The Student Room Group

Too scared to even kiss

I am an 18 year old girl who was raised with strict parents who made me believe boys were evil and to fear them/stay away from them. My sister and I never talked to our mom about boys, who we thought was cute on TV, nothing like that. It just wasent something that was talked about in our house, ever. And if they heard of one of our friends dating or anything they would say that friend is trouble and stop talking to them. I think it’s safe to say that Is where my severe social anxiety comes from. Not going to lie, I am a pretty girl and have always had guys interested in me. But I was never really boy crazy and was always too scared to sneak around so I just gave up and figured it was easier to stay home. I have lied to everyone in my life about this, but truth is I have never kissed anyone or done more than sit next to a guy on the couch and that made me sick with nerves. This weekend a guy I have really liked for a long time invited me to a party and i really want to go but i am worried if he tries to kiss me it is going to be so awkward because It is so unusual for an 18 year old cute girl to never have kissed anyone. I do not know what to do I really want to get it out of the way but I’m so nervous he’s going to be able to tell I’ve never done that before. Any advice is appreciated
Original post by Anonymous
I am an 18 year old girl who was raised with strict parents who made me believe boys were evil and to fear them/stay away from them. My sister and I never talked to our mom about boys, who we thought was cute on TV, nothing like that. It just wasent something that was talked about in our house, ever. And if they heard of one of our friends dating or anything they would say that friend is trouble and stop talking to them. I think it’s safe to say that Is where my severe social anxiety comes from. Not going to lie, I am a pretty girl and have always had guys interested in me. But I was never really boy crazy and was always too scared to sneak around so I just gave up and figured it was easier to stay home. I have lied to everyone in my life about this, but truth is I have never kissed anyone or done more than sit next to a guy on the couch and that made me sick with nerves. This weekend a guy I have really liked for a long time invited me to a party and i really want to go but i am worried if he tries to kiss me it is going to be so awkward because It is so unusual for an 18 year old cute girl to never have kissed anyone. I do not know what to do I really want to get it out of the way but I’m so nervous he’s going to be able to tell I’ve never done that before. Any advice is appreciated


Tell him then, if anything he’ll be over the moon he’s the first person
Oh. My. Word!! Do not stress out about being 18 and never been kissed!!! There are LOADS and LOADs of 18, 19, 20+ year olds who are in the same boat and most are attractive as well!! So take that one off your worry list - that is NOT something to worry about! I'm sorry if that is strongly worded but I read about people being concerned about how old they are on this forum all the time having never been kissed and I used to feel the same way. Now I'm older and I KNOW that it is nothing to worry about! It will happen when the time is right and that is at a different age for everyone. It doesn't make anyone abnormal and you are not the only one, or too old, by any means!

If this guy likes you and you are interested in return and he goes in for the kiss you can either kiss him or explain to him that you prefer to take things slow. If he likes you and you show any interest - even just having a good conversation with him - he is not going to care whether or not you kiss him. He'll respect you and be happy to have spent time with you. If he pushes kissing etc. and is 'disappointed', pouts, puts pressure on you then he isn't the guy you think he is.

Your mom is just trying to protect you but unfortunately it has the opposite effect and you are questioning what is right etc. At 18 if you want to kiss this guy then it is okay. Don't let it go further than that though for now. If you don't want to then as I said above that is okay too. I hope you have some good friends that you can talk to about your questions. If you don't have general anxiety then once you've kissed I think you'll quickly get over those nerves. It is pretty natural! Good Luck!

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