need advice - kissed a guy for a bet Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
Report Thread starter 11 months ago
#21
Alright so I messaged him, saying that I want to meet up to talk about what happened. Really hoping I'm not giving him false hope here - online communication's never been my forte (I mean look at me I'm asking for romantic advice on TSR out of all places). He replied almost instantly suggesting we meet up tomorrow, a bit eager perhaps but best to get it over with I suppose.

That leaves me with one day to decide whether I'm gonna tell him bout the bet or not. On one hand I want to be honest, because I've already used him so don't wanna lie to him as well, but then on the other hand he's probably not going to find out anyway? But then again we did talk last night so I don't think I can play the pissed-beyond-thinking card...
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ThomH97
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#22
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#22
Tell him you have a boyfriend. He won't want to see you again, and won't feel used.
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ValiantChan
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#23
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#23
Don't lie. Seriously, don't lie. Whatever you do, don't tell him you have a boyfriend, that's a horrible idea. Even if he thinks you're now romantically off limits, there's a good chance he'll want to become friends with you because in my experience, unless the other person is a complete *******, LGBT+ people will want to stick together. Birds of a feather, flock together. And if he does want to become friends with you, now you have to either come clean about being straight or you'll have to fake having a boyfriend, and neither sounds like a pleasant option.

My opinion is that it'd be better to tell him that it was a bet. It'll be hurtful, but in case you two do end up being friends it's not gonna be a situation of your other friends going 'hey isn't that the guy you snogged for a bet'. Or maybe I'm just an overly honest person. If the guy's reasonable, he'll probably accept that people do dumb bets when they're drunk - if not, you probably will never have to talk to him again anyways.
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by ValiantChan)
Don't lie. Seriously, don't lie. Whatever you do, don't tell him you have a boyfriend, that's a horrible idea. Even if he thinks you're now romantically off limits, there's a good chance he'll want to become friends with you because in my experience, unless the other person is a complete *******, LGBT+ people will want to stick together. Birds of a feather, flock together. And if he does want to become friends with you, now you have to either come clean about being straight or you'll have to fake having a boyfriend, and neither sounds like a pleasant option.

My opinion is that it'd be better to tell him that it was a bet. It'll be hurtful, but in case you two do end up being friends it's not gonna be a situation of your other friends going 'hey isn't that the guy you snogged for a bet'. Or maybe I'm just an overly honest person. If the guy's reasonable, he'll probably accept that people do dumb bets when they're drunk - if not, you probably will never have to talk to him again anyways.
Aw yes thank you so much! I just found out that one of my friend's filmed the whole deal, complete with commentary that reveals it was for a bet. I've made him promise not to show anyone but I wouldn't be too surprised if it gets out anyway - we don't know each other very well and he seems pretty fickle.

So yes I'd best be honest, even if that might result in me getting punched in the face - probably deserve that, anyway.
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Hmcvey20
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#25
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#25
Bit gay mate
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Anonymous #1
#26
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#26
Ah c'mon why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not gay! It was for a bet and yes, I may have enjoyed it (a little) but I was drunk so? Nothing wrong with that right?
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Hmcvey20
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#27
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If you enjoyed it then it’s gay mate sorry for the revelation
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999tigger
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
Alright so I was at this pretty big party last night and was just joking around with some of my mates about sexuality n stuff. One of them then said that I'm apparently so scared of not being straight that I wouldn't kiss a guy for twenty quid. I, slightly drunk and incredibly skint, decided to prove him wrong.

So I approached this bloke who's pretty good looking and openly bisexual. Talked/flirted for a bit then snogged him. Dashed off with a lame excuse and got my money.

But now he's sent me a message on facebook, saying that he had a good time last night and asking me to meet up for coffee. I could've seen this coming honestly because we had a nice chat (and also a pretty nice kiss) and I'm just not sure what to do? I feel a bit bad about "using" him like this, so what should I say?
Yes, but only for £20 ofc.
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Anonymous #1
#29
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#29
Sorry to bother yous but I just came back from my meeting with him.

I just explained everything honestly. He handled it quite well, seemed a little disappointed but said that he understood. However, I'd made the grave mistake of mentioning that the bet involved me kissing a guy for ten seconds, and we'd kissed, well, a bit longer than that. He asked me about that and I was gonna play it cool, but my face turned incredibly red - why??? I was also suddenly unable to come up with an excuse, because frankly there isn't one, so I ended up awkwardly mumbling something about him being a good kisser. Man, I should shoot myself.
Anyway, the rest of the afternoon was nice, we talked about lots of things and even though we lead very different lives we appear to have a lot in common. I'm generally a bit awkward around people I don't know very well, but after that initial situation I didn't feel awkward at all. Conversation seemed to flow naturally and I reckon we might become friends .

We also exchanged phone numbers and I'm considering messaging him. Should I, or would that be weird? I've just made it clear to him that I'm not romantically interested and maybe it would send across the wrong kind of message if I reached out already?
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Hmcvey20
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#30
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#30
Your gay af man just accept it, there’s nothing wrong with it .
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
(Original post by Hmcvey20)
Your gay af man just accept it, there’s nothing wrong with it .
Don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just that I'm not. I've had girlfriends before.
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ANM775
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
Also why's everyone here think I'm gay?


