Can a guy tell if you’re a virgin?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend are planning on having sex soon (not really planning but it’s heading that way and I’m now on the pill) only 1 problem - I told him I’m not a virgin.

It was when we first began seeing each-other and I didn’t want him to see me as frigid or weird for being 20 and a virgin.

My question is: can guys tell if you’re a virgin? My friends told me you don’t always bleed so it’s not a guarantee I will but apart from that is there any other way he’d be able to notice?

(PS: I know people will say ‘be honest’ but it’s too late for that now it’d be pretty embarrassing to say “oh by the way I acted like I’ve had sex with guys before but I’m actually a virgin”. So please just respond with answers to the question I do feel bad for not being 110% honest but I lied a while ago and it’s now obviously gotten out of hand to the point where I just have to go along with it)
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clareeey
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend are planning on having sex soon (not really planning but it’s heading that way and I’m now on the pill) only 1 problem - I told him I’m not a virgin.

It was when we first began seeing each-other and I didn’t want him to see me as frigid or weird for being 20 and a virgin.

My question is: can guys tell if you’re a virgin? My friends told me you don’t always bleed so it’s not a guarantee I will but apart from that is there any other way he’d be able to notice?

(PS: I know people will say ‘be honest’ but it’s too late for that now it’d be pretty embarrassing to say “oh by the way I acted like I’ve had sex with guys before but I’m actually a virgin”. So please just respond with answers to the question I do feel bad for not being 110% honest but I lied a while ago and it’s now obviously gotten out of hand to the point where I just have to go along with it)
Could you tell him something along the lines of you said you're not a virgin, because of things other than penetrative sex that you had done, but maybe in previous times they hadn't actually gone all the way in. Virginity is really what you want it to be

You won't necessarily bleed, but if you do and still don't want to tell him you haven't had sex you could put it down to not being sexually active in a while, so something to do with the pill and breakthrough bleeding or something.
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username3832246
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Yeah if the hymen breaks - but i think it repairs after a while
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SweetLeilani
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It’s true not everyone bleeds, but it’s almost definite that it will hurt a lot first time. Then again, for some it hurts the second and third time too (it just takes a while for you’re body to adjust).
Essentially, you should tell him despite the embarrassment. A good boyfriend will treat you better for it and maybe even laugh it off when you said you were too embarrassed to admit being a virgin. It’s certainly nothing to be afraid of!
Also don’t let this put you off sex. For everyone it is different, though for most people it will hurt when he first goes inside you, but it feels a lot better after you’re body adjusts
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sinfonietta
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No, he won't be able to tell.

But you really should be honest. A lot of people lie about having lost their virginity, but it's better to be upfront with the person you're dating. You can just say you were embarrassed when it came up before.
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Ice cream
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#6
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Yes I can tell honey because i'm the sexpert.
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BitMel
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tell him that your not a virgin because you have been penetrated a few times but it never led onto full out sex.
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username2393237
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Don't be embarrassed. If you don't feel comfortable enough to be honest, then maybe you shouldn't be having sex with him. He won't mind if he's worth anything at all. It'll probably be more enjoyable for you if he knows.
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anosmianAcrimony
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Like Sinfonietta said - just tell him and say you were embarrassed the first time around. If this is a person that you’re close enough to to consider getting into bed with, there should be no problem. It’s never too late to tell the truth.
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firkin
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Tell him the truth and why. Your first time should be special . he can be more gentle and give your body time to adjust.
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username3756768
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend are planning on having sex soon (not really planning but it’s heading that way and I’m now on the pill) only 1 problem - I told him I’m not a virgin.

It was when we first began seeing each-other and I didn’t want him to see me as frigid or weird for being 20 and a virgin.

My question is: can guys tell if you’re a virgin? My friends told me you don’t always bleed so it’s not a guarantee I will but apart from that is there any other way he’d be able to notice?

