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I’m really struggling with being single again. watch

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    My ex and I were together for 9 months and we broke up a couple of months ago because parts of the relationship didn’t work out. I knew this, and ultimately breaking up was the best decision for us both. However I’m really struggling with no longer receiving the love and affection.

    My ex boyfriend was a really loving person, and would constantly compliment me, buy me things (even though I would insist he didn’t), do me big favours and hug me and listen to me when I was upset, and protect me. No longer having any of that is really getting to me.

    I’m not close with my family, and it makes my friends uncomfortable when I’m upset. I don’t really like myself as a person which makes it worse.

    I want to be his friend, but I don’t know if that would be a good idea because we might just end up getting back together. And maybe we could work things out better, but then again I might have to go through this pain all over again.

    I’m seeking counselling, but wondering if anyone has additional advice about coping alone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex and I were together for 9 months and we broke up a couple of months ago because parts of the relationship didn’t work out. I knew this, and ultimately breaking up was the best decision for us both. However I’m really struggling with no longer receiving the love and affection.

    My ex boyfriend was a really loving person, and would constantly compliment me, buy me things (even though I would insist he didn’t), do me big favours and hug me and listen to me when I was upset, and protect me. No longer having any of that is really getting to me.

    I’m not close with my family, and it makes my friends uncomfortable when I’m upset. I don’t really like myself as a person which makes it worse.

    I want to be his friend, but I don’t know if that would be a good idea because we might just end up getting back together. And maybe we could work things out better, but then again I might have to go through this pain all over again.

    I’m seeking counselling, but wondering if anyone has additional advice about coping alone.

    If you wnat to heal then stay away from him and rcover on your own.

    You need to learn to like yourself and become your own support system. That is self esteem. once you build confidence and a single social life up then you will think a lot less about the other and be in a much better position to attract a miore suitable partner. You should be focusing on exams right now.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If you wnat to heal then stay away from him and rcover on your own.

    You need to learn to like yourself and become your own support system. That is self esteem. once you build confidence and a single social life up then you will think a lot less about the other and be in a much better position to attract a miore suitable partner. You should be focusing on exams right now.
    Thank you, I don’t want to be subconsciously waiting for him to message me. And yeah, I need to build up my self esteem 100%.

    And I don’t have exams.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, I don’t want to be subconsciously waiting for him to message me. And yeah, I need to build up my self esteem 100%.

    And I don’t have exams.
    You just need to develop yourself, then you will become less needy and then things like this wont throw you into a spon. he isnt the answer and it will be a backwards step for you if you are interested in getting better. believe you deserve more and there are better people oit there for ylou who cna make you feel even more contented.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You just need to develop yourself, then you will become less needy and then things like this wont throw you into a spon. he isnt the answer and it will be a backwards step for you if you are interested in getting better. believe you deserve more and there are better people oit there for ylou who cna make you feel even more contented.
    This is true. The fact I’ve had abundant amounts of free time certainly hasn’t helped the situation, but luckily I’m starting work tomorrow.
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    Stop smashing that hand for a start
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    (Original post by adamantacademic)
    Stop smashing that hand for a start
    What?
    • #2
    #2

    Don't be friends with him until you're over him and have enough of your own life. Otherwise you'll become obsessed with him. I've struggled with breakups as well and for me the things that helped were:
    - keeping busy with friends and family
    - travelling to different places (even if it's just another city in the UK)
    - either venting on TSR or simply writing down everything in my notes app on my phone. writing it all out really helps you process things and stops it going round and round in your head
    - make a conscious effort not to check his instagram/snapchat stories. you don't need to know everything that's going on in his life, it'll probably make you feel worse
    - honestly tinder helped quite a lot in my most recent. it made me realise that I could have a good connection with lots of other boys. it's easy to think your ex was perfect and you'll never meet anyone who can make you feel the same way but it really isn't hard to build that connection with a new person. even if you don't want to meet or date anyone, it can be a good distraction.
    - find a new tv series to occupy yourself and become obsessed with
    - work on self improvement - working out, eating healthier, switching up your clothes, making a bit of money, reading interesting books.
    - if I'm feeling lonely it can help if I just get out of the house and be around the general public so I'll just go to the shops/supermarket and being around other people makes me feel like I'm socialising for the day
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't be friends with him until you're over him and have enough of your own life. Otherwise you'll become obsessed with him. I've struggled with breakups as well and for me the things that helped were:
    - keeping busy with friends and family
    - travelling to different places (even if it's just another city in the UK)
    - either venting on TSR or simply writing down everything in my notes app on my phone. writing it all out really helps you process things and stops it going round and round in your head
    - make a conscious effort not to check his instagram/snapchat stories. you don't need to know everything that's going on in his life, it'll probably make you feel worse
    - honestly tinder helped quite a lot in my most recent. it made me realise that I could have a good connection with lots of other boys. it's easy to think your ex was perfect and you'll never meet anyone who can make you feel the same way but it really isn't hard to build that connection with a new person. even if you don't want to meet or date anyone, it can be a good distraction.
    - find a new tv series to occupy yourself and become obsessed with
    - work on self improvement - working out, eating healthier, switching up your clothes, making a bit of money, reading interesting books.
    - if I'm feeling lonely it can help if I just get out of the house and be around the general public so I'll just go to the shops/supermarket and being around other people makes me feel like I'm socialising for the day
    Thanks, there’s a part of me that just wants to get back together with him, but I don’t want to pine for him if he never gets back together with me; getting over him is the most sensible idea.

    All these ideas are good as they would keep me busy.
 
 
 
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