The Student Room Group

need advice - kissed a guy for a bet

Alright so I was at this pretty big party last night and was just joking around with some of my mates about sexuality n stuff. One of them then said that I'm apparently so scared of not being straight that I wouldn't kiss a guy for twenty quid. I, slightly drunk and incredibly skint, decided to prove him wrong.

So I approached this bloke who's pretty good looking and openly bisexual. Talked/flirted for a bit then snogged him. Dashed off with a lame excuse and got my money.

But now he's sent me a message on facebook, saying that he had a good time last night and asking me to meet up for coffee. I could've seen this coming honestly because we had a nice chat (and also a pretty nice kiss) and I'm just not sure what to do? I feel a bit bad about "using" him like this, so what should I say?

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you disgust me
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Alright so I was at this pretty big party last night and was just joking around with some of my mates about sexuality n stuff. One of them then said that I'm apparently so scared of not being straight that I wouldn't kiss a guy for twenty quid. I, slightly drunk and incredibly skint, decided to prove him wrong.

So I approached this bloke who's pretty good looking and openly bisexual. Talked/flirted for a bit then snogged him. Dashed off with a lame excuse and got my money.

But now he's sent me a message on facebook, saying that he had a good time last night and asking me to meet up for coffee. I could've seen this coming honestly because we had a nice chat (and also a pretty nice kiss) and I'm just not sure what to do? I feel a bit bad about "using" him like this, so what should I say?
:rofl:

Just tell him you were drunk and you're not interested.
Don't be a walloper and just be honest that he was a bet. Or be a coward, make up some excuse and wait till he finds out.
(edited 5 years ago)
Say you were drunk and don't know what he's talking about?
But yeah, you shouldn't have used him like that
it's difficult to believe that such cliched scenarios can actually happen in real life. I think it would be cruel to let him think that you're into him, just let him know that it wasn't anything serious and he'll probably hate you, but it's better than going along with it and fooling him.
Pretty gay night out i would say,

lay off the drinks, or come out the closet.....

which ever you prefer.....
Reply 7
Just say that you have a GIRLFRIEND. Make him know that you're not straight therefore he won't be attracted to you as much.
just say you were so wasted that you dont remember
(as i was saying) since it was a "nice" chat and kiss why not give him a go? But you should tell him you were drunk ofc
Wow news flash, I can't believe what I just read.
Ugh yes I'm feeling pretty bad about this, and I should definitely tell him but maybe just not in a facebook message? He seems like a decent lad and I don't want to hurt him in any way and text breakups (though I wouldn't say this is a breakup) are a bit harsh? Or do you not think so?
And should I be honest about the bet or pretend not to remember? I feel like both are bad options urgh

Btw I'm not gay or anything I just think that when you're kissing the gender doesn't really matter? He looks a bit like a girl and shaves and stuff so I barely noticed a difference, maybe also because I was drunk
Original post by WillyNillyBilly
(as i was saying) since it was a "nice" chat and kiss why not give him a go? But you should tell him you were drunk ofc


I have to admit I'm tempted to get coffee with him but mostly because he seems nice I think, I've always felt like we could be friends but because we don't have many mutual friends and take different subjects except one we don't talk a lot at school. But then I might be getting his hopes up (or maybe I have already)
Twenty years later you guys will be happily married with two adoptive kids and you'll still remember the dumb bet that started it all.
well first off you're a ******** for using him like that, but are you interested or not? - you did say it was nice. i'd just tell him exactly what you put here: that you did it for a bet but you still enjoyed it, and if he can forgive you for that then maybe you're in with a chance, eh? :wink:
Definitely tell him it was a bet and that you were drunk. The earlier you tell the truth, the less hurt you'll both be. As a bi guy myself I'd be horribly hurt if I thought someone was interested in me when they were just stringing me along because they were too embarrassed to admit it was a bet.

As for telling him face to face vs telling him over facebook message - I feel like that's up to you? The nice thing to do would be to tell him directly, especially if you might be interested in being friends with this guy, but I wouldn't fault you either for saying it over facebook because it was just a drunken kiss and not any real commitment. Pick the one you're more comfortable with, I guess.
Okay yeah thanks everybody! I think I'm gonna tell him face to face as I feel like that's the more decent option here and I've been a real **** towards him by using him like that so I gotta do this even though I'm a little scared. Gonna type him a message now, agreeing to his plan without giving him false hope...

Also why's everyone here think I'm gay?
Aww that sucks, maybe you want to try it again? I don't why don't you give it a shot again, come on go a head
Don't tell him it was for a bet but tell him you were really drunk and that you're straight.
Alright so I messaged him, saying that I want to meet up to talk about what happened. Really hoping I'm not giving him false hope here - online communication's never been my forte (I mean look at me I'm asking for romantic advice on TSR out of all places). He replied almost instantly suggesting we meet up tomorrow, a bit eager perhaps but best to get it over with I suppose.

That leaves me with one day to decide whether I'm gonna tell him bout the bet or not. On one hand I want to be honest, because I've already used him so don't wanna lie to him as well, but then on the other hand he's probably not going to find out anyway? But then again we did talk last night so I don't think I can play the pissed-beyond-thinking card...

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