I feel bad for some reason (fairly long post)

Hi there,
I'd rather stay anonymous for the obvious reasons.

Well anyhow last night I was invited out with a friend, his gf and her friend. Having previously seen my friends gfs mate, I expressed an interest and so they invited her along last night.Anyhow she apparently expressed some interest in me, but something is bothering me since the events of last night.

Basically we went to one bar where there was a nice calm and cool environment and we all got talking and had a few drinks. I felt like did most of the talking as she was incredibly quiet! I dont know whether she was shy,or just a bit introverted.Anyhow me and her stuck together most of the night whilst, my mate and his gf stuck together.

When we all went off to town afterwards we went into this one club, and my hand had somehow found his way into her hand. Things started to take off from there, things got a lil heated, we got off you know how it is a bit of "touchy feely".

After that she didnt look to happy ,so I went out of the club with her to speak to her about what was wrong. But she wouldn't really answer me, I asked whether it was me, or whether something was bothering her. She just kept shrugging her shoulders but she said it wasn't me. I said had I overstepped the mark? And she shrugged her shoulders. So I apologised if I had done anything to possibly offend her or upset her. She then said that she was a loser and she doesnt like men because shed been messed around before.

Another thing to add is shes 5 years older than me, coming to the end of her degree, whilst ill be starting mine in september. It is kinda a problem if not now but then. Because she will be settling down, getting a job etc and I'll still be naive student.

But I dont know, I felt like I may have upset her, but she hardly spoke at all. I feel so guilty but I dont know why.

Thanks

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah it was mutual because her hands were touching areas, and her leg was rubbing areas too.At first I thought I may have taken things a bit too far, but she seemed comfortable with it and I asked her if she was ok and she said yes.

I don't want to be accused of anything though! Because im not an animal! Its just her reaction afterwards was really odd that she got down and a bit upset. Thats why i feel guilty to be honest.

I understand what ya saying though, She did eventually tell me that it wasn't me, I joked with her saying was I bad kisser or something and she just laughed. I guess it down to bad experiences but she wouldn't really say.

She texted me last night though after she got home saying she had a good night,saying that I didnt upset her and I seem really nice. Shes since added me on facebook.

Argh im so confused lol

Reply 2

~Ally~

14

its what we do best, lol. Just go with it.. if she's been messed around, it could be that she actually does like you etc, but realised 'oh crap, this seemingly innocent bar groping could all end up with me feeling like THAT again', hence the sudden change. The fact that she texted you and added you on facebook is a good sign, in my opinion. All sorts of good things can come from poking wars :wink:

Give her some space to think about things. Eeeverything'll be fine
smiiiillle :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Ally-Beal

its what we do best, lol. Just go with it.. if she's been messed around, it could be that she actually does like you etc, but realised 'oh crap, this seemingly innocent bar groping could all end up with me feeling like THAT again', hence the sudden change. The fact that she texted you and added you on facebook is a good sign, in my opinion. All sorts of good things can come from poking wars :wink:

Give her some space to think about things. Eeeverything'll be fine
smiiiillle :smile:

Hehe thanks for the advice :smile:

Reply 4

~Ally~

14

Anonymous

Hehe thanks for the advice :smile:

np, i'm well experienced in relationship panics :biggrin:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Well I've since spoken to her online.
Basically we spoke more than we really did in person, I managed to get on the topic of asking her what was wrong with her. She said she was an idiot, felt sorry for herself and finds it hard to trust people.

I then asked her if she wanted anything further, and she flipped it around at me and I said to her because of the age gap I had my doubts that it would work. She is in her last year of uni, where as I'm only going to be starting my uni adventures this year. I explained that I felt she would be starting to settle down in life after uni with a career and all that , and I would be a naive student.

She then said it probably wouldn't work. She also felt like I thought she was easy! I explained to her I'm not like that and that I value and respect woman a lot more than that! So I apologised that I made her feel that way but it wasn't what i had intended.She did say though that i didn't take things too far, so that's put my mind at rest because I felt incredibly bad for some reason.

But she then ended our conversation saying it was nice knowing me and that there's no real point speaking any more! With that she said good bye and deleted all traces of me (facebook , msn etc)

So im kinda feeling a bit down,confused and all sorts. I never have much luck with the ladies :frown:

Any advice?

Thanks so far

Reply 6

bex_

Anonymous

she then ended our conversation saying it was nice knowing me and that there's no real point speaking any more! With that she said good bye and deleted all traces of me (facebook , msn etc)

Well, that's lovely. To be honest it sounds a bit like she'd be an unreadable high-maintenance nightmare of a girlfriend anyway!

You'll have more luck eventually I'm sure, especially when you go to uni. :smile:

I feel bad for some reason (fairly long post)

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