(PS: I know people will say ‘be honest’ but it’s too late for that now it’d be pretty embarrassing to say “oh by the way I acted like I’ve had sex with guys before but I’m actually a virgin”. So please just respond with answers to the question I do feel bad for not being 110% honest but I lied a while ago and it’s now obviously gotten out of hand to the point where I just have to go along with it)
Personally if my girlfriend told me I was her first time I would be happy!
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by SweetLeilani)
It’s true not everyone bleeds, but it’s almost definite that it will hurt a lot first time. Then again, for some it hurts the second and third time too (it just takes a while for you’re body to adjust).
Essentially, you should tell him despite the embarrassment. A good boyfriend will treat you better for it and maybe even laugh it off when you said you were too embarrassed to admit being a virgin. It’s certainly nothing to be afraid of!
Also don’t let this put you off sex. For everyone it is different, though for most people it will hurt when he first goes inside you, but it feels a lot better after you’re body adjusts
This is not necessarily true. With enough patience, gentleness, experimentation, and communication, it doesn’t have to hurt much the first time. Just do what feels good for everyone!
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Daniel00
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I'm sorry but if a guy can't tell the girl is a virgin then they're probably virgins themselves. You can clearly tell if a girl is a virgin from her behaviour there's obvious signs like they don't know what their doing or the expressions they make.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend are planning on having sex soon (not really planning but it’s heading that way and I’m now on the pill) only 1 problem - I told him I’m not a virgin.

It was when we first began seeing each-other and I didn’t want him to see me as frigid or weird for being 20 and a virgin.

My question is: can guys tell if you’re a virgin? My friends told me you don’t always bleed so it’s not a guarantee I will but apart from that is there any other way he’d be able to notice?

(PS: I know people will say ‘be honest’ but it’s too late for that now it’d be pretty embarrassing to say “oh by the way I acted like I’ve had sex with guys before but I’m actually a virgin”. So please just respond with answers to the question I do feel bad for not being 110% honest but I lied a while ago and it’s now obviously gotten out of hand to the point where I just have to go along with it)
Being 20 and virgin is admirable tbh. Everyone's so obsessed with having sex. It's better to be a virgin at 20 than to not be one at 12. This applies to boy and girls. But 21 is just sad.
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FloralHybrid
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(Original post by johnny.snow)
Yeah if the hymen breaks - but i think it repairs after a while
The hymen isn’t actually something to be “broken” - It’s a stretchy but isn’t (other than in some rare cases) something that can be broken!
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username3832246
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(Original post by FloralHybrid)
The hymen isn’t actually something to be “broken” - It’s a stretchy but isn’t (other than in some rare cases) something that can be broken!
OK chill out. I meant the bleeding bit.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by johnny.snow)
Yeah if the hymen breaks - but i think it repairs after a while
Not necessarily true. My hymen never broke when I had sex for the first time, or for the three years after that. From when you start puberty the hymen can be worn away by multiple things like exercise and movement. And no, it doesn't repair. Once it's worn away, it's pretty much gone.
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Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#18
(Original post by Daniel00)
I'm sorry but if a guy can't tell the girl is a virgin then they're probably virgins themselves. You can clearly tell if a girl is a virgin from her behaviour there's obvious signs like they don't know what their doing or the expressions they make.
Is it anything I can avoid doing? So he wouldn't be able to tell
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you everyone for the advice. Deep down I know I should tell him to be open but again I am way too embarrassed, thinking about telling him makes me feel shameful. I don't place importance on my first time anymore, I don't even want it to be special I just want it over and done with so I don't reach 21 next year as a virgin.
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agrew
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(Original post by Daniel00)
I'm sorry but if a guy can't tell the girl is a virgin then they're probably virgins themselves. You can clearly tell if a girl is a virgin from her behaviour there's obvious signs like they don't know what their doing or the expressions they make.
Basically this. Don't be a "log" in the bed, and you will be fine.
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