Boyfriend receives a 'gift' from his ex- What to do?

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CleverSquirrel
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
First of all, i do wanna say i trust him. We've been dating around 2 months

A few days ago he received a box of chocolates and a cute hand written letter from his ex of about a year ago. She sent it his address.
I was around his today and saw the letter.

The letter was her saying Happy Birthday and how she misses their old memories and was hoping they could get back together.

Now they havent spoken since the break up, from what i know anyway
and thats the first time shes contacted him.....

why would someone do that after a year? He doesnt know whether to respond or not and he asked me, and for obvious reasons i dont want him to be in contact with her, if her intentions are to get back with him, which was obvious from the letter.

He had written a note on his board saying 'Call X' x being her name, and when i asked him what/why he explained the story to me.....

note shes lives in Sheffield, and it was a LDR

i told him that shes in the past and obvs still has feelings for him, and he doesnt need to respond, and should leave his past in the past, since im his present??

was i right to do so?
1
The Old Vampire
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#2
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#2
I seriously think he may have feelings for her because if he didn't he wouldn't really acknowledge her at all yet he wanted to call her.

I would say dump him because hes clearly in love with somebody else.
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CleverSquirrel
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#3
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#3
(Original post by The Old Vampire)
I seriously think he may have feelings for her because if he didn't he wouldn't really acknowledge her at all yet he wanted to call her.

I would say dump him because hes clearly in love with somebody else.
idk he says hes fallen for me and is in love with me ? im hella confused

it was a relationship from a year ago and she cheated on him, he shows alot of hate towards her but he considered to call her?
0
Marshmello's Dad
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#4
Report 3 years ago
#4
No ex would do that unless they have contact somehow. Maybe they talked here and there. Otherwise, I imagine any girl feeling super anxious doing a thing like that plus why would she after a whole year. Seems fishy
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random_matt
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#5
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#5
Unlucky kiddo, he wants someone else.
2
The Old Vampire
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#6
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#6
(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
idk he says hes fallen for me and is in love with me ? im hella confused

it was a relationship from a year ago and she cheated on him, he shows alot of hate towards her but he considered to call her?
Its been 2 months - nobody falls in love in 2 months. True love takes years to build.

He still has feelings for her because theres a fine line between love and hate. He hates what she did but he still has feeling for the girl.
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gothai7
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#7
Report 3 years ago
#7
(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
First of all, i do wanna say i trust him. We've been dating around 2 months

A few days ago he received a box of chocolates and a cute hand written letter from his ex of about a year ago. She sent it his address.
I was around his today and saw the letter.

The letter was her saying Happy Birthday and how she misses their old memories and was hoping they could get back together.

Now they havent spoken since the break up, from what i know anyway
and thats the first time shes contacted him.....

why would someone do that after a year? He doesnt know whether to respond or not and he asked me, and for obvious reasons i dont want him to be in contact with her, if her intentions are to get back with him, which was obvious from the letter.

He had written a note on his board saying 'Call X' x being her name, and when i asked him what/why he explained the story to me.....

note shes lives in Sheffield, and it was a LDR

i told him that shes in the past and obvs still has feelings for him, and he doesnt need to respond, and should leave his past in the past, since im his present??

was i right to do so?
He could just be really mature and wants to talk things through with the other girl. You gotta trust him, and if he breaks your trust, then leave him. It doesnt have to be that he likes her over you
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The Old Vampire
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#8
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#8
(Original post by gothai7)
He could just be really mature and wants to talk things through with the other girl. You gotta trust him, and if he breaks your trust, then leave him. It doesnt have to be that he likes her over you
What would there be to discuss? He is supposed to be a boyfriend to OP yet hes gone behind her back with the intention of contacting his ex who by the way cheated on him. He clearly still has feelings for her and this isn't fair on OP.
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It's****ingWOODY
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#9
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#9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU5xxh5UX4U
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CleverSquirrel
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#10
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#10
(Original post by Allah is Fabolos)
Oh my god girl. You might be his side piece.

