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When should a guy tell you about his mental health? watch

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    Assume you're dating a guy who has some mental health problem. Mental health problems are rarely readily apparent so if he doesn't let you know about it, you probably won't know - at least not until you've known him for a long time.

    When would you think is the best time to let you know about it? I usually let them know from the very first date but I am being told that this will probably put her off . Which is discouraging because I don't wanna hide or appear to be ashamed about it 'cos I don't have a reason to be.

    I suffer from moderate depression and generalised anxiety disorder but this question is relevant for people with all forms of mh problems.
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    I think that you should let them know whenever you are ready. If you want to tell them on the first date tell them and if they are not supportive then they are not the right person for you- your right you have no need to be ashamed 😊
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    (Original post by mollie241)
    I think that you should let them know whenever you are ready. If you want to tell them on the first date tell them and if they are not supportive then they are not the right person for you- your right you have no need to be ashamed 😊
    I am ashamed that I am asking for advice on this issue but yeah this has been my thinking all along. Thx :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am ashamed that I am asking for advice on this issue but yeah this has been my thinking all along. Thx :P
    Don’t be ashamed! It’s good to ask for advice when you are not 100% sure on something 😊
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    You should never reveal something like that to a woman. Opening up to women doesn't deepen the bond, it makes them lose attraction for you.

    If you want emotional support you should be getting that from your mates, not women.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Assume you're dating a guy who has some mental health problem. Mental health problems are rarely readily apparent so if he doesn't let you know about it, you probably won't know - at least not until you've known him for a long time.

    When would you think is the best time to let you know about it? I usually let them know from the very first date but I am being told that this will probably put her off . Which is discouraging because I don't wanna hide or appear to be ashamed about it 'cos I don't have a reason to be.

    I suffer from moderate depression and generalised anxiety disorder but this question is relevant for people with all forms of mh problems.
    The best time is whenever they are ready to, whether that's date 1 or date 15. It's a very personal and private thing, and some people may not want to tell anyone until they know that they will be in their life for more than a month or two.
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    (Original post by ilem)
    You should never reveal something like that to a woman. Opening up to women doesn't deepen the bond, it makes them lose attraction for you.
    She will find out about it sooner or later. I take antidepressants and I see a psychiatrist. What am I supposed to do if she asks me what are those pills or where were u? lie?
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    (Original post by ilem)
    You should never reveal something like that to a woman. Opening up to women doesn't deepen the bond, it makes them lose attraction for you.

    If you want emotional support you should be getting that from your mates, not women.
    If a women truly wants a relationship with that man that she would be happy about the fact that he wants to open up to her as a lot of men find it hard to open up in-front of their girlfriends. I believe that it definitely deepens the bond.Why should a man keep his mental health from woman and pretend he is okay when he is not?? We should get emotional support from anyone who is kind enough to support us not just our mates. Yes dating someone with mental health may be harder than dating someone without it but if you truly want to be in a relationship with that person then you will love and support them no matter what.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    The best time is whenever they are ready to, whether that's date 1 or date 15. It's a very personal and private thing, and some people may not want to tell anyone until they know that they will be in their life for more than a month or two.
    I am more worried about how the other person is going to respond rather than when will I be ready to tell them. I personally want to let them know early on. My question is whether there's such a thing as "too" early? I don't wanna scare them off.
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    There can never be a fixed 'X days/dates/months' answer

    The best advice I can give is this:

    Look for the transition between dating/seeing someone, and forming a relationship. Its a bit subjective, but most people can tell when it happens. Its the difference between being single, but going on a few dates, and being his boyfriend/her girlfriend... its when you start to make plans together, holidays together, arrangements start to be made for both of you, and people assume you will come together etc. etc.

    For me, the time when you need to talk about serious things, is when your going through that transition, preferably just before. You have dated enough, played around enough to know that you both think this might work.. then you mention any serious complications.

    If you talk about it during dating/getting to know each other - the other person does not have enough commitment/feelings for you, and it will likely scare them away... if you say it after you are more official, they can feel cheated and lied to.

    So look for the time, just when things are starting to get a bit commited, and then talk about everything properly.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am more worried about how the other person is going to respond rather than when will I be ready to tell them. I personally want to let them know early on. My question is whether there's such a thing as "too" early? I don't wanna scare them off.
    That's entirely impossible to say. What scares off one person won't scare off another. There's no such thing as too early, or too late etc. You tell them whenever you want to. If they don't like it, then they clearly aren't the one you should be with. If they're good with it, then maybe there's a future relationship there. If you want to tell them on date 1, then go for it.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    That's entirely impossible to say. What scares off one person won't scare off another. There's no such thing as too early, or too late etc. You tell them whenever you want to. If they don't like it, then they clearly aren't the one you should be with. If they're good with it, then maybe there's a future relationship there. If you want to tell them on date 1, then go for it.
    True, there's no set response I ought to expect. Thread is fail I guess.
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    (Original post by mollie241)
    If a women truly wants a relationship with that man that she would be happy about the fact that he wants to open up to her as a lot of men find it hard to open up in-front of their girlfriends. I believe that it definitely deepens the bond.Why should a man keep his mental health from woman and pretend he is okay when he is not?? We should get emotional support from anyone who is kind enough to support us not just our mates. Yes dating someone with mental health may be harder than dating someone without it but if you truly want to be in a relationship with that person then you will love and support them no matter what.
    I'm not talking about what should be, I'm talking about what actually happens when a man reveals his weaknesses to his partner. And what happens in reality is an immediate loss of attraction.
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    To reveal delicate things like your mental condition, a woman must have been treating you special. Youcan easily feels that. In that case, there's a possibility that she can accept you.
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    (Original post by ilem)
    I'm not talking about what should be, I'm talking about what actually happens when a man reveals his weaknesses to his partner. And what happens in reality is an immediate loss of attraction.
    If that is what happens when he tells the woman then she is not the woman he should be with. For some women, when finding out a man has mental health, they will not lose attraction. Mental health is not a weakness in fact people with mental health are some of the strongest people I know.They go through a battle each day and each day makes them stronger. If the woman truly wants to be with that man then no attraction will be lost we she learns of his mental health if the attraction is lost then she is not meant to be with is man.
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