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Lied about having lost my virginity. watch

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    Basically I told my best friend that I lost my virginity to my ex- when I'm still a virgin. This may sound crazy, but she always used to tease me about how 'sad' I was still being a virgin even though I'm only 16, and make really *****y comments iin front of our gruop of friends like " for your 17th we will hire you a male prostitute because we'll be fed up with you still being a sad virgin." I mean to me, virginity wasn't a big deal at all, but she is my best friend and always was there for me when I was going through rubbish times.
    So I told her I'm not a virgin anymore, but I'm sure she knows I'm lying as she calls me up and says things like "I hate people that lie, especially friends, about important stuff. That's not what friendships about." And she's a virgin herself, and keeps on asking me about what sex really feels like which I can't really answer. Should I 'fess up to her? It's just we've both had problems in the past with trusting people, and she is the closest friend I ever had.
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    Why does it matter if you're still a virgin? If she was your friend it wouldn't matter to her. Maybe you should talk to her and tell her that you are still a virgin, it doesn't bother you, so why should it bother her?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon for obvious reasons.

    Basically I told my best friend that I lost my virginity to my ex- when I'm still a virgin. This may sound crazy, but she always used to tease me about how 'sad' I was still being a virgin even though I'm only 16, and make really *****y comments iin front of our gruop of friends like " for your 17th we will hire you a male prostitute because we'll be fed up with you still being a sad virgin." I mean to me, virginity wasn't a big deal at all, but she is my best friend and always was there for me when I was going through rubbish times.
    So I told her I'm not a virgin anymore, but I'm sure she knows I'm lying as she calls me up and says things like "I hate people that lie, especially friends, about important stuff. That's not what friendships about." And she's a virgin herself, and keeps on asking me about what sex really feels like which I can't really answer. Should I 'fess up to her? It's just we've both had problems in the past with trusting people, and she is the closest friend I ever had.
    Yes. Tell her a few things.

    1) You're a still a Virgin.
    2) You lied, because you're sick of her treating you like **** over something that is NOT important.
    3) You want her to start respecting you and your attitude towards sex, because God knows it's a more mature view than hers is.


    "i hate people who lie, especially friends, about important stuff"

    Virginity is not "important stuff", it's a trivial matter. And I'm glad you understand that at such a young age, don't let your friend convince you otherwise.
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    She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me...
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    Wait, I just reread the last bit of your post. Why he HELL does she tease you about being a virgin if she's a virgin herself????
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon for obvious reasons.

    Basically I told my best friend that I lost my virginity to my ex- when I'm still a virgin. This may sound crazy, but she always used to tease me about how 'sad' I was still being a virgin even though I'm only 16, and make really *****y comments iin front of our gruop of friends like " for your 17th we will hire you a male prostitute because we'll be fed up with you still being a sad virgin." I mean to me, virginity wasn't a big deal at all, but she is my best friend and always was there for me when I was going through rubbish times.
    So I told her I'm not a virgin anymore, but I'm sure she knows I'm lying as she calls me up and says things like "I hate people that lie, especially friends, about important stuff. That's not what friendships about." And she's a virgin herself, and keeps on asking me about what sex really feels like which I can't really answer. Should I 'fess up to her? It's just we've both had problems in the past with trusting people, and she is the closest friend I ever had.
    Nope, but its not about being horrible/*****y either. She doesn't sound like a very good friend to me
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    lol dnt admit it, would be really ****ty for you, having friends know that a) you lied b) you care about what other people think c) that you give a **** bout sex

    I think alot of people can sympathise with your situation, whether its sex or anything else but learn a lesson from it
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    she sounds like an idiot.
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    (Original post by jeebsa)
    lol dnt admit it, would be really ****ty for you, having friends know that a) you lied b) you care about what other people think c) that you give a **** bout sex

    I think alot of people can sympathise with your situation, whether its sex or anything else but learn a lesson from it
    I think it'd be better to fess up and tell them the valid reason WHY she lied in the first place(because of their arrogance).

    Wouldn't you much rather your friends found out from you, rather than this 'lie' getting round to her ex-bf, who then denies ever having sex?

    Confessing might be embarrassing, but if they found out from elsewhere, it could be even moreso.
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    OP, just tell them. It might be slightly embarrassing admitting such a lie, but trust me, you have the moral highground by a long run.
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    She is an immature *****. Tell her you hate it when people bully others about their sex lives when it is none of their damn business.
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    Well, you say she's the closest friend you've ever had, but she sounds like a bit of an idiot. She's a virgin herself and she's teasing you for being a virgin? Perhaps you need to find yourself some new friends...

