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Hot and cold- argh

I posted a thread I think a week ago on the guy I asked out via a card but who didn't say anything.

So I thought he was avoiding me but he saw me at the train station last Monday. I was in my own world with music in so he waved right under my face and stopped me to ask how I was doing. He was very smiley and he was looking me in the eye as opposed to the last time I saw him.

I gave him an Easter card today but he wasn't too chatty and seemed a bit distant, though he said he wasn't okay at the time. He can get quite distant though sometimes, and often acts like he hasn't seen me when other people are around.

I just don't get it- what the hell does this mean?! I was on the phone to my mum a while ago and she said he could just be being polite but is still feeling uncomfortable, but then why did he stop me at the train station when I couldn't even see him? He could've walked away.

I always pick the confusing moody men!!!

I'm thinking about sending him an email to ask if he feels awkward about our relationship.

Maybe he's shy.

Play it cool yourself, it might help in getting him to open up a bit more :smile:

Reply 3

mollymustard

Maybe hes just unsure about what he wants being your ex-lecturer and that.

I don't think its necessary to email him, just see what happens and if things progress.

Reply 4

Ar5enal Fan

It could be that he's just shy. Also, maybe he wants to just be friends with you? That's why he stopped to talk to you that time, but at other times he feels a bit scared to talk to you because you want to go out with him?

Reply 5

hannah_dru

That's why I was gonna send an email- just to say that if he is shy then I'm very happy being friends.

Reply 6

Jayjayjay

I agree. Maybe give him some more time.... Maybe you could suggest something nearer the end of term. But leave things be until then =o)

The e-mail may be a bit like you are bothering him, not in a mean way but you have sent two cards now and an e-mail. If he is shy it may seem like a lot of attention to him perhaps?

Reply 7

hannah_dru

Yeah that does make sense. When I told my mum about him being friendly at the train station she said that maybe he needs to take things at his own pace. The end of term thing sounds like a good idea. Mum said maybe invite him and one of the female lecturers out with me.

I'd just like to know if he is offended I guess. Sometimes it seems like he's not into me and that I've weirded him out, and other times he's friendly.

Reply 8

Jayjayjay

I don't think he is offended but well, maybe put yourself in his position. How do you react to the situation...? Or if you were minding your own business one day and a lecturer admitted they liked you - even if you found them attractive it may throw you at first. I think your mum is right =o) and it isnt necessarily the end.

A few end of term drinks or coffee or a meal etc may go down well.

Reply 9

hannah_dru

Yeah I get that. No- I mean I thought last semester that at the end of his last lecture that'd be it, but even after he stopped teaching me I've still seen him loads.

I hope so. I love the subjects he specialises in and I'd love to have a long chat about it even if it didn't result in anything else. (Although that would be nice.)