finally letting go Watch

blondyx
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#1
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so basicly was with my bf for a year and half. we were really in love and stuff and we were perfect. when he went to uni things wernt quite the same, i supose it was both our faults. id b a bit too clingy and possessive i guess coz i was worried he'd find someone else and he'd do things i didnt like, like call other girls babe, and do poppers and ecstacy which would make me annoyed and so we'd argue alot. we spent alot of time arguing since uni, coz we couldnt c eachother much anymore and alot of little things. he still seemed happy coz he always used to talk about being together forever and stuff and in november he said 'this is the best moment of my life, i no i dnt hav ring but wil u marry me'. and in ym xmas card he wrote how he'd b so sad if we broke up, that im the most important person to him in the world. we had so much fun together and we never felt this way about anyone else.

he broke up with me in january. he dumped me in person when we got in a fight then half an hour later he said oh lets just forget it happened. we were ok for the week after that, then we got in a fight bout something that wasnt even important and he said ur dumped over the phone. no contact since apart from hearing its over.

6 weeks later... iv gotten to the stage where i have realised in my heart that its over.
i see pictures of him on facebook and i know hes not mine anymore, that hes moved on and is happy without me. when i look at them i see someone that isnt mine.
he looks so unfamiliar. im starting to forgot what it was like to be in his company and hear him say i love you. it seems like a lifetime ago. i look at the pictures of us together and the box i have with all the sweet things he eva done for me in and feels like it never even happened, that it was just a dream, that that person doesnt exist anymore. its been 6 weeks of us not being together and im forgetting the good times we had and what we had. i dont want to forget because they were the best times of my life.
it hurts so much. lots of people that go through breaking with someone after quite a long time at least hear from the ex they still have feelings for them and miss them or even anything but he hasnt said anything like that. the only thing iv heard from him since is that we will never be back together, hes moved on and theres nothing i can do.
it hurts we were so close and now iv been completely shut out. i dont want to forget. i suose thats why its taken me so long to get to this stage. its coz i havnt seem him in so long (well 6 weeks and havnt heard anything positive from him). though i still wish he'd come to me now and it would b like it was so i will remember again. but my head is telling me he wont. and im imagining being with other peole now

is this what it feels like to move on?
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jenren22
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Uni can tear relationships apart. I am lucky my bf is older and never went to uni, but i have a friend who is still with her bf even though they are at different unis half way across the country from each other. I dont know how they do it. It is possible for some, but not for others. I know how it feels to feel clingy when someone is somewhere else doing their own thing, i get needy if i dont see my bf in a while, as he lives 20 miles away.

I think you've already decided it cant work so its something you need to get through. Get all the support from your friends and family and move on with your life. Take up a new hobby, do the things you were meant to do months ago, start afresh.

I know it's hard but these things happen and not being close to another it's hard to patch things up. Im sure there is another guy out there who is closer and will be as close to you as he was. Take care xxx
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Alreeeet
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This is goooooood
Sorry to hear about it all though!
Sounds to me like you're moving on.

Could still be a little while until you're fully over it, but you'll be fine before you know it!
Congratulations! Haha.
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Anonymous #1
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My first break-up was similar to this.

We were together for two years, I was doing my A-levels and she had started uni the other side of the country as of a month into the relationship. So to get 2 years in was pretty good going.

But then one day I just thought "wait... she hasnt really spoken to me much for like 2 weeks has she?" I never even noticed that happen, she still said she loved me when we spoke etc so I asked if something was wrong. She said yes, theres somebody else, get over it, find someone your own age...

It took a long time, but I got over it. I found somebody else (and that has now also gone tits up, but far more amicably at least, still friends etc...)

(btw, poppers is for gay people!)
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pumpkin7
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you sound exactly like me and my ex, up to the proposal anyway.
he started uni in the september, and he couldn't be without me the first week. i stayed over and stuff and i really thought it would work out. just after that week, he turns round and says 'it's not going to work' and i was like wtf!? it toally blew me away because we were so close. i was, as you, scared to lose him to someone else so i came across as very clingy.
still, we continued to 'see' each other up until january of the following year (5 months after he told me he didn't want to be with me) at which point, after many pleas of love, i told him to stop contacting me.
as you say, now, looking at the pictures, and seeing pictures of him, it's like i know him but i've only ever met him in a dream. it's like it all never happened eventhough i have all these photos and messages and emails to prove different.
it was hard in the initial months after the break up. i didn't want to let him go but in the end i had to, and it was horrible. but time heals all. i haven't had any contact with him now for over a year. i just see it as a chapter in my life where i learnt a lot and grew a lot.
he's turned into a bit of a wierdo now anyway so i'm kind of glad :p: plus i am living with somone a trillion times better who i love a whole lot more.

it's probably best that you move on. listen to yourself; he won't come back, and if he does, just tell him to get on his bike and bugger off! you will find someone better and you will be a thousand times happier. trust me!
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fairycakes
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you are in the process of moving on, but you haven't yet. it will hurt for a while, you've only been split 6 weeks and you went out for 18 months!

after my 18 month relationship, it took me 6 months before i could think about liking someone else. and i don't think i fully got over him until maybe 4 months after that. you really have to accept it is over for the pain to go away and for you to truly move on.

you won't forget everthing, there will be plenty of memories you will cherish your whole life with him. but then there will be plenty of happier memories that you will have with someone else who deserves you.

xxxx
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gLace
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Oooh this happened to me, just under a 2 yr relationship ruined by Uni, one day he just said ' i dont want to be in a relatioship anymore'. Getting over it was the worst. I still think about him but i can say i can see there will be a time where i won't and he'll be a good, but distant memory.
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jaw
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went down the same route myself, and am glad to say I'll never be going back..the first few weeks are the hardest, mine ended back in december and I feel like I've moved on and lead a much better life because of it.. the longer you wish you could go back, the more you'll wounder why you thought that way when you finally get over it..

I still find it hard seeing photos and memories of my ex, thinking about what was, even though there were so many bad sides too it, and so many good sides to now. I realised today that the only time I ever took a collage of her off my wall was today when I had my new girlfriend around, and although I really miss her and I wounder how she's doing, I feel like I've moved on..

trust me, him not saying he misses you doesnt mean he doesn't think about or miss being with you, but makes it far less painful.
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Riddy
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You might be able to relate to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN1bIhuh3N4, at least if you can stand boybands.
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