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no confidence for dancing at parties

ok, this may seem trivial, but as the title says i just cant dance at parties. its not that im a bad dancer or anything, i just get too shy and i know people arent looking at me or anything, i just cant get up and dance.

all my friends dance and stuff and i know they are probably having a better time than me sitting there. i want to dance and enjoy myself just something stops me :frown:

any ideas why? how i could stop this? anyone else have same problem?

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Reply 1

Owl1867

A few drinks always improves my confidence no end!

Reply 2

Barry Scott

If you are drunk its ok. If you are not drunk, act as if you are then nobody can take the piss. Sorted

Reply 3

Tomber

You need this handy DVD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HiuCaaQhxg

Helped me no end :biggrin:

Reply 4

viirkokka

Umm I'm kinda like that but have a little dutchmans courage and get a bit tipsy :biggrin:

Also.. dance like no ones watching because really; they're not. Just go mad. Dancing is a great way to feel entirely free.

Reply 5

dh00001

i cant dance, very few people actualy can. make it look like youre trying to dance badly, do it ove rthe top daft. people join in and its far more fun

Reply 6

lolilady---O

Yeah, i was about to say do you drink? Because not a lot of sober people get up and just start dancing away.

Reply 7

noodles!

Have a couple of drinks, yeah. I'm a useless dancer, but by the time everyone else is dancing and/or drunk nobody really cares.

Reply 8

woofums

well, recently i have been to a lot of 18 birthdays and they are always at bars etc where you need id to be served so in those situations, i havent been able to drink much except a cider before the party and sips of over 18's drinks. i realise this may help though but its not always possible. but my friends get up and dance when sober so i dont get it

Reply 9

MSB

I have to be really quite intoxicated to be persuaded to dance, and even then I look like an Uncle at a wedding. I think you have to enjoy it, though. Besides, it's not compulsory.

Reply 10

viirkokka

Nobody has the confidence to dance before they try dancing. You will build it up after you've done it a few times

Reply 11

Ennasky

I always find that if I'm in a crowd of people its easier- bystanders can't see you so easily haha! I find it very difficult at first, feel really awkward, but as time goes by you can just start to relax and enjoy yourself! Also, try and get up when there's a song you love playing, or even a comedic/cheesy one, cause then you can dance in a jokey way!

Reply 12

username167705

Drunkenness normally sorts out any lack of confidence, as mentioned in almost every reply in this thread thus far :P. Crap dancing is allowed when you're drunk, gives you an excuse the next day :biggrin:

Reply 13

Cj-Tj

Also, big dance floors make you feel like your "lost" in them, whereas smaller ones are harder to dance on...

Reply 14

Prince Rhyus

I couldn't dance for toffee until I decided to do something about it. I joined a ballroom and latin dancing society and got trained up in all of those dances plus a little bit of salsa, rock n roll and tango. I've not looked back.

Being a bloke, it means that whenever you go to a class you are (nearly) always outnumbered by females who all want to dance with you and it means you can get to know them as people without you having to hit on them (as in a nightclub) or them thinking that you are hitting on them (as in a nightclub).

You end up improving your fitness and save on your bank balance as money that would be spent on alcohol is not - oh, and you find you don't have to resort to "darling, that dress would look great on my bedroom floor" sort of line that flows after 7 pints.

Reply 15

AmieFM

Dance round you're room beforehand. :biggrin:

And whenever come to think of it..

Dance like you would in a club with loads of people, imagine you are...so when you are actually in a club you're familiar with dancing like that (even if you're not).

Just let yourself go! Even if you're just in you're room, the more you dance the more confident you will become. The more you'll love dancing when you hear music!

Reply 16

jenren22

I know what you mean. Im like this when im out with my bf (which luckily, i dont do often). When i'm with my mates though, it kind of comes naturally to go have a boogie. I do get a little shy to start off with, as when we start dancing there's not many other people dancing, so i dance a bit wooden, but once it gets a bit more crowded and we get going a bit, i dance like no ones watching, because by that point, no one is, everyones drunk, and everyone else is dancing anyway.

Just blank your mind and wiggle. If your mates laugh at you, laugh back. If anyone else laughs at you, just ignore them, you're never gonna see them again anyway, and if they dance, you can laugh at them. Problem solved.

Reply 17

mangomaz

Try just going mental dancing on your own in your room first. Set up a good play list and off you go. Its quite good fun as well.

As for dancing out in trendy places, like others have said just dance like noone is watching. Its all too easy to be looking at all your friends while they are dancing and thinking 'oh they dance so much better than me' or 'why dont they look really uncomfortable' etc... and especially when its groups of girls dancing together and you might feel left out at moments here and there because they're grinding against each other or something.... BUT fear not!!! Its NOT about trying to look good, its about actually enjoying it and having fun, even if that means dancing really stupidly and spending half your time laughing. And usually if you are able to do that, you will look good because in all honesty there are far too few people on dancefloors who actually look like they're having a good time. They usually look either uncomfortable or just very drunk :P

Basics:
Stamp your feet to the beat
Shift your weight from one foot to the other
USE YOUR ARMS - anyone who can do this well automatically looks confident. Although it can be tricky for starters to know what to do with your arms especially with mainstream music but just move your arms about while you do your room dancing session and see what happens.
Spin round every now and again
A bit of hip wiggling is always good
Oh and actually listen to the music and see what it does and move with it. If its a bit jumpy, bounce around and lift up your shoulders a bit or if its grrr down there and dirty bend your knees and get down there with it. If its a bit sexy then YOU BE SEXY TOO, be a smoooooth sensual woman but not slutty, more belly dance style cos thats actually sexy rather than rnb video style hoes.

Wow I've really rambled but I'm going to carry on because dancing is one of my most absolute favourite things in the world.

To me, dancing is about physical freedom. You have your space around you and you can fill it ANY way that you want. Whether you want to jump around or lift your arms up or pretend you're surfing some waves. Its quite nice being able to have that every now and again. Its quite self indulgent, makes you feel good, and is quite refreshing as well. Its a bit more difficult at normal clubs because everythings a bit more rigid but you can still try and feel some of that.

And if you don't enjoy dancing (which is fair enough, its not for everyone!) then don't try and force yourself into it or think that the answer is to just drink loads and then start because I can't really see how that means that you're actually having a good time. Although it might help you get into it at first because finding that freedom can be a bit daunting if you've never done it before I suppose. But yeah people who can never dance without being drunk first haven't quite discovered yet WHY they are actually dancing IMO.

Yeaahhhh rambly nonsensical tsr post ftw