Some questions about love Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I've been thinking, is society made in a way which makes us believe that we can all fall in love when we actually aren't? And what the hell is love? How do you know when you're in love?

See, when I like a girl, I get this feeling like i'm sort of hung up on them, that I just want them to be mine and no one elses, it's hard to explain!
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Anonymous #1
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And when I was a little kid, about 6, I had this dream that I fell in love with this girl and we sat out watching the stars together. Whhaat!
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ßlαcksωαn
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#3
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I think that love is infact played up in movies and whatever else you watch. We usually see two people, meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. I refuse to think love is like that. I cannot define love, but I think you will know in yourself once you have found it. You will learn to tell the difference between infatuation and true love also. All in good time
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randdom
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Love is a very hard thing to explain. You want to spend all your time with them, you care for them very deeply etc but it is more than that. I think that if you are in love you know it.
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dh00001
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love is individual for everyone. we all feel it differently. i wish i could say youl know when youre in love but thats not always the case.
from exerience you only truely know it was love when it is lost
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Phantom Phoenix
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I do think that the popular media likes to tell us that we'll meet someone, fall in love and everything's gravy from then on. People just refuse to accept that relationships take hard work at times, and I honestly think that has something to do with the climbing divorce rate - more and more, people are believing that, if you have to put effort into a relationship, it's not the right one for you. Look around TSR; people talk about breaking up because their partner looked through their phone, met up with their ex, didn't text them, doesn't communicate...everyone just expects life to be incredibly easy and when it's not, well, they just give up and go looking for something easier. On a personal note, I firmly believe that I will spend the rest of my life with my current partner, but that doesn't mean that we never have problems - we just accept that every relationship will have some difficulties (even one that's usually perfect) and move on from it. For some reason, society seems to want to tell us that this is the wrong approach.
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A Stranger in Moscow
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#7
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I think people make it too much of a big deal. All this 'I've never been in love' stuff seems a bit over the top, I mean, "love" for me is just being really into someone who you want to be your best friend and your lover. So I've been in love 4 times. Infatuation counts, little crushes don't, relationships do...
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MSB
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#8
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This thread is very sweet. You can't be entirely happy until you can realise and resist the false expectations of society.
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*Star*Guitar*
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I met my boyfriend just over five months ago. Three days later we started going out!! And its just been amazing ever since. I think it was about 6 weeks of being together that we said we loved each other. I kinda knew it was going to be the start of something special when I sat down next to him that night I met him! It's weird, I never got ideas of love from media or society, I think I just waited for my own experience. And when you start to feel things you realise its love.

(Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
On a personal note, I firmly believe that I will spend the rest of my life with my current partner, but that doesn't mean that we never have problems - we just accept that every relationship will have some difficulties (even one that's usually perfect) and move on from it. For some reason, society seems to want to tell us that this is the wrong approach.
I think I'm the same too Phantom Phoenix. I feel like me and my boyfriend are perfect together, except reality gets in the way sometimes and you have to make allowances for it!

Its hard to explain love, but I know I love my boyfriend because I want to spend most of my time with him, I want to look after him and help him when he wants me to, I know he loves me, and I just feel like I'm 'complete', in a way, when I'm with him. Like he's the other half of the jigsaw. And we couldn't imagine letting go of each other. It's some weird thoughts!! And a bit cheesy too
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22KT22
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(Original post by dh00001)
love is individual for everyone. we all feel it differently. i wish i could say youl know when youre in love but thats not always the case.
from exerience you only truely know it was love when it is lost
^ I agree

I only really realised i love my current bf as much as i do when he asked me if we were breaking up when we go to Uni... I felt as if i'd been punched in the stomach and couldnt focus until we sorted it out.
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Somewhat Damaged
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#11
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I believe I'm in love.
My relationship was extremely cliche, we were best friends, 'shouldnt' be together. I fancied the pants off him the day I met him.
He fancied me after a few months, we'd cuddled watching films.
We would lie in a field and cuddle under the stars almost every night, & we had a whole typical love movie theme going on, it was rediculous when we think about it.
We splashed in puddles together, danced around in the rain.
We walked back to mine late one night, and he held my hand, etc.
it's all very gay&seemingly unrealistic really.

Then we got together, everything was perfect turn 'tragic', because he had to move away, so we're struggling through that. We have the typical arguements, I throw things at him, scream and shout, walk off. I've got depression, so he has to put up with that and my stupid talks too. I've got massive amounts of jealousy and insecurities. He annoys me to no end, and I 'upset' him by things I say and do. blahblah. But we're all loved up, think the world of each other, are completely gushy eyed, love to spend every moment together. We're happy together.

