The Student Room Group
Reply 1
Savage Noodles
Think im gonna talk about extra curricular stuff and experience now.. I know this is long winded at the moment, I will shorten.. need helpful comments/advice plz!

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Wandering through the vibrant, bustling streets of Manchester’s city centre I cannot help but look around and see what an amazing impact the ever-advancing world of graphic and architectural design has had upon the recently rejuvenated area.
Ever since I was a little girl I have travelled into the city with my father, who has recently retired from his post as senior lecturer at UMIST, and I have seen such amazing changes take place, which have boosted the city’s economy and status immensely. New, designer, chic outlets with their clever branding and bold window displays, the Urbis, and the world famous Cow Parade. These transformations gave me real inspiration, as to me; design is the only discipline that can have such major effect and influence over an entire society.

Throughout school life I have always been a strong student, very determined and academically minded, yet constantly striving for a way to vent my creativity. The A-Level in Graphics with Materials, which I am currently undertaking and thoroughly enjoying, has been perfect for this. 40% of each year is made up of a full Design project which encompasses the professional design life cycle from Research, through generation and development of ideas, to production and evaluation. This has given me a valuable insight into the design world, especially in the A2 project where I am currently working alongside a client who’s needs I must fulfil.
Biology and Maths have always been strong subjects of mine, and have allowed me to keep my passion for learning alive. I believe theory and variation is an important part of Graphic Design, and my more traditionally academic subjects have developed and strengthened good theory skills such as essay writing and problem solving.

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I like your first sentence, it's certainly attention grabbing. But I'd suggest cutting down on the adjectives a bit, you don't want to overdo it!

And don't mention that your dad was a senior lecturer - it sounds like you're bragging! You don't need to mention him at all, surely?

"Throughout school life I have always been a strong student, very determined and academically minded, yet constantly striving for a way to vent my creativity." I'd suggest putting in some evidence to support this - any prizes or competitions you've won?

I think you may be going into too much depth about your A2 - I doubt you need to mention the percentage for example. Perhaps elaborate on a particular aspect of the course that has interested you?
Reply 2
Great advice, ta :smile: I only put in about my dad as he knows some of the admissions tutors at the unis Im going for! Its totally cheesy, and Im defo gonna take it out :smile:


Edit: wow Im bad at typing on a sunday night...
Savage Noodles
Think im gonna talk about extra curricular stuff and experience now.. I know this is long winded at the moment, I will shorten.. need helpful comments/advice plz!

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Wandering through the vibrant, bustling streets of Manchester’s city centre I cannot help but look around and see what an amazing impact the ever-advancing world of graphic and architectural design has had upon the recently rejuvenated area.
Ever since I was a little girl I have travelled into the city with my father, who has recently retired from his post as senior lecturer at UMIST


'UMIST'--- try and say the whole words don't abbreviate or just type in numbers ..write them out
Reply 4
Taken that bit out now anyway :smile:

University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology was a bit of a line waster!!
Savage Noodles
Taken that bit out now anyway :smile:

University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology was a bit of a line waster!!





but u have to...because you cannot expect the admissions tutors to guess what it means!!
Reply 6
Edit: meh n/m
Reply 7
...GiNuWiNe...
but u have to...because you cannot expect the admissions tutors to guess what it means!!


wtf are you talking about? Get back to realising how you had to study medicine when aged 5 :rolleyes:
Reply 8
...GiNuWiNe...
but u have to...because you cannot expect the admissions tutors to guess what it means!!


if I submitted my PS with a reference to UMIST, and the admissions tutor didn't know what that meant, I'd rather not be going to that university
corey
wtf are you talking about? Get back to realising how you had to study medicine when aged 5 :rolleyes:



look u idiot. dnt act like a wiseguy..... cz ill come down ur ends and bomb ur house..faggot