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Feel lonely and depressed after first year...can it get better?

Hi,

I feel unhappy at university. I have barely any friends, and no-one I can go and do stuff with. My flatmates are mostly quiet and don't talk to me, when I tried to talk to them it felt difficult and awkward and I was always the person initiating conversation which I find SO hard as I'm naturally a shy person. Also, most of the people in my flat are international/study abroad and were only here for the year... I had two people I hung around with in my flat during freshers, one was only here for a term and the other one doesn't seem interested in hanging out anymore when I ask, but we still chat in passing

I literally have no friends on my course, maybe a couple of acquaintances but that is literally it. I think a lot of people met course-mates through halls so I saw groups forming pretty much immediately on my course, but I didn't meet anyone from my course in my flat in halls.

I was hoping going to uni would give me a better social life than I had at home but I feel my social life is dwindling. I've been going to one club regularly during the year which has helped but other than that I haven't been spending time with anyone. My relationship just ended because my depression has got worse over exam season due to constant stress and being increasingly isolated, and not spending as much time with my boyfriend due to fear of failing my exams.

I'm going back into halls next year and I'm maybe going to try to join more clubs. I was wondering if it could get any better, because along with the stress of uni work, even though i get good grades, this year has been very challenging and dissapointing :frown:

What uni ?

I also have social anxiety and very poor social skills so trying to make precautions for things not to turn out like this, though I suspect it will after not making any friends from 2 years of college. Have you tried talking to people on your course. Clubs does sound like a good thing and I'm going to try join a few but will take me a while to get comfortable around people, and have no idea what regular people talk about

Reply 3

fire.fly

Original post by Gfigh

What uni ?

I don't really want to say what uni i go to

Reply 4

fire.fly

Original post by Brocolli123

I'm sorry to hear this. Its reassuring that someone else feels a similar way, though. I dont know that I necessarily have social anxiety as I dont experience any physical symptoms or panic attacks, and don't have issues with stuff like going to shops and getting on buses and things. I do avoid making phone calls though and i also lack social skills and have a fear of social rejection which means I don't like to make the first move which usually means it doesn't happen.

Honestly, my uni course has 200+ people who mostly have formed groups and trying to force myself into a group that has already formed is just uncomfortable and I would just feel like an outsider. I'm always sat next to different people too and theres such little contact time at uni that it doesnt really bother me too much to sit in lectures and things alone.

As for clubs, its definitely worth pushing yourself to join them if you can. I regretted not joining more during freshers and the people I met in the club have honestly made me feel so welcome and just its the one thing thats kept me here

Feel lonely and depressed after first year...can it get better?

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