It's very cute, disgustingly gay, extremely stressful, and not always the happiest times - but I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I think I'm in love.
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dani2511
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#12
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Please forgive me for quoting from the bible, but I think this is appropriate:

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
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Phantom Phoenix
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#13
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(Original post by dani2511)
Please forgive me for quoting from the bible, but I think this is appropriate:

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
I wish I could agree, but this is the kind of idea propagated by Hollywood films, and so on. Love can be selfish, it can be quick to take offense and it can most definitely be rude! I wish popular culture would just let go of the idea that love is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong. Look at our parents' generation - they fall out, have fights, have different interests, but their relationships work. I may sound like an old fart at 22, but I think people my age (and younger) could stand to learn a lot from our parents.
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Snoofles
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I think love is completely individual, so you can't really say that you'll know when you find it. At the moment, I feel like I am in love with my boyfriend, but there's still this feeling at the back of my mind telling me that I'm still so young and there's soo many other guys to meet in the future.

And I think love defines itself as you grow up. Like when ur 5, you'll love the boy who gives you his crayons. At the moment, I love my boy because I feel like I could spend every minute with him and never get bored. We've got so much in common its ridiculous! But my gosh, have we had problems, and I think that's what makes us love each other more. The fact that we've got through it all makes the relationship worth fighting for, and it makes us value each other more.

Iunno, maybe we learn to love people. I hated my boyfriend when i first met him. But thats because we were 12 at the time, lol.
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Tera
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#15
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Love is obvious. If you have to ask "Have I ever been in love?" or "Is this love?" then your answer will always be no.

In my experience, it's not just a cutesy, softly softly emotion. It can be firey, intense and destructive. It's what drives people and what exhausts them, because it can be so "all consuming". One thing I hear a lot is that this only really applies to the early stages of a relationship and love, while I agree that a certain level of comfort is involved I also think that it really depends on the relationship... if you've learned not to take things for granted, I can't see how the intensity could ever fade away.
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Anonymous #2
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I don't think love is always obvious thing. I think it slowly dawns on you and takes you by surprise. I know there are circumstances where two people are just inseparable and just know they're in love. I think I've been and still am in love but only realised it after we're no longer together. I never one minute questioned it; I just didn't know that I could love after so much tragedy in my life. I can't believe I hadn't realised it sooner. I just feel like a part of me is lost and no matter how I try to distract myself with friends and tasks nothing works. I can't stop thinking about how he is, whether he's happy, wanting to give him a hug. Is it weird that I actually care about his well-being? I know it's cheesy...forgive me.

Love hurts and life goes on...
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Hylean
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#17
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(Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
I do think that the popular media likes to tell us that we'll meet someone, fall in love and everything's gravy from then on. People just refuse to accept that relationships take hard work at times, and I honestly think that has something to do with the climbing divorce rate - more and more, people are believing that, if you have to put effort into a relationship, it's not the right one for you. Look around TSR; people talk about breaking up because their partner looked through their phone, met up with their ex, didn't text them, doesn't communicate...everyone just expects life to be incredibly easy and when it's not, well, they just give up and go looking for something easier. On a personal note, I firmly believe that I will spend the rest of my life with my current partner, but that doesn't mean that we never have problems - we just accept that every relationship will have some difficulties (even one that's usually perfect) and move on from it. For some reason, society seems to want to tell us that this is the wrong approach.
I think the climbing divorce rate is due to people being too scared of being alone to wait for the right person and they jump on the first person they feel a slight connection with.

For me, love is unique and special, I may never know when I am truly in love, but I imagine it's close to wanting to be with them, being comfortable, close and happy just by being with them, able to talk about anything or say nothing at all, and in the end, their happiness is worth more to you than gold, so even if it hurts you, you'll do your best to make them happy.

Like the old phrase, "if you truly love them you'll let them go... if they truly love you, they'll come back." That's what love is for me.
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cerise
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Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word... feathers on my breath.
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Spike4848
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
And when I was a little kid, about 6, I had this dream that I fell in love with this girl and we sat out watching the stars together. Whhaat!
How can you dream of doing a thing when you do not know what that thing is? How did you know you were in love with this girl in the dream?
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Ennasky
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#20
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They way I know love, true love, is by looking at my parents! They're not cutesy or romantic unless the time calls (Valentines, haha!) But I can see they are in love, and that they love each other.

I'd like to think I love someone, but I think it'll take longer and more exploration to find out!
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