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Depression, anxiety, nihilism or existentialism? watch

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    Or are they any different really? I’m a long sufferer of depression and anxiety, and I’ve had anorexia and other conditions, though rationally (when I’m in a good or bad place) I think the thought behind all these conditions is rational.

    There’s no meaning in the world and we might just be a byproduct of some process that thinks itself a conscious entity. We seem like vectors, predestined to run our course and luck plays a big part of that. I am very intense when speaking with people, which is detrimental to my relationships.

    I can’t see why people run around trying to be busy—or I can—I try and do it too. It’s not just a sign of success—it means we’re distracted from the void.

    Life feels like a video game, and when I most enjoy it, I feel a suspended sense of disbelief. When I again become conscious of the meaningless of everything I cease to be immersed in the game, and cease to enjoy it.

    Is there any remedy to this? No therapist can provide a meaning where there isn’t own.
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    Nihilism isn't necessarily negative, the lack of a reason for existence can be viewed as the ultimate freedom to do as you please.
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    (Original post by dab4jesus420)
    Nihilism isn't necessarily negative, the lack of a reason for existence can be viewed as the ultimate freedom to do as you please.
    I suppose I vary in my response to it. I do live life as I please in quite an unconventional way—I’m working towards a dream job and I take risks to get there. But my thoughts are wavering, as I assume most people’s are. Sometimes I wake up wondering why I do what I do when life is meaningless. At other times I feel more immersed in the video game.

    People like Sylvia Plath seems to waver a lot—she’d start a family, put time and energy into creating a novel and poetry and writing op-eds—then one day I suppose her own reasons for living didn’t do it for her anymore and she killed herself. I likely wouldn’t go there even when I’m at my most desperate, mainly for fear of pain and curiosity regarding what the game might do next.
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    relatable. I find it odd people are obsessed with having meaningless conversations about **** just to be popular. the whole notion of needing people seems weird. kinda lost the energy to do that & I'm not even depressed or anything
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    relatable. I find it odd people are obsessed with having meaningless conversations about **** just to be popular. the whole notion of needing people seems weird. kinda lost the energy to do that & I'm not even depressed or anything
    I get that too. I remember years ago at uni I’d appear at a society, see how cliquey it was and slowly edge away. It sounds judgemental, but I’d often think “what losers needing to hang out together in a group and talk about nothing.” They would probably think the same about me for being a loner. I don’t have much energy anymore for anything, which is often regarded as depression. Hard to differentiate between depression and nihilism or existentialism though.
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    Create your own meaning.
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    (Original post by SamMed)
    Create your own meaning.
    I do, but there’s only so long I can believe in my own meaning.
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    Anyone else with this? What can be done or days where there are few distractions?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone else with this? What can be done or days where there are few distractions?
    what do you mean?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what do you mean?
    *what can be done on days where are no distractions

    Writing on my phone.
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    With my anxiety my main symptom is derealisation, where I basically think that the world around me isn't real, and I find it hard to process sensory information sometimes (so no loud concerts or parties for me haha). It's basically a really extreme kind of intrusive though, so think about the existence and meaning of the world a lot (at least twice a day for the past three years), and I've come to two conclusions.

    One, the chance of being alive is basically nothing. Whether we're really here or in a simulation, or it's just me and God, or just me, whatever it is, the chance of being able to experience it is probably so slim that it's too precious to be wasted. Like if we're really here then it's ****ing crazy that we even get to be alive how we are, so I try to hang on to that and make the most of it.

    Two, the whole thing with existentialism and there being no inherent meaning to life is that you get to create your own meaning. With the first point in mind, the meaning I give my life it to learn as much about the world around me as possible. That means I go through the steps that will help me do that, e.g taking care of my self, being kind and empathetic towards others, which in turn helps with my mental health and make all that existential dread a little less overwhelming.

    Also with nihilism and feeling out of control of your life, you've sort of got to put a positive spin on it. Like yeah, we're all gonna die and nothing matters, so I'm gonna ask that girl out, or buy that new shirt, or leave my life behind and move to Australia to become a pure-bred sheep farmer. Whenever you ask 'Why should I do this if we're all gonna die?' you can equally ask 'Why not?'
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    (Original post by crocodile_ears)
    With my anxiety my main symptom is derealisation, where I basically think that the world around me isn't real, and I find it hard to process sensory information sometimes (so no loud concerts or parties for me haha). It's basically a really extreme kind of intrusive though, so think about the existence and meaning of the world a lot (at least twice a day for the past three years), and I've come to two conclusions.

    One, the chance of being alive is basically nothing. Whether we're really here or in a simulation, or it's just me and God, or just me, whatever it is, the chance of being able to experience it is probably so slim that it's too precious to be wasted. Like if we're really here then it's ****ing crazy that we even get to be alive how we are, so I try to hang on to that and make the most of it.

    Two, the whole thing with existentialism and there being no inherent meaning to life is that you get to create your own meaning. With the first point in mind, the meaning I give my life it to learn as much about the world around me as possible. That means I go through the steps that will help me do that, e.g taking care of my self, being kind and empathetic towards others, which in turn helps with my mental health and make all that existential dread a little less overwhelming.

    Also with nihilism and feeling out of control of your life, you've sort of got to put a positive spin on it. Like yeah, we're all gonna die and nothing matters, so I'm gonna ask that girl out, or buy that new shirt, or leave my life behind and move to Australia to become a pure-bred sheep farmer. Whenever you ask 'Why should I do this if we're all gonna die?' you can equally ask 'Why not?'
    I get that, and sometimes that’s my frame of mind too. I also strangely have severe anxiety which sometimes manifests as social anxiety—
    I don’t know why this exists considering I feel so existentialist/nihilistic. Maybe it’s purely chemical. But even as a nihilist, I can’t always use it to attain freedom. Though I have made life choices rashly where it feels like pressing a button.

    By create your own meaning, I don’t know what people really mean. I find happiness in moments where I feel immersed in the game/simulation/whatever you like to call it—then I feel really happy with my husband who has been a best friend for 8 years, with my goals. But my own personal goals seem like mere distractions on days of lucidity where I feel all I’m doing is running around in circles chasing my own tail and other people’s and trying to pretend it means something.

    I feel very compassionate towards animals—I’ll likely end up adopting all the animals in a shelter one day. For some reason I care about animals more than I do about people. I am however very empathetic. As for volunteering and hoping to help people, I worry sometimes that that too can become a sort of ego enhancer—the bigger one’s ego, the worse we feel when we fall down.
    I think very little of what we do is truly for other people. It’s about how good we feel about ourselves.

    I suppose I do read a lot and explore a lot. I’ve been obsessively reading recently (200+ books a year). I’m okay so long as I’m immersed in the story—when it ends I feel empty. Then onto the next story. I think the only things we have in the world are stories, including the ones we make for ourselves about ourselves (our culture, our identity, our history etc). I suppose that can be my only meaning—to create stories and immerse myself in stories...
 
 
 
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