Should I just have sex for the sake of getting my virginity out of the way?

I'm a 21 year old virgin and I'v spent the past (legal) 5 years of my life thinkin about sex. Thing is, I hvn't found a guy. I did have a boyfriend a few years back and I loved him, bt we never got that far cos we wer both really shy. Now Im still very shy and absolutely petrified of sex- I don't really have a clue and I honestly feel more worried about it now than I eva did before because I have the (wrong or not) impression that everyone my age lost their virginity yearz n yearz ago.

There's a guy at the moment I fancy (bt I don't think we'll ever be in a relationship together becoz it's too complicated) and I'm tempted to just 'get it over with' becoz he's expressed that kind of interest in me and I figure then I'll know what the fuss is about and then maybe I'll start feeling more confident in myself. I always figured I should be confident (and sexually active) by the time I was 21 anyway so I'm not really sure what to do.

I feel like I'd rather get it outta the way than wait til I'm god knows how old and in a serious relationship cos that could be ages away. This guy is just someone I feel physically attractd to bt nothin else. So I'm nt sure what to do.

Reply 1

Helenia

20

If you like and trust him and would be comfortable with him knowing you were a virgin and that he would take things slowly, then if that's what you want to do, go for it. But personally I'd still hold out for something better than that.

Reply 2

randomgirl

14

Well if you don't think that you will live to regret it, then go for it.

But if you have even one little bit of doubt, don't do it and just wait for the right guy.

Go for it.

I'm going to say no, because you'll be scared and uncomfortable if you're doing it just to get it "out of the way".

Waiting may not seem like a great option now, but when you finnd someone who's "right" for you, then it'll be so much better...

However, I can not tell you what you can and can not do, the decision is yours. All we can do on here is advise you - some will say go for it, others will say wait. The end decision is yours.

Reply 5

Rubix

Dont think so
save it for some1 special.
thas what im doing.

Reply 6

francescarella

18

umm i think the phrase "to get it out of the way" will deter sum ppl. but i think that if u trust him and you wont regret and you feel completely ready and comfortable, then go for it.

Reply 7

Meep!

9

You shouldn't do it just to get it out of the way, you should do it because you really want to. If you think this guy is worth it, then go for it, but if not, don't just have sex with him so you can say 'I've had sex', it's not worth it.

From what you've said, I'd wait if I were you.

Reply 8

Irrelevance

16

Usually, i'd say, "It's just sex, why does it matter"

On the other hand, you did mention about your potential next big relationship. Personally speaking, i think you'd rather have sex then than a random moment in time.

So wait and relax. I know older people who are still virgins. Much older people.

Reply 9

Zoecb

11

Sure, go for it if you think he'd make you feel comfortable.

Reply 10

Segat1

16

Well, look, he's expressed an interest in you. Take it slowly, and you coul dhave a nice relationship. You don't have to strip naked and hang from the chandelier with whipped cream on your lady garden bellowing "Come and get it, big boy".

Reply 11

PippaLove

Meh, you could just do it to get it out of the way. I did. But to be honest it didn't really count as sex. Having sex when your in you're in Love will be you REAL first time, aand that's worth waiting for :smile:

And you WON'T be shy when the time is right. You'll see.

Reply 12

silverbolt

19

Segat1

Well, look, he's expressed an interest in you. Take it slowly, and you coul dhave a nice relationship. You don't have to strip naked and hang from the chandelier with whipped cream on your lady garden bellowing "Come and get it, big boy".

now theres an image!!!!!

Op it really does depend on your view of virginity, if you think its something special to be given to a special person then no dont just "get it out of the way"

If however like many people you dont view virginity as anything that important then yes id say get it out the way, just explain to the guy and if he is decent im sure hel be gentle with ou.

Adn once it out the way you can start getting good at sex and gaining confidence and thats when it really becomes fun

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

No. Totally the wrong reason. 21 is not too old to still be a virgin and it is nothing to be ashamed of. The idea that virginity is something to be disposed of at the earliest opportunity is a sad inditement of today's society. When you are with someone you deeply care about you'll bitterly regret wasting it on anybody who showed the slightest inkling of fancying you. You WILL find a man who you adore and feel confident with and then it will feel both natural and comfortable.The emotional fall out of having sex with someone to 'get rid of it' will likely tarnish the relief of 'getting it over with.' Wait for someone special- it'll be worth it! Btw I have been there and I waited and lost my virginity to my current boyfriend and it's two years since then and I'm happy with the decision. All my friends who waited for that 'special someone' are happy with their decision but those who jumped into bed as soon as possible universally regret it.

Reply 14

Melting Sugar.

14

Losing your virginity just for the sake of it is the worst reason really, despite your age. However if its something you want to do and you both feel comfortable then do what you think is right.

Reply 15

Ken321

7

Don't do it.
Make sure your first time is comfortable and with someone you are truly ready to be intimate with...if the guy doesn't know foreplay, you'll also be traumatized.

Reply 16

7Magpies

Don't do it. It's really not worth doing it until you WANT to do it with THAT PERSON. If you don't really want to sleep with him, you just want to get it out of the way, then you probably won't enjoy it anyway. Sex with someone you love is worth the wait.

Should I just have sex for the sake of getting my virginity out of the way?

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