Trying to help a friend?

I would feel the same way if I was you! The age gap isn’t weird when both people are adults but I feel like when you’re a teenager and seeing someone much older it can be a worry sometimes.

I know what you’re getting at, but as long as they weren’t sexual before she was 16, it’s fine.

Although that is a huge age gap and one that a 26 year old should not feel comfortable with, if the relationship isnt causing her any harm then i wouldnt step in. Just make sure you keep an eye on it. If he starts treating her badly or anything then you should step in but otherwise just let it be. The age gap is so big that chances are it wont last long anyway

It's her relationship not yours. Unless she's actually said he's doing something to her she's uncomfortable with, stay out of it.

She keeps a lot of things to herself and I don't think she'd blatantly tell me anyway. I don't want her to feel as though if something did happen she couldn't tell me. I care about her a lot so I think as her friend it's up to me to keep track of things and make sure she's okay.

Maybe she keeps it to herself because she sees it as you interfering in her life?

It sounds to me that's what you're doing here. I can't see what "help" your friend needs. She's dating someone older than her. Big deal.

Exactly! I'm surprised at the people telling me to leave her alone and that it's okay. I can't see it going any way other than him taking advantage of her, no matter how nice he seems.

True I just feel like in that position he could more easily take advantage of her. I don't really understand why a guy who is 26 would go for someone almost 10 years younger than him unless he wanted something.

I agree. I find it especially weird that he started talking to her when she was 15 because at that age surely he wasn’t looking for a proper relationship with her. If I was you, I might tell her parents and let them decide what to do, but try and make sure if they talk to her, it’s not obvious it was you that told them. The relationship may be really nice for her atm but no one can say where it will go in the future.

I agree. I find it especially weird that he started talking to her when she was 15 because at that age surely he wasn’t looking for a proper relationship with her. If I was you, I might tell her parents and let them decide what to do, but try and make sure if they talk to her, it’s not obvious it was you that told them. The relationship may be really nice for her atm but no one can say where it will go in the future.

I asked her now and she said to me that she was 16 when they first got talking and she messaged him first, though that doesn't really seem like her since she's pretty shy usually. I'm going to ask her if she wants to have a coffee and a catchup with me and I'll ask her how it's going there and maybe suggest she tells her mum. I don't think her mum would be super against it if she didn't know that they have been sexual together, I think her father would be furious though so she might be hesitant to tell them but I think it will be for the best

I think that's what I'll be doing. She has drifted from me a little (my fault not hers) but I'm hoping that I can reconnect so I can keep a close eye on it. They both seem to think that it's going to last, at least until next year as they've booked a holiday for the summer I think, or they were talking about it at least.

Yes, there are guys who do take advantage of girls younger than them - esp witht hat age gap, but doesnt mean all do. He may turn out to be bad one, but may not - like any relationship

You also have to remember girls mature faster, thats why many seem to like/prefer older guys and vice versa etc.

Well done on being a good friend though. I didnt mean to sound mean with my first reply (Sorry if I did).

So basically my friend is 17 and she's dating/sleeping with this guy who is 26. He's in a band who tours around the world but when they have time off or anything they always meet up. He calls her every day and they message all the time. She's happy with him and he's really respectful and nice to her and they get on really well I just feel like it's wrong. I'm tempted to tell her mother because I feel like something can't be right here. Any advice I can pass onto her? She's super sweet and kind and I don't want her getting hurt.

well if they've been talking for 2 years and they've only just started doing things then i'm sure it's fine. maybe talk about it with your mum and see what she thinks of it. that is a big gap but maybe you should talk to your friend and say "if you have any issues in your relationship or really want to talk about it with someone, i'm here for you and you can talk to me" she will feel more secure and share things if there is anyrthing odd

Let her do what she wants, she is old enough to make her own mistakes now. If he was a nasty piece of **** I'd understand your concern. But he isn't. As a friend your job is to support her and be a shoulder to cry on should anything go wrong. If you are really that worried about her then go and talk to her

In all fairness I only know him from what she's told me and from what she's shown me message wise and how he's been on the phone while he knows I'm there. She knows I'm there for her and I talked to her about it a couple of weeks ago and she was kind of unsure about the whole relationship.