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    I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years and we get on great, yet I still feel threatened by his ex. She was nice looking, had a better a car and dressed sexier - but she also turned funny on me for 'muscling in' on her ex even though she ended it. She tried to split us up big time in the beginning which ended up him ignoring her since then.

    He bumped into her a few months ago and I was worried he may have had his old feelings come back. My boyfriend suspects I still have a problem with her. She works at the local supermarket and I sometimes have seen her which I have a panic attack as a result and my brother says I shake when I see her (my boyfriend don't know this). The reality is she has no friends at all and doesn't have much going for her so I don't know why I feel threatened by her.
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    do you trust your boyfriend?
    if the answers yes then keep reminding yourself hes with you for a reason. make a big issue of this and it will drive you apart
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    Seriously, don't feel threatened! Do you think your boyfriend will find that attractive? No! so just be at ease with it! Your fantastic!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years and we get on great, yet I still feel threatened by his ex. She was nice looking, had a better a car and dressed sexier - but she also turned funny on me for 'muscling in' on her ex even though she ended it. She tried to split us up big time in the beginning which ended up him ignoring her since then.

    He bumped into her a few months ago and I was worried he may have had his old feelings come back. My boyfriend suspects I still have a problem with her. She works at the local supermarket and I sometimes have seen her which I have a panic attack as a result and my brother says I shake when I see her (my boyfriend don't know this). The reality is she has no friends at all and doesn't have much going for her so I don't know why I feel threatened by her.
    Wow it never surprises me just how materialistic some are. Well she must be a way better person if her car is better than yours :rolleyes: If you're than insecure you need to open up the communication leads between you two, a relationship is just **** without trust.
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    Um...I think the simple answer is that he's been with you for three years. He wouldn't have done that if he wanted someone else. Seriously, I used to worry about one of my boyfriend's past girlfriends (he loved her, she became a lesbian and dumped him, it's a whole boring story). Then I found out what a pretentious freak she has turned into and stopped worrying, because I knew that my boyfriend actually finds such people repellent. Hah.

    My point (before I got sidetracked...) was that you should think about why your boyfriend loves you, and why he wouldn't want to get back with her. He didn't speak to her for years, so I'd say it's nigh-on impossible that he feels anything for her anymore. While I definitely identify with your feelings, my best advice is to try as hard as you can to get over it - it doesn't sound as if you've got anything to fret about.
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    For your sake I hope your boyfriend doesn't date you for your car and how sexy you dress.
    There is a reason she is his ex, even if she dumped him and there is a reason he is with you now. If you trust your boyfriend you needn't worry. Surely you should worry about all the other women out there who he hasn't met yet :p:

    Obviously we all feel threatened at some point by someone muscling in on our relationship but its better to forget these irrational feelings because its more likely to cause a rift between the person your with.
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    If you bf doesn't bat an eyelid when he see's her or even if you mention her then don't worry because it might mean he's not that interested.

    If you don't think he's bothered, then try not to worry too much.
    Don't try to cling on to him too much though, because if you get too clingy you will push him away.
 
 
 
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