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    Please keep this anon!

    Anyway I was invited by a friend to join in with her and her bf for a threesome. We used protection but something must have gone wrong somewhere, maybe a condom broke because i'm pregnant.

    I told her and her bf and they were quite shocked. The bf is being really nice to me and is helping me all the way, but the other day he said he loved me, and that he wants to be with me and our child as a family.

    If I say yes i'll lose my mate and she'll hate me. He's a nice guy, and I do sorta have feelings for him, but they have been together for about two years now.

    He says he has more feelings for me than he does for his gf, (my mate.)

    i'm 19 years old, so is my mate and her bf is 21 almost 22.
    Its a real dilemma.
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    well what do you want.
    forget the boyfriend for a moment. do you want the child?
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    First hurdle is to decide whether you want to be a mother right now or not. If so, it's harsh but your friend's boyfriend is the father and should take responsibility accordingly
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    Firstly you need to work out whether you want the child, then think through the idea of being with him. If you decide that you want the child and he wants to be with you then so be it.
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    yea forget the bloke, defo!

    I mean, sure it's honorable that he wants to be with his kid, but look at how he's treating your mate!
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    totally agree with loz_fairy; if he can treat a girlfriend like that after 2 years together ... how would he treat you, and with a child to consider too?

    Anyway, beside the point as you need to make sure that you 210% want this child. Remember how it was conceived, your situation at the moment, how all that will change, income, parents, all that. Its a HUGE responsibility and even if you do want a baby, do you really want it in this way? I'm sorry I'm so biased, but if that happened to me, I couldnt bring up a child knowing that it had come from a night of fun, rather than a loving, secure relationship.

    The decision is up to you though, sorry if i come accross too harshly
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    It seems like a terribly messy way to start things, both for the relationship and the child. I think you should be really 100% sure about things. Think about it, if it all works out with this guy in the future then you can still have a child with him then.
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    Yeah I agree.

    Tough situation and tough call. If he just leaves his present gf (your friend) like that then how do you know he won't do that to you?)
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    I do want to keep the baby. Mainly because I don't believe in abortion.
    Not sure what to do about him and how to deal with the situation.
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    Is this even real?

    You don't believe in abortion? Well, if that's the case you're stuck with it aren't you? Either way, this means you're going to have to tell your friend sooner or later.

    I am however rather confused; you're liberal enough to indulge in sexual polygamy, yet you hold some undisclosed bias against abortion? ...Would you care to explain?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do want to keep the baby. Mainly because I don't believe in abortion.
    Not sure what to do about him and how to deal with the situation.
    This isn't the only solution. You say you want to keep the child because you don't believe in abortion. Surely that only means you have to give birth to it? Is adoption something you'd consider?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do want to keep the baby. Mainly because I don't believe in abortion.
    Not sure what to do about him and how to deal with the situation.
    What about adoption? You'll still give birth to the baby, just won't raise it
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    (Original post by Nix!)
    Is this even real?

    You don't believe in abortion? Well, if that's the case you're stuck with it aren't you? Either way, this means you're going to have to tell your friend sooner or later.

    I am however rather confused; you're liberal enough to indulge in sexual polygamy, yet you hold some undisclosed bias against abortion? ...Would you care to explain?
    Exactly what I thought , how many weeks pregnant? Do you have secret desires to keep the baby such as to secure yourself with your friends GF? Do you really really want to be a mother ?
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    (Original post by Nix!)
    Is this even real?

    You don't believe in abortion? Well, if that's the case you're stuck with it aren't you? Either way, this means you're going to have to tell your friend sooner or later.

    I am however rather confused; you're liberal enough to indulge in sexual polygamy, yet you hold some undisclosed bias against abortion? ...Would you care to explain?
    Plenty of people can be opposed to abortion on moral grounds and yet think that adults can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own bedrooms. There's not one slide scale of "liberalness" which people move down, with abortion at one and and threeseomes a bit further down. :rolleyes:

    Frankly, it's not the OP's duty to explain -why- she is opposed to abortion. It's her choice, after all.
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    (Original post by coldfish)
    Plenty of people can be opposed to abortion on moral grounds and yet think that adults can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own bedrooms. There's not one slide scale of "liberalness" which people move down, with abortion at one and and threeseomes a bit further down. :rolleyes:

    Frankly, it's not the OP's duty to explain -why- she is opposed to abortion. It's her choice, after all.
    Congratulations for jumping on the "oh so typical moral-bandwagon". You lot really do try my patience with your half-brained knee-jerk reactions. Just once, I'd like you to think something through before resorting to pixelated sarcasm. :rolleyes:

    I'm actually trying to ascertain whether the OP is in fact a troll, as despite the obvious reality that someone can indeed hold both positions, it is in fact somewhat contentious, or can you not see the glaring moral inconsistency?

    Logical inconsistencies will ultimately only ever result in logical fallacies, and thus harbour nonsensical conclusions. This is why I asked for an explanation.

    Imagine that everyone owned a simple box with inputs and outputs, whereby everyone's processes are more or less the same (yep, you've guesses it -- a brain!). Now imagine a corruption of the inputs to the box; a few small incorrect assumptions, wherever they're derived from (for example, a belief system). These incorrect assumptions will create inconsistencies within the process between input and output (logic). A multiplier effect is soon introduced within the process as sound reasoning combines with poor, establishing further inconsistency. Therefore, outputs become more and more nonsensical.

