about positive thoughts as you do those negative ones. So what you must do:
Each time you imagine these fears, also imagine the alternative of what will happen. The easy way is to think of the OPPOSITE of what will happen. Instead of pulling out a knife to attack you, the person may have a flower hidden in their pocket to give to you. You may have had a bad past at the age of 13-16 but try thinking back before that of the good things you've had in life. Instead of thinking that the therapists will not be able to help you, IMAGINE what it would be like if they actually succeeded. You'd be eating, you'd be able to go out with family and friends again, you'd be laughing in the theatre...anything you'd want in an ideal happy life. Each time you think of the opposite of what you're thinking, write it down, read it outloud manytimes to yourself.
It starts with the initial effort, by coming here to share with us this, you show us that you do care of what will happen to you. Deep inside you are hoping that one of us will be able to help you. A part of YOU wants this torment to end and for you to recover. Let that part come out.
You've got the 31st of March to look forward to. Reading ticket to see rage.....
or Leeds (spit)
or Leeds (spit)
At least you're asking for help. Sure we aren't psychiatrists, but it's a good first step!
If that a-hole ex flatmate of yours was the recent cause of your current mental state, then.. damn.. I hope you pursue with getting him caught and so that he gets what he deserves, the pig.
I know you said councellors would be a waste of time, but it really depends on who it is. I've seen a few councellors in my time regarding various things like parents divorce, feeling depressed when I had to live at uni away from home, etc and some were just awful.
They did, as you mentioned, the whole nod their head and hardly give any advice. Though one, went through realistic actions I could take to change how I was feeling and the things in my life to make it better. Now I feel much better, thanks to her pretty good advice.
You should try one more time with a uni councellor, making sure it's a different one to the ones you've seen already and that they're fully qualified and not practicing students who need the experience.
How long have you been living in this new place? Try and make an bigger effort with your new housemates, you might find you do click after all. Try and get together for uni bar night (if you guys have them over there), have a meal together, have all of you go out on a Saturday night so you can have a drink, have fun, get to know each other better, etc. Or just watch TV together or something. Ask questions about them (people love to talk about themselves! I'm guilty of that, haha) and they'll probably go on for ages.
Just know that no one is out to get you. Don't let a couple of heartless selfish losers make you believe there aren't good people in the world. You have heaps to live for, you have your friends, your family, your degree, the rest of your life to live for, so get out of that 'life sucks' mindset.
Get some friends together (if you'll feel safer in a group, a group who you know will protect you) and go out somewhere, if you have a great time, you'll find you want to keep doing that and that sitting in your room by yourself doing nothing was a waste of time!
Also, try and eat SOMETHING. Doesn't have to be uber gourmet, but try and get some filling food into you! Rice and grilled chicken or a banana or something!
i don't really have much to say, but i feel pretty awful for you.
*hug*
i know it's **** growing up, well troubled, and people betraying you, especially like that.
but the world isn't all bad. at all.
*hug*
*hug*
i know it's **** growing up, well troubled, and people betraying you, especially like that.
but the world isn't all bad. at all.
*hug*
Another thing is that I feel I made a hasty decision moving flats. I know I didn't want to live with someone who stole from me, and I just wanted him out, but I feel I made a mistake moving. My new flatmates are nice enough, but the kitchen really isn't in a good state and I don't feel I "click" with any of them, whereas I was really good friends with one of my old flatmates. I just don't find it fair at all how I was the one who moved when it should have been the guy who stole from me. I am seeing the Director of Student Support (I believe he manages Halls, too) on Monday, to give him the full story, so maybe something will come of that...
I think its very unfair that you've had to uproot yourself and move from where you were originally happy because of this bloke. Of course, its not the people who you moved in with's fault, they'll naturally be a bit colder as they don't know you so well. I think you should complain to this Director about how the bloke has been essentially unpunished, whereas you have gone through all the hassle of being put in with people you don't know. I'm surprised he wasn't booted out of uni as soon as you proved it, why is he still there.
I still have 2 essays to write due Thursday that I've been unable to start as I just haven't had the will or capacity to properly look at the questions, and that is just driving me mad, too. I guess I can try and get extensions on them, given my circumstances, but it's still annoying.
Yes don't worry yourself with a whole multitude of things to do, its your well-being that should and must always come first. Firstly, see if there's anyway of getting the other evicted and you re-instated to where you felt most comfortable. Then really try to trust other people... start small and don't do anything your not comfortable with.
Also, have you eaten yet? you should really try to just eat or even drink something so you don't collapse. I appreciate its easy for me to say this, being at the other end of the country and all, but you just have to really force yourself to do these things.
I know you said you'd rather talk to a girl, but you can always PM me if you want.
Take care of yourself.
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(edited 13 years ago)
AsphyxiateD
I'm not going to Reading/Leeds :/
That bad is it.
Hi,
You talked to me on the Social Anxiety? thread so I wish I could say something helpful. I think you should tell someone at the university like a counsellor. Now your dentist knows that you are nervous, hopefully they can come up with something to help you like sedation or maybe you could even go to someone who specialises in nervous patients? I don't know what to say about the room mate situation as it's something I haven't experienced myself but you seem like a mature, strong person so I think you'll be fine. Just hang in there and once you get to know your room mates better, you could even tell them how you feel? It might make you closer. Good luck x x
You talked to me on the Social Anxiety? thread so I wish I could say something helpful. I think you should tell someone at the university like a counsellor. Now your dentist knows that you are nervous, hopefully they can come up with something to help you like sedation or maybe you could even go to someone who specialises in nervous patients? I don't know what to say about the room mate situation as it's something I haven't experienced myself but you seem like a mature, strong person so I think you'll be fine. Just hang in there and once you get to know your room mates better, you could even tell them how you feel? It might make you closer. Good luck x x
I think the best thing you can do is talk to people right now. Whether it's a counsellor, a person in college, a distant relative or even a stranger on the Internet (careful with that though 
).
I know it probably won't help, but all I can tell you is not to lose hope.
Life IS a wonderful thing, and I assure you that there are wonderful people in it.
Unfortunately, you picked the short straw when it comes to nice people. Doesn't mean they are not out there.
I made a new friend a few months ago - very similar to you. Thinks life is crap, and that love is a lie. He's been bullied, mugged, beaten etc more times than he can count. He has a lock on his bag, and used to wear a stab-proof vest.
Through the last few months however, things have been looking up.
Just hang on yeah
The good thing about being at the bottom is that the only way is up...
).I know it probably won't help, but all I can tell you is not to lose hope.
Life IS a wonderful thing, and I assure you that there are wonderful people in it.
Unfortunately, you picked the short straw when it comes to nice people. Doesn't mean they are not out there.
I made a new friend a few months ago - very similar to you. Thinks life is crap, and that love is a lie. He's been bullied, mugged, beaten etc more times than he can count. He has a lock on his bag, and used to wear a stab-proof vest.
Through the last few months however, things have been looking up.
Just hang on yeah
The good thing about being at the bottom is that the only way is up...
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