Pressured Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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I've always felt quite lucky with my friends because we're all very close and are all at the same stage with guys etc (all virgins) and so for years I never felt pressured to lose my virginity. Now suddenly they all have boyfriends and I'm the only virgin 'left'. Although they have never pressured me to lose mine or made me feel stupid because I'm still a virgin, actually now I feel that it's me that's putting the pressure on myself because I feel like such a loser for being the only one left. I don't have a boyfriend but I could quite easily lose my virginity with one of my guy mates but I don't know if I want that or not. What can you do when you are your own worst enemy?!
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dh00001
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#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
dont be pushed into it. do it when you feel ready and want to do it. theres snothing wrong with being a virgin. chances are you arent the only one left anyway
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Amy_J
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always felt quite lucky with my friends because we're all very close and are all at the same stage with guys etc (all virgins) and so for years I never felt pressured to lose my virginity. Now suddenly they all have boyfriends and I'm the only virgin 'left'. Although they have never pressured me to lose mine or made me feel stupid because I'm still a virgin, actually now I feel that it's me that's putting the pressure on myself because I feel like such a loser for being the only one left. I don't have a boyfriend but I could quite easily lose my virginity with one of my guy mates but I don't know if I want that or not. What can you do when you are your own worst enemy?!
It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I would be willing to bet that if you just lost your virginity to someone for the sake of it, you wouldn't feel any better. You're not a loser for waiting for the right time, you want it to be special after all I expect.
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ßlαcksωαn
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#4
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Get over yourself?
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laura-rad
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#5
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There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. You shouldn't feel pressured to lose your virginity just because everyone around you is, wait until the timing's right and you'll feel so much better about it.
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Rock Fan
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#6
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It's only an issue if you make it one.
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Magnum Opus
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#7
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#7
you shouldn't pressurise yourself just because you're a virgin, if it's really because your friends aren't virgins then just think of the rest of the people in the world who are virgins. it's something you should be proud of and not throw away willy nilly, find a boyfriend who respects you first and take it from there
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femme
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#8
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Sometimes I actually envy my friends who are virgins :\ (one of them has actually been known to openly look down on us non-virgins), its not like its a bad thing I wouldnt be hasty to get it over with however, wait 'till the moment is right and the person too.
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*all-bran*
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#9
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#9
I think its wikid you're admitting to it because alot of girls wouldn't and just sleep with a lad, trying to make themselves believe they wanted to...but you clearly arent ready to yet, you want to do this for all the wrong reasons! Im not trying to preach.. im not saying 'wait till your in love' or wait for 'the one' because i dont think your first time has to follow they rules you'll find in a rom-com. i think just wait abit and when you feel ready to with a guy you trust and like, and you genuinely want to then go for it..
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x y z
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#10
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(Original post by Amy_J)
It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I would be willing to bet that if you just lost your virginity to someone for the sake of it, you wouldn't feel any better. You're not a loser for waiting for the right time, you want it to be special after all I expect.
I always wonder why people think that. In this day and age, there's a big social stigma attached to being a virgin. If the OP lost her virginity, she would lose the label and therefore could gain more confidence.
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***amy***
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#11
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I think all the people on here saying "you shouldn't feel pressure" are being unrealistic. I really sympathise cos i was in exactly the same position until very recently. there were 2 of us that were still virgins and we were 17 so it wasn't exactly really late but I put myself under a lot of pressure. my friends never made me feel like I should or anything, so I felt like an idiot for wanting to lose it. i was lucky as I then got a lovely bf and so don't regret it.

If you have a really nice guy mate who you totally trust then you could just sleep with him, but you might wish later in life that you'd waited for someone who you actually really liked. Nobody on a forum can make that decision for you.
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laura-rad
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#12
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For the record, I said the OP shouldn't feel pressured and I'm still a virgin myself :]
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Amy_J
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#13
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(Original post by x y z)
I always wonder why people think that. In this day and age, there's a big social stigma attached to being a virgin. If the OP lost her virginity, she would lose the label and therefore could gain more confidence.
Oh yeah you're right. She should just go off and lose her virginity to "one of her guy friends", and everything will be fine.
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x y z
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#14
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(Original post by Amy_J)
Oh yeah you're right. She should just go off and lose her virginity to "one of her guy friends", and everything will be fine.
I don't see why it shouldn't be...
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x y z
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#15
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(Original post by Carlos The Villan)
It's only an issue if you make it one.
Or if other people make it one.
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MSB
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#16
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#16
It all depends on if you're willing to fight an attitude, or go along with it. You can do well with either option.
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Kabloomybuzz
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#17
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#17
If you do it for the sake of doing you'll regret it. Your friends have boyfriends. They're in a relationship. Wait 'til you;re in a relationship with someone you trust and you feel ready to do it

I'm a virgin and I'm proud of it. I want to feel secure and happy in a relationship before I lose my virginity. I bet it just feels so much better when you're in love
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Alreeeet
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#18
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#18
(Original post by x y z)
I always wonder why people think that. In this day and age, there's a big social stigma attached to being a virgin. If the OP lost her virginity, she would lose the label and therefore could gain more confidence.
I do see where you're coming from completely. But she wouldnt feel any different as a person. She'll lose the label.. but really she's the same person without a hymen.

Not worth just doing it for the sake of the label. You arent being judged upon it.
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Rock Fan
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#19
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#19
(Original post by x y z)
Or if other people make it one.
Yes but again you can choose to ignore this, yes it affects people in different ways, other people making an issue out of a person being a virgin is quite frankly stupid.
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