    In short, logical inconsistancies identify poor reasoning somewhere along the line. In an ideal world, people would be consistent with their reasoning; if someone said n in situation X, they would still say n in situation Y, rather than n in X and p in Y, etc.

    The onus is always on the OP to explain. Within the current context; it's her choice, therefore I would like a justification, at least to help in finding a conclusion to her dilemma.
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    do you really want to bring up a child that is the result of some male fantasie that came true??? I'd seriously sit down and make some lifestyle changes, forget the man and his girlfriend...and think about yourself. if you were in a relationship then this would be a 2-way decision, however the child is simply the result of some sex mad night

    I'm not goint to give you my idea of abortion etc cause that is YOUR decision, i'm merely pointing out either way you have to consider a) is my lifestyle and situation appropiate to being up a child in a loving and fulfilling enviroment and b) can i emotionally and intellectually cope with an abortion?
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    (Original post by Nix!)
    Congratulations for jumping on the "oh so typical moral-bandwagon". You lot really do try my patience with your half-brained knee-jerk reactions. Just once, I'd like you to think something through before resorting to pixelated sarcasm. :rolleyes:

    I'm actually trying to ascertain whether the OP is in fact a troll, as despite the obvious reality that someone can indeed hold both positions, it is in fact somewhat contentious, or can you not see the glaring moral inconsistency?

    Logical inconsistencies will ultimately only ever result in logical fallacies, and thus harbour nonsensical conclusions. This is why I asked for an explanation.

    Imagine that everyone owned a simple box with inputs and outputs, whereby everyone's processes are more or less the same (yep, you've guesses it -- a brain!). Now imagine a corruption of the inputs to the box; a few small incorrect assumptions, wherever they're derived from (for example, a belief system). These incorrect assumptions will create inconsistencies within the process between input and output (logic). A multiplier effect is soon introduced within the process as sound reasoning combines with poor, establishing further inconsistency. Therefore, outputs become more and more nonsensical.

    In short, logical inconsistancies identify poor reasoning somewhere along the line. In an ideal world, people would be consistent with their reasoning; if someone said n in situation X, they would still say n in situation Y, rather than n in X and p in Y, etc.

    The onus is always on the OP to explain. Within the current context; it's her choice, therefore I would like a justification, at least to help in finding a conclusion to her dilemma.
    Err, thanks for jumping down my throat there.
    There is -absolutely- nothing inconsistent with holding that abortion is morally wrong but threesomes are perfectly acceptable. It's unusual, sure, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible or the result of poor reasoning. It's pretty easy to spell out a set of morals that'd lead to this conclusion: You might hold that it is wrong to prevent the life of a potential human after their genes are decided and they are in a position to continue into life if not interfered with. You might also hold that what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is not the business of morality to dictate.

    There is -no- onus on the OP to explain. If she states that she is opposed to abortion and so does not want to have one, then that is all she need say. Sure it may be worthwhile to say "Have you seriously considered the issues of morality surrounding abortion?", but she has no onus to explain the moral reasons surrounding her choices to you or anybody else in this thread.

    PS thanks for your little story up there! It really helped me understand.
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    (Original post by coldfish)
    Err, thanks for jumping down my throat there.
    There is -absolutely- nothing inconsistent with holding that abortion is morally wrong but threesomes are perfectly acceptable. It's unusual, sure, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible or the result of poor reasoning. It's pretty easy to spell out a set of morals that'd lead to this conclusion: You might hold that it is wrong to prevent the life of a potential human after their genes are decided and they are in a position to continue into life if not interfered with. You might also hold that what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is not the business of morality to dictate.
    You've misunderstood again. I'm not suggesting that there is in any way something inconsistent with having altering morals for sexuality and abortion. The two are not really related in that sense, however my alarms bells were rung for a different reason and hence why I felt the need to ask. I was merely pointing out why having an inconsistent logic can be dangerous or if you like, curious.

    There is -no- onus on the OP to explain. If she states that she is opposed to abortion and so does not want to have one, then that is all she need say. Sure it may be worthwhile to say "Have you seriously considered the issues of morality surrounding abortion?", but she has no onus to explain the moral reasons surrounding her choices to you or anybody else in this thread.

    PS thanks for your little story up there! It really helped me understand.
    Indeed, there is no onus to explain her reasoning or moral compass, but should she feel that it's relevent (as she's already mentioned it and it has significant bearing on the current situation), then perhaps there is?

    What I meant, and perhaps I was too entwined in my little rant to realise; is that the onus is on the OP to provide us with all the information if we're expected to make an informed response.

    The reason for the 'rant' as you've also elaborated on is that it's unusual, or at least unexpected which is why I picked up on it. Never ridicule a man for asking a question, no matter how silly it may seem. There may sometimes be method behind the madness.
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    Yeah, ok. I'm just wary of this thread becoming a debate about the morality of abortion, which it shouldn't be. If the OP wants advice about what to do in the situation she's in having ruled out abortion then it should really aim at that.
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    That's fair enough. As I'm sure I've already explained, my concern lies in whether the OP is a troll or not, rather than her views surrounding abortion.

    As it stands, it appears I'm not alone in my cynicism.
 
 
 
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