    You shouldn't have lied in the first place, although I can see why you were tempted to. Still, as there's nothing you can do about that now, I think you should just be honest. It will be embarrassing admitting that you lied, but the longer you keep the pretence up, the worse it will be when she finds out that you lied about it. I don't know if this is the best thing to do or not, but you could consider explaining why you felt the need to lie? She'll probably want to know what motivated you anyway, and it might show her that she acted badly by making you feel "sad" for being a virgin when she realises that you lied because of her.

    Hope everything goes well. And being a virgin at sixteen is nothing to be ashamed of. Better to wait until you're with someone you love etc etc. It's not as though 99% of sixteen year olds have lost their virginity, anyway. I imagine half of the people who claim to no longer be virgins are lying...
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    (Original post by Mush)
    Wait, I just reread the last bit of your post. Why he HELL does she tease you about being a virgin if she's a virgin herself????
    Thanks to everyone! I know, she always had a chip on her shoulder about it, especially as I had lots of boyfriends and no-one's ever asked her out. But I honestly never cared about that- I mean I love her to bits anyway.
    I do get where you're coming from, I mean if she were a real friend she wouldn't make me feel **** in company of our other friends...But she's also a great person too, we click with each other most of the time. I hate lying, I feel incredibly guilty, and I'm sure it must be written all over my face, especially as she knows me so well. Grr.
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    you put yourself in a sticky situation because you shouldnt of lied. just tell her you lied, and why you did, because your mate makes such a big deal out of it, and you only said you've lost it because she never shuts up about it, and makes sly comments.
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    My mum has this annoying habit of buying some new food and then waiting for me to try it first in case it's vile. Maybe your friend is working on the same principle, but felt the need to push you to go first because she got fed up waiting.

    EDIT: And to answer the original question, 'fess up. It's less complicated.
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    She just sounds insecure about herself, to the extent that she feels that she has to make other people feel bad to feel better.

    She also sounds like a douche..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks to everyone! I know, she always had a chip on her shoulder about it, especially as I had lots of boyfriends and no-one's ever asked her out. But I honestly never cared about that- I mean I love her to bits anyway.
    I do get where you're coming from, I mean if she were a real friend she wouldn't make me feel **** in company of our other friends...But she's also a great person too, we click with each other most of the time. I hate lying, I feel incredibly guilty, and I'm sure it must be written all over my face, especially as she knows me so well. Grr.
    I'm willing to bet she doesn't mention it when it's just the two of you alone.

    It's just banter, in that case. In a group she tries to make funnies at your expense. You could just take it as banter and let it roll off your back. But if it really is getting to you to the point that you're actually lying to your friends to stop the insults, then maybe it's time to ask her to think carefully about what she says about you in the group in future, as it's hurting your feelings.
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    (Original post by Mush)
    I think it'd be better to fess up and tell them the valid reason WHY she lied in the first place(because of their arrogance).

    Wouldn't you much rather your friends found out from you, rather than this 'lie' getting round to her ex-bf, who then denies ever having sex?

    Confessing might be embarrassing, but if they found out from elsewhere, it could be even moreso.
    Well its not going to help the situation confessing! Is there a viable way of them finding out unless the person in question lets slip? me thinks not. MMMMmmm i think you have misunderstood the anonymous poster, doesnt seem like she is arrogant but pressured to lie.
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    (Original post by Mush)
    I'm willing to bet she doesn't mention it when it's just the two of you alone.

    It's just banter, in that case. In a group she tries to make funnies at your expense. You could just take it as banter and let it roll off your back. But if it really is getting to you to the point that you're actually lying to your friends to stop the insults, then maybe it's time to ask her to think carefully about what she says about you in the group in future, as it's hurting your feelings.
    It's more than that. The group that I used to hang around in were like a younger generation 'Skins' group, they did drugs at around 14, and were going around constantly competing with each other over who could be the most outrageous. I stopped hanging out with them, but my best friend is a best friend- I can take whatever from people who don't really matter. But acting like you've got a disease because you're still a virgin really used to upset me,it felt like she was betraying me, as she knew I was getting crap at home from my Dad... and the last person I needed was a bully from my best friend. So that's why I lied. Part of me wants to forget the whole thing ever happened, and just not talk to her anymore... I mean I have other friends as well. Maybe moving on would be best.
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    itch day the itch bay
 
 
 
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