The Student Room Group

Flat Hunting Troubles

So I've been flat hunting throughout exam season for three first years, and right in the middle of exams our international student dropped out because of a worry that she couldn't come back next year. Now that my exams are over, I'm flat hunting for two.

I'm pretty socially incompetent and these two are basically the only people I see often, so I'm already sad that my one friend might not be back next year and can't live with us either way. Now I'm also worried that living with a really close friend without the buffer of another flat mate is going to strain our relationship. Both of us would feel more comfortable in a three bed flat. There are way more two bed than three bed flats available to students so that actual hunt has proved easy, but there are still some nice three bed flats floating about.

Everyone we know has already grouped up and the clock is kind of counting down. Me and my friend are both trans so a third person would ideally be LGBT to avoid awkwardness. We know this one person who is living in a homeless unit at the moment but I don't know their financial situation at the moment so it might be inappropriate to ask?

I'm likely just gonna buckle down and try for a two person flat, but I'd like some advice or sympathy or whatever in the meantime. I know this is really specific and dumb but I am a fragile little flower who crumbles at the first sign of interpersonal stress.
Original post by confused corvid
So I've been flat hunting throughout exam season for three first years, and right in the middle of exams our international student dropped out because of a worry that she couldn't come back next year. Now that my exams are over, I'm flat hunting for two.

I'm pretty socially incompetent and these two are basically the only people I see often, so I'm already sad that my one friend might not be back next year and can't live with us either way. Now I'm also worried that living with a really close friend without the buffer of another flat mate is going to strain our relationship. Both of us would feel more comfortable in a three bed flat. There are way more two bed than three bed flats available to students so that actual hunt has proved easy, but there are still some nice three bed flats floating about.

Everyone we know has already grouped up and the clock is kind of counting down. Me and my friend are both trans so a third person would ideally be LGBT to avoid awkwardness. We know this one person who is living in a homeless unit at the moment but I don't know their financial situation at the moment so it might be inappropriate to ask?

I'm likely just gonna buckle down and try for a two person flat, but I'd like some advice or sympathy or whatever in the meantime. I know this is really specific and dumb but I am a fragile little flower who crumbles at the first sign of interpersonal stress.


Hey,

It's okay to be worried, but I'm sure it'll be fine with you and your friend.

My advice would be to be honest with them and sensitive to their needs in the house. Keep it clean and tidy and try to keep up your share of chores and things like that - those are things that can really test people when you live together! You could always try to invite mutual friends round from time to time so you do have that extra company.

I would suggest keeping your independence and doing things on your own so you aren't spending all your time together, but making special time to spend together as you might do now, so you maintain your friendship. You said you're close, so I'm sure this will only make you closer!

If you still want to look for another person, I'd suggest posting in any Facebook groups you're a part of in your city or university. Is there an LGBT+ society/lib group where you could ask if anybody's still looking for a place to live? In my few years at uni, each time somebody has posted on a society's Facebook page asking the same, there has always been replies. Lots of things happen to people which mean they don't end up living where they'd hoped, they get left behind or they don't have a chance to search properly.

Good luck with it either way!

Ellie :smile:
Thanks Ellie,
I'm leaning towards searching for a 3rd at the moment. We are both pretty messy so I'm not really worried about chore disputes, I guess we'll just live in squalor. Its more that I'm worried we'll get sick of each of each other, which is why I think living with a 3rd person would balance us out. I'll try posting in a Facebook group, that's probably a good idea.

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