The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
...GiNuWiNe...
this is my sentence
the rewards achieved out of helping those in need are _________ (i used entangible)
any1 gt any ideas?


it would be 'intangible'

"The rewards achieved from helping those in need are immeasurable".
Reply 2
thankkksss!!
wait and this one....
but being a 5 year old child, (following- insert a better word) surgery and influenced by my mother's (experience- insert better word here) as a former medical student...

insert better words plz? :rolleyes:
Reply 3
What's wrong with 'following' and 'experience?':smile: But 'being' might be better as 'as':

'but as a 5 year old child, following surgery and influenced by my mother's former experience as a medical student'

Try www.dictionary.com, that has a pretty good thesaurus.
Reply 4
...GiNuWiNe...
thankkksss!!
wait and this one....
but being a 5 year old child, (following- insert a better word) surgery and influenced by my mother's (experience- insert better word here) as a former medical student...

insert better words plz? :rolleyes:


don't even know what the sentence is so can't help there
Reply 5
marabara
don't even know what the sentence is so can't help there



.....isnt it obvious to figure out????
Reply 6
...GiNuWiNe...
.....isnt it obvious to figure out????


no

for a start "being a 5 year old child", I guess you're about 18 now

second not sure what your mother's experience as a student is doing - is it helping you with an injury/illness, or encouraging you to study

you've only half a sentence there, its impossible to suggest the appropriate words
Reply 7
ok here it is
Twelve years ago, I encountered this first hand during a surgery performed on my leg which had been the outcome of falling over in a playground. Before then, the dream of becoming a basketball player dazzled my mind, but being a five year old child, following surgery, and influenced by my mother's experience as a former medical student, my mind became enriched in thoughts of working in the field of medicine
Reply 8
...GiNuWiNe...
this is my sentence
the rewards achieved out of helping those in need are _________ (i used entangible)
any1 gt any ideas?

Synonyms for "intangible".
abstracted, astral, calming, chimerical, daydreaming, dreamlike, excellent, fanciful, fantastic, gentle, idealistic, imaginary, immaterial, impractical, intangible, introspective, introvertive, lulling, marvelous, misty, musing, mythical, nightmarish, otherworldly, pensive, phantasmagoric, phantasmagorical, preoccupied, quixotic, relaxing, romantic, shadowy, soothing, speculative, unreal, unsubstantial, utopian, vague, visionary, whimsical

Synonyms for "immeasurable".
amaranthine, boundless, ceaseless, constant, continual, continuous, countless, deathless, enduring, eternal, everlasting, illimitable, immeasurable, immortal, incalculable, incessant, indeterminate, infinite, interminable, limitless, measureless, monotonous, multitudinous, never-ending, numberless, overlong, perpetual, self-perpetuating, unbounded, unbroken, undivided, undying, unending, unfathomable, uninterrupted, unlimited, unsurpassable, untold, without end

You could replace "out of" with "from"
Reply 9
Douglas
Synonyms for "intangible".
abstracted, astral, calming, chimerical, daydreaming, dreamlike, excellent, fanciful, fantastic, gentle, idealistic, imaginary, immaterial, impractical, intangible, introspective, introvertive, lulling, marvelous, misty, musing, mythical, nightmarish, otherworldly, pensive, phantasmagoric, phantasmagorical, preoccupied, quixotic, relaxing, romantic, shadowy, soothing, speculative, unreal, unsubstantial, utopian, vague, visionary, whimsical

Synonyms for "immeasurable".
amaranthine, boundless, ceaseless, constant, continual, continuous, countless, deathless, enduring, eternal, everlasting, illimitable, immeasurable, immortal, incalculable, incessant, indeterminate, infinite, interminable, limitless, measureless, monotonous, multitudinous, never-ending, numberless, overlong, perpetual, self-perpetuating, unbounded, unbroken, undivided, undying, unending, unfathomable, uninterrupted, unlimited, unsurpassable, untold, without end

You could replace "out of" with "from"




what the.......................... :eek:
Reply 10
...GiNuWiNe...
ok here it is
Twelve years ago, I encountered this first hand during a surgery performed on my leg which had been the outcome of falling over in a playground. Before then, the dream of becoming a basketball player dazzled my mind, but being a five year old child, following surgery, and influenced by my mother's experience as a former medical student, my mind became enriched in thoughts of working in the field of medicine


its awful

I can't even adjust it, as something remotely similar to that just should not be in a PS, namely:

- long sentences
- references to childhood, and descriptions of injuries suffered
- references to what parents did at university
- your dream of becoming a basketball player - wtf did this come from?!

I'd just delete all that, and start again. Sorry to be harsh, but you're asking for opinions.
marabara
its awful

I can't even adjust it, as something remotely similar to that just should not be in a PS, namely:

- long sentences
- references to childhood, and descriptions of injuries suffered
- references to what parents did at university
- your dream of becoming a basketball player - wtf did this come from?!

I'd just delete all that, and start again. Sorry to be harsh, but you're asking for opinions.




well your opinion is irrelevant to what all teachers @ my college have said...so thanks and no thanks.
Reply 12
...GiNuWiNe...
ok here it is
Twelve years ago, I encountered this first hand during a surgery performed on my leg which had been the outcome of falling over in a playground. Before then, the dream of becoming a basketball player dazzled my mind, but being a five year old child, following surgery, and influenced by my mother's experience as a former medical student, my mind became enriched in thoughts of working in the field of medicine


I think that's quite good - at least it's unique.

Disregard what marabara said.
...GiNuWiNe...
well your opinion is irrelevant to what all teachers @ my college have said...so thanks and no thanks.


Well I think the teachers might be a teensy bit wrong there, i've got a respected past admissions tutor looking over my shoulder and he agrees with marabara.. again, not being personal or purposefully mean, but we cant just go "oh yes its wonderful" If you want a place in medicine, it needs improving, Its uber-competetive
Reply 14
...GiNuWiNe...
well your opinion is irrelevant to what all teachers @ my college have said...so thanks and no thanks.


so why are you asking on here then?
Savage Noodles
Well I think the teachers might be a teensy bit wrong there, i've got a respected past admissions tutor looking over my shoulder and he agrees with marabara.. again, not being personal or purposefully mean, but we cant just go "oh yes its wonderful" If you want a place in medicine, it needs improving, Its uber-competetive




well i have had good teachers look over it and have said it is excellent except for a few things that need changing.
Reply 16
...GiNuWiNe...
well i have had good teachers look over it and have said it is excellent except for a few things that need changing.


again, I ask, why are you asking for opinions here if you're not going to listen to them? even to the opinion of someone who was an actual admissions tutor?

I'm not trying to insult you personally, but help you - that para was dreadful, so if you insist on leaving it in, at least break up the long sentence into two so its readable
marabara
again, I ask, why are you asking for opinions here if you're not going to listen to them? even to the opinion of someone who was an actual admissions tutor?

I'm not trying to insult you personally, but help you - that para was dreadful, so if you insist on leaving it in, at least break up the long sentence into two so its readable




i knw what u mean...but i have to confirm with my english teacher..because i dont want to go changing things and then they will think that its nt as good, but ill take your advice and change it in their presence ......thanks :wink:
Reply 18
marabara


I can't even adjust it, as something remotely similar to that just should not be in a PS, namely:

- references to childhood


Surely, not all referances to childhood?
LS.
Surely, not all referances to childhood?



well im building character to the PS making it more interesting and most significantly stating what got me involved in medicine