You passionately kissed another male for one

you also said it was a pretty darn good kiss, said you didn't really mind it either and have been very complimentary about the guy in general

you're kidding yourself if you think you are straight, you are at the very least bi
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ANM775
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#33
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I know a guy like this tbh

on a night out he got chatting to two girls and a gay guy, he was after the two girls, the girls were bi or something so he asked them to kiss each other in front of him ...but they refused ...and only agreed to do it if he passionately kissed their gay friend first. The guy in question kissed the gay friend and tbh went a bit overboard with it like the OP did. He then asked the girls to kiss, and they refused, ..he then asked for their numbers ...and the girls refused and started saying why would i give my number to a gay dude...
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ValiantChan
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#34
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I mean. Asking two girls to kiss and put on a show for your own pleasure is quite honestly a pretty rude thing to do. Sounds like they were messing with that guy and I can't fault them for being annoyed, really.

And OP, you might be gay, you might be bi, you might be a straight guy who happened to enjoy a kiss with another guy. Sexuality's a lot less rigid than people think, and one kiss doesn't necessarily mean you have to immediately switch labels. Take it from a bi guy - don't pay too much attention to people insisting you're gay here, because I find that folks on TSR aren't always very well educated on LGBT+ issues.

If you figure out later you're bi, great! If you're absolutely certain you're straight, also great! Don't sweat it too much, labels aren't as important as people make them out to be.

And because I realised no one actually answered your question about reaching out to the guy now; I don't think it'd be too weird? Seems like the kind of thing friends (or friends-to-be) would do, really. Maybe just send him a simple "really enjoyed our chat, you seem like a cool guy! hope we can talk more in the future!"
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Anonymous #3
#35
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#35
Go for the coffee, tell him you think he’s great and you enjoyed and appreciate the kiss but don’t feel like going beyond that because you’re not bisexual or gay…

Whatever you do just don’t make it seem like it’s his fault and be 100% clear that it won’t happen again
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Anonymous #1
#36
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#36
(Original post by ANM775)
You passionately kissed another male for one

you also said it was a pretty darn good kiss, said you didn't really mind it either and have been very complimentary about the guy in general

you're kidding yourself if you think you are straight, you are at the very least bi
Yeah can't really argue with this except that I was drunk so maybe that made the kiss more enjoyable? And I just like him as a person, not necessarily in a romantic way...

And I just feel like being gay simply doesn't suit me. This may sound a bit stereotypical but I'm pretty manly and I don't like 'gay' things such as make up and eurovision.
Then there's the obvious burden of dating a boy. Having to tell your friends and family (what if they'd start treating me differently? I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't be too pleased), not being able to hold hands in public because people might harrass you or something, and all that.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this, though, because the bottom line is that the idea of having a guys **** up my arse disgusts me, and therefore I cannot be gay (right?)
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interruptin cow
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#37
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#37
lmaooooooooo time to get a boyfriend bigman
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by ValiantChan)
I mean. Asking two girls to kiss and put on a show for your own pleasure is quite honestly a pretty rude thing to do. Sounds like they were messing with that guy and I can't fault them for being annoyed, really.

And OP, you might be gay, you might be bi, you might be a straight guy who happened to enjoy a kiss with another guy. Sexuality's a lot less rigid than people think, and one kiss doesn't necessarily mean you have to immediately switch labels. Take it from a bi guy - don't pay too much attention to people insisting you're gay here, because I find that folks on TSR aren't always very well educated on LGBT+ issues.

If you figure out later you're bi, great! If you're absolutely certain you're straight, also great! Don't sweat it too much, labels aren't as important as people make them out to be.

And because I realised no one actually answered your question about reaching out to the guy now; I don't think it'd be too weird? Seems like the kind of thing friends (or friends-to-be) would do, really. Maybe just send him a simple "really enjoyed our chat, you seem like a cool guy! hope we can talk more in the future!"
Thank you so much! Really appreciate this reply.

I don't think I'd be too bothered personally if I turned out to be something else than straight, it's just that I'm not sure how people around me would react (as you can read in my previous post). I know I shouldn't care about that but my mates are all kind of lad-ish y'know.

That might be what I like about him, I feel like I'm somehow different from my friends and I think he might be the same (not sexuality-wise). My mates, for instance, think it's alright to break up with a girl over text, and they straighed up laughed at me when I said I'd rather finish reading my book than watch some football match.

I reached out to him yesterday and we've been chatting for a bit, sometimes he takes hours to reply but I guess he's just revising for exams?
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Anonymous #1
#39
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(Original post by ANM775)
I know a guy like this tbh

on a night out he got chatting to two girls and a gay guy, he was after the two girls, the girls were bi or something so he asked them to kiss each other in front of him ...but they refused ...and only agreed to do it if he passionately kissed their gay friend first. The guy in question kissed the gay friend and tbh went a bit overboard with it like the OP did. He then asked the girls to kiss, and they refused, ..he then asked for their numbers ...and the girls refused and started saying why would i give my number to a gay dude...
So what happened to him next? Did he turn out to be gay?
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Y12_FurtherMaths
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#40
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Change name move country
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