The Student Room Group

How much space to give him#???

He is a close friend that I cared a lot for
I realised I cared more than him
I realised I was coming across kinda clingy so I asked am I clingy he said a bit
The i said maybe its best to give u space and not talk for a couple of weeks?
He said yeah I guess that is best and he stopped talking then
So far this is the 2nd day and Idk what to do how long not to talk to him
or to wait for him to messagee

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Reply 1
Yeah I guess so, I realised where I went wrong... I would text daily and even triple text if he would not reply and get annoyed.
He is a decent friend, he did not get angry but if i do something irrational he gets annoyed and stops talking which had made me cry before.
That what I am working on rn not to care if someone ignores, not to contact the person more than they contact me , even better not to contact them first or make plans first and to take my time in replying to messages.

I know what to do just find it hard to control myself from messaging.
I guess I have the same problem to an extent :frown: I don't do it intentionally,I just can't help myself-I just want to talk to them :frown: But I did try giving them space but that didn't work and than I don't want them to think I don't care or forgot about them.Hard situation...
Reply 3
Original post by FutureMissMRCS
I guess I have the same problem to an extent :frown: I don't do it intentionally,I just can't help myself-I just want to talk to them :frown: But I did try giving them space but that didn't work and than I don't want them to think I don't care or forgot about them.Hard situation...


How didn't it work out giving them space?
The thing is I told him upfront that maybe we shouldt talk for a few weeks and he agreed.
He cared enough I knr he will pop up sooner or later
How many threads do you need to post that all say pretty much the same thing?
Original post by Anonymous
How didn't it work out giving them space?
The thing is I told him upfront that maybe we shouldt talk for a few weeks and he agreed.
He cared enough I knr he will pop up sooner or later

I didn't talk to them for 5 weeks and that didn't really work :frown: It's complex.I wish they would come to their senses and stop being this way and I don't know what to do.I said Im sorry for being annoying so many times and I don't know what else to do-I just miss them :frown:
Reply 6
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
How many threads do you need to post that all say pretty much the same thing?


True, I get you but all these threads stops me from texting and it isnt harming anyone so
Original post by Anonymous
He is a close friend that I cared a lot for
I realised I cared more than him
I realised I was coming across kinda clingy so I asked am I clingy he said a bit
The i said maybe its best to give u space and not talk for a couple of weeks?
He said yeah I guess that is best and he stopped talking then
So far this is the 2nd day and Idk what to do how long not to talk to him
or to wait for him to messagee


It sounds like you’ve become very attached to this person and it isn’t being reciprocated!

Wait for him to message you back.

If he doesn’t, then take it as a lesson that friendships have to work both ways. I’ve lost a few friends on this basis, but I know the ones I’ve kept are the ones who are most valuable because they make the effort as much as I do.

Make some other friends, learn not to pester people, realise that friendship isn’t the be-all and end-all, and move on with your life.
Reply 8
Original post by carrotstar
It sounds like you’ve become very attached to this person and it isn’t being reciprocated!

Wait for him to message you back.

If he doesn’t, then take it as a lesson that friendships have to work both ways. I’ve lost a few friends on this basis, but I know the ones I’ve kept are the ones who are most valuable because they make the effort as much as I do.

Make some other friends, learn not to pester people, realise that friendship isn’t the be-all and end-all, and move on with your life.


This is so far my favourite response. Thank You Hun! :smile: You are so right!
I need to stop taking frienships too seriously and focus on myself and my family more
Yeah I realised I became attached, and I know I can stop that from happening again by not having expectations, not texting first or prioritising him over my priorities. Thank U beautiful <3 is it okay to PM u? x
Original post by Anonymous
See, that's where you are wrong. You shouldn't be blaming the other person. Perhaps there's a reason for their non-reply.


I perhaps worded it wrong.I don't blame them for this-I blame myself all the time and feel really guilty.What I was meant to say is I just wish things were how they used to be or they would just be clear with me on the situation.I just feel sad.
Original post by FutureMissMRCS
I didn't talk to them for 5 weeks and that didn't really work :frown: It's complex.I wish they would come to their senses and stop being this way and I don't know what to do.I said Im sorry for being annoying so many times and I don't know what else to do-I just miss them :frown:


Hun, what I think is this. this is my advice to u beautiful:
Focus on yourself and your priorities, friendships come and go
Do not priorities a person over your priorities
Do not be afraid to say no or take a while to reply to messages
Do not constantly message daily, if u want to text first, text once a week/ a month, other times they should message u if not
cut all contact and wait for them to contact u. The effort has to be mutual otherwise lose it :smile:
I have been kind of neglecting myself-not eating properly and not sleeping properly,it has made me unable to study properly and just day to day life is difficult because I miss them.
I just hope perhaps things will go back to how they used to be-they would text me a lot too and would make me smile.
Original post by Anonymous
Hun, what I think is this. this is my advice to u beautiful:
Focus on yourself and your priorities, friendships come and go
Do not priorities a person over your priorities
Do not be afraid to say no or take a while to reply to messages
Do not constantly message daily, if u want to text first, text once a week/ a month, other times they should message u if not
cut all contact and wait for them to contact u. The effort has to be mutual otherwise lose it :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Again, there's the demand from the other person.


I don't mean to demand things-I just hate being confused all the time about this situation.
Original post by FutureMissMRCS
I have been kind of neglecting myself-not eating properly and not sleeping properly,it has made me unable to study properly and just day to day life is difficult because I miss them.
I just hope perhaps things will go back to how they used to be-they would text me a lot too and would make me smile.


Take care of yourself beautiful
U need to love yourself more
Original post by Anonymous
Again, there's the demand from the other person.

I hate having to keep guessing and trying to come up with reasons why things are the way they are and tormenting myself in the process.Im scared Im annoying them and pushing them away with my behaviour but that's not what Im intending to do but I don't know what else to do-I just miss them.
Original post by Anonymous
This is so far my favourite response. Thank You Hun! :smile: You are so right!
I need to stop taking frienships too seriously and focus on myself and my family more
Yeah I realised I became attached, and I know I can stop that from happening again by not having expectations, not texting first or prioritising him over my priorities. Thank U beautiful <3 is it okay to PM u? x


Of course! I’m glad I helped, I did wonder if it would come across too blunt.
Im just wondering,why are you posting anon?
Original post by Anonymous
Be glad that this person appeared in your life for a while and made your happy.

Things happen for a reason - but you won't know most of them. There are many things in life that are much, much more cruel than this and you'll never know the reason why. That's the sad way the world works.
Original post by Anonymous
Because my posts were critical and I don't want to appear like a douche.

What do you think of what I posted?


I like this guys critical posts, it's honest which is good.
I want to PM u but u are Anon lol
Original post by Anonymous
Because my posts were critical and I don't want to appear like a douche.

What do you think of what I posted?

A bit harsh..Im just wondering if I know you or not...Imagine how it feels to have what you care about taken away from you..For me all the other things I cared about mean nothing to me anymore..it's like a clock-you take one piece of the machinery out and the whole clock stops working..(not sure if the anology is any good).
Original post by Anonymous
Why do you think I'm a guy? :u:

Also I didn't think I was harsh - it's the truth.


Maybe harsh is the wrong word.But you sound like my head of sixth form-you pick words and analyse them and than try to trip me over with what I said..So are you a girl than?

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