And he is playing you like an instrument!
i mean his whole family know about me, and im on his social media too
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TheAlchemistress
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#11
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#11
Everyone is saying he has feelings for his ex, but at least he didn’t cheat on OP. He went and told OP everything it wasn’t like he was going to do something behind her back. OP tell him to cut off ties with her.
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gothai7
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#12
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#12
(Original post by The Old Vampire)
What would there be to discuss? He is supposed to be a boyfriend to OP yet hes gone behind her back with the intention of contacting his ex who by the way cheated on him. He clearly still has feelings for her and this isn't fair on OP.
Maybe the fact that he has a girlfriend and wants the ex to move on? Idk could be a possibility. We always see the bad in people, maybe his intentions werent bad
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1582
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#13
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#13
If she sent him a physical note asking to get back together she might not know that he's in a new relationship. He could want to call her to politely reject her and let her know he's unavailable. It would be rude to simply ignore her after she made the effort to send him something.
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The Old Vampire
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#14
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#14
(Original post by TheAlchemistress)
Everyone is saying he has feelings for his ex, but at least he didn’t cheat on OP. He went and told OP everything it wasn’t like he was going to do something behind her back. OP tell him to cut off ties with her.
OP shouldn't have to tell him to cut ties off with his ex. He should love OP enough to never contact his ex girlfriend again.
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999tigger
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#15
Report 3 years ago
#15
(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
First of all, i do wanna say i trust him. We've been dating around 2 months

A few days ago he received a box of chocolates and a cute hand written letter from his ex of about a year ago. She sent it his address.
I was around his today and saw the letter.

The letter was her saying Happy Birthday and how she misses their old memories and was hoping they could get back together.

Now they havent spoken since the break up, from what i know anyway
and thats the first time shes contacted him.....

why would someone do that after a year? He doesnt know whether to respond or not and he asked me, and for obvious reasons i dont want him to be in contact with her, if her intentions are to get back with him, which was obvious from the letter.

He had written a note on his board saying 'Call X' x being her name, and when i asked him what/why he explained the story to me.....

note shes lives in Sheffield, and it was a LDR

i told him that shes in the past and obvs still has feelings for him, and he doesnt need to respond, and should leave his past in the past, since im his present??

was i right to do so?
You can tell him how you feel. Uncomfortable, but you trust him, then ask him whats a fair way to deal with it for the relationship. You can tell a lot about how he deals with it. If he isnt good or its disappointing then dump him imo.

If you are his gf he should be saying he can be friends, but he is in a relationship now, so its inappropriate she is asking to get back together as he is happy with you.

If he is a wimp and doesnt make it clear then is he worth keeping?
1
999tigger
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#16
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#16
The point is squirrel you have to get an idea of how you are going to deal with people and boys going forward.

You can make a big fuss and make him do thinks or give ultimatums. Dont talk to her. I'm your gf etc etc, but if your bf is worth anything

He will tell you.
He will understand how you feel.
He will have already pointed out he is with you and that it is inappropriate.

You shouldnt have to nag him.
You should trust him.

If he cant see the issues or doesnt tell you how hes dealt with it, then you should question whether he is worth the effort, so imo tell him without making drama and see what he does. You can also discuss the same if the situation changes and an ex starts saying the same to you.

Not worth drama
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monkeyman0121
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#17
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#17
Tell him to call her and end it properly. I mean if you do nothing that ex will probably still try to contact him.
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hezzlington
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#18
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#18
(Original post by 999tigger)
The point is squirrel you have to get an idea of how you are going to deal with people and boys going forward.

You can make a big fuss and make him do thinks or give ultimatums. Dont talk to her. I'm your gf etc etc, but if your bf is worth anything

He will tell you.
He will understand how you feel.
He will have already pointed out he is with you and that it is inappropriate.

You shouldnt have to nag him.
You should trust him.

If he cant see the issues or doesnt tell you how hes dealt with it, then you should question whether he is worth the effort, so imo tell him without making drama and see what he does. You can also discuss the same if the situation changes and an ex starