The Student Room Group

Not close with my family

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Hey, well I can relate to some of it (not the bit about fleas.. :tongue: ) - I'm in exactly the same position when it comes to my dysfunctional family. The only people I ever see are my parents, and I don't have much in common with them. After I moved away from home I started seeing them less and less to the point where it's maybe once or twice a year, so there's no kind of natural bond at all.

Relationships within my family started to break down when I was around 12-13 - a lot of tension and drama happened which I got fed up dealing with - by the time I left school I'd ended up detaching myself from the whole lot of them.

I don't think it's entirely unusual for this to happen, although it's unfortunate and it would be nice if family would get on with each other. I've got friends who have had similar family breakdowns so it happens. It's certainly not ideal, but you can't choose who your family are, but maybe it makes you appreciate other people around you a bit more?
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 2
Original post by winterscoming
Hey, well I can relate to some of it (not the bit about fleas.. :tongue: ) - I'm in exactly the same position when it comes to my dysfunctional family. The only people I ever see are my parents, and I don't have much in common with them. After I moved away from home I started seeing them less and less to the point where it's maybe once or twice a year, so there's no kind of natural bond at all.

Relationships within my family started to break down when I was around 12-13 - a lot of tension and drama happened which I got fed up dealing with - by the time I left school I'd ended up detaching myself from the whole lot of them.

I don't think it's entirely unusual for this to happen, although it's unfortunate and it would be nice if family would get on with each other. I've got friends who have had similar family breakdowns so it happens. It's certainly not ideal, but you can't choose who your family are, but maybe it makes you appreciate other people around you a bit more?


Ah okay, that’s interesting. Do you ever wish it was different?

And yeah, you’re right with the part about appreciating other people more. The situation is a shame but it is what it is I guess.
Original post by Anonymous
Ah okay, that’s interesting. Do you ever wish it was different?

And yeah, you’re right with the part about appreciating other people more. The situation is a shame but it is what it is I guess.


Sometimes I do, although to be honest a lot of it is a vague memory now, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't shaped who I am in some ways - I am generally less trusting of most people than I probably ought to be; I'm not very family-orientated, and I use friendship as the basis for my romantic relationships; somehow I just can't make a close romantic connection with somebody unless there's a solid base of friendship first - I suppose that's just more important to me than anything else.

But aside from that it wasn't the easiest thing to deal with growing up because everything seemed OK on the surface before I started secondary school - or at least, a lot of the tensions were hidden away. I think most people given the choice would prefer not to be caught up in the middle of family tensions and drama during their teenage years. With that said, it mostly just made me want to spend less time with them and more time with my friends. The overwhelming feeling that I have looking back at it now is one of complete apathy.

How about yourself? Does it matter to you? Do you think it has affected you growing up?
same, never been close with em :s-smilie: only my little siblings who i've practically raised, but now they're getting older and dont need me as much. You just gotta move on. Work, friends, and self love are good remedies for unresolved childhood and family problems.
OMg..... I can really relate, we had a flea infestation and gosh know one actually understands how horrible it is, the bites, the hoovering, it's exhausting. And my family is just a whole different level, we say we're close to outsiders but whenever we try and do things everything feels forced and unnatural, I hate it, I just find myself turning to God for help most the time and crying in prayer. What can you do i guess.
Reply 6
Original post by Volibear
Can relate completely. The only time my family gets together is for funerals and even then any resemblence of a 'family' coming together disappears once the service is over.


It’s a shame isn’t it.
Reply 7
Original post by winterscoming
Sometimes I do, although to be honest a lot of it is a vague memory now, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't shaped who I am in some ways - I am generally less trusting of most people than I probably ought to be; I'm not very family-orientated, and I use friendship as the basis for my romantic relationships; somehow I just can't make a close romantic connection with somebody unless there's a solid base of friendship first - I suppose that's just more important to me than anything else.

But aside from that it wasn't the easiest thing to deal with growing up because everything seemed OK on the surface before I started secondary school - or at least, a lot of the tensions were hidden away. I think most people given the choice would prefer not to be caught up in the middle of family tensions and drama during their teenage years. With that said, it mostly just made me want to spend less time with them and more time with my friends. The overwhelming feeling that I have looking back at it now is one of complete apathy.

How about yourself? Does it matter to you? Do you think it has affected you growing up?
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Reply 8
Original post by Bang Outta Order
same, never been close with em :s-smilie: only my little siblings who i've practically raised, but now they're getting older and dont need me as much. You just gotta move on. Work, friends, and self love are good remedies for unresolved childhood and family problems.

I agree; accepting the situation for what it is, is the only thing we can do.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
OMg..... I can really relate, we had a flea infestation and gosh know one actually understands how horrible it is, the bites, the hoovering, it's exhausting. And my family is just a whole different level, we say we're close to outsiders but whenever we try and do things everything feels forced and unnatural, I hate it, I just find myself turning to God for help most the time and crying in prayer. What can you do i guess.


Haha it’s nice that someone can relate to the flea problem. And at least you can pray; that must help a bit.
Original post by Volibear
Indeed. I make myself feel better by remembering my family still hasn't ended up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.


That’s one way of looking at it!

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