I need some advice...(rep for replies) Watch

limechateaux
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#21
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#21
Well that depends on whether you're planning on this break to end or not, perhaps wait and see what happens for a while? Although you're not doing anything wrong here.. yet.
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Jelkin
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#22
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#22
You need to decide what your priorities are - is the emotional welfare of your ex-girlfriend, as you say she means the world to you, more important to you than going out with this new girl? And you should definitely tell the new girl what happened if you do start dating her - otherwise you probably never will, and that's just dishonesty. Yes, you will be in some respects "the bad guy," but that's because you sort of were the bad guy. I don't imagine your potential future girlfriend will freak out about it too much.
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Anonymous #2
#23
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#23
Surely if your ex meant so much to you, you wouldn't have cheated on her...twice. Are you going to do the same thing to the next girl?
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
Surely if your ex meant so much to you, you wouldn't have cheated on her...twice. Are you going to do the same thing to the next girl?
If you had read properly, you would have seen that the first time, we had only been going out for 2 weeks, so weren't at all serious. The time just now was just after a break and i was all over the place (ok, so no excuse...)

Anyway, why anon? (I do have an excuse for it btw)
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Lizsco3
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#25
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#25
Your ex sounds a bit possessive. But she's your ex, and maybe it's time to move on. I'd take things slow with the new girl, so it doesn't seem as if it's just a rebound, and you could really get to know her beforehand. Maybe do something that isn't so 'date-ish'?
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Anonymous #2
#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
If you had read properly, you would have seen that the first time, we had only been going out for 2 weeks, so weren't at all serious. The time just now was just after a break and i was all over the place (ok, so no excuse...)

Anyway, why anon? (I do have an excuse for it btw)
But you said in your second post that you were together at the time. Sorry if I got that wrong. If you like this other girl, then go for it, but maybe you should start out slow to try and save your friendship with your ex, if thats what you want.
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Anonymous #3
#27
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#27
Hmmm, I was in a similar situation not so long ago. Had been going out with my ex for ages and got to know another guy. We were just friends but there was an attraction there. Anyway, I wasn't happy with my ex and we ended it. Just a few days later I ended up sleeping with the other guy. It was way too soon and I wish I had waited at least a month, because I got a bit clingy and posessive afterwards. We're still sort of seeing each other but things are very strange and I don't think they would have been if I had waited. I also felt guilty, as though I was cheating on my ex. But of course, we are no longer in contact and he doesn't know.
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Georgiahoneybee
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#28
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#28
Hmm yes that's a difficult situation.
Firstly, although you still care about your ex, from your post it seems fairly clear that you do not want to get back together with her. I know you say you want to be friends, but I think maybe it's a little soon for that and the best thing to do would be to completely cut off contact for a while whilst things cool off.
As for this other girl, well its completely up to you. Obviously you don't want to hurt your ex, but this other girl won't wait around forever and you do have to move on with your life. So really I think the question is are you ready to move on already, not will she be able to handle you two being together?
You need to do what is right for you, and if that is to wait a while before you get involved with another girl then do that- but I would explain this to the new girl so she knows. Whatever you decide regarding the new girl, I would, even just briefly you don't need to tell her the everything in detail, but explain the situation so she knows.
Good luck
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Anonymous #4
#29
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#29
@Anon#4: Your input to this thread is useless.
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bete noire
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#30
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#30
Personally, I would go for it, but not in a completely serious way, there's not need to jump straight from a serious relationship into another one. Go about things with this girl casually and if your ex complains well, explain to her that while you dont want to hurt her feelings you do want to pursue things with this girl and it is going to happen sooner or later than one of you sees someone else.
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
She did say to me that she didn't want me to see anyone else, and I respect that (if the shoe were on the other foot, I'd be upset no doubt) but surely she relinquished the right to tell me what to do when we ended? I'm definitely torn between looking after number one and not wanting to hurt my ex. I'm certainly not in it with this new girl for anything serious, certainly not right away. Don't worry, I'll be sure to let her know so I don't cause any more mess!
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bete noire
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#32
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#32
It may sound crafty and unfair but, you know, you could just keep things on the down low so to speak until things between you and your ex shapen up.

She doesn't have to know who you're seeing or where you're going or anything like that, so don't tell her
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mr-breaker
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#33
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#33
*Grunch*
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello, bear with me as this could take a while!

ok, I had been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year and a half, and all was going well. However, she has always had trust issues, especially with me and other girls, and accused me of going out and doing stuff with other girls every time i was out with my mates, which wan't true (er...except for once when we had been going out for two weeks and i pulled a girl in a club)

She has also been working a lot recently, and we hadn't seen as much of each other as we used to do, and when we did, she would complain of being tired, so we didn't go out together...basically, things weren't quite the same as they used to be. Add to that the fact she was very snappy and used to frequently tell me to **** off at the littlest of things; even her parents couldn't believe how she spoke to me, given that I always treated her nicely.

Putting all this together, we decided to go on a break for a week; not contact each other, no phone, no facebook etc. It went well enough, but deep down I didn't think she was happy with me...

So here's the complicated bit. On Saturday night, I met a girl and we got on really well, talked for ages and we ended up kissing and swapping numbers, which I know I shouldn't have done. then when I saw my girlfriend on Sunday, she looked through my phone when I fell asleep and saw the message this girl sent me and completely lost her temper. Eventually it died dowwn and we spoke like adults. We decided to break up, which I was upset about obviously, but I thought it was for the best in the long run, especially if we stay friends, as she still means the world to me.

Trouble is though, me and this other girl have been texting, and are likely to go out on a date pretty soon, and the question is, would I be right to go, especially as we met when me and my girlfriend were still together? Should I forget the fact I like this girl and ignore her because it's so soon since the break up? Also, if my ex found out, it would really upset her I'm sure, and I don't want to do that....

As you can see it's a bit complicated, and if you are still reading this you deserve a medal!

So any advice would be very much appreciated
tl;dr

Only joking!

I'm inclined to say nice hand sir; you and her are broken up. She had a point objecting to you having your bit of extra-curricular fun on the Saturday, but assuming this happened during this 'break', it's fair game. If the roles were reversed she would have flipped at you looking at her 'phone while trying to ignore her bigger misdemeanour......and what was she doing disrespecting you in front of her parents? Just for those salty moves, it's just like "Cop Land"..........

"She had her chance, and she blew it!"

In short, based on what you've told us.....no advice is needed. Don't put the other woman on hold.....take her for a coffee, see where it goes......

Good luck!
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bete noire
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#34
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#34
Mr Breaker knows his ****
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***amy***
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#35
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#35
so long as you definitely don't want to get back with your (now ex) girlfriend, this date doesn't seem like an issue. Just be honest with the new girl and tell her that you're just out of a relationship so maybe want to take it slow.
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Anonymous #1
#36
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#36
(Original post by ***amy***)
so long as you definitely don't want to get back with your (now ex) girlfriend, this date doesn't seem like an issue. Just be honest with the new girl and tell her that you're just out of a relationship so maybe want to take it slow.
I will do...rep on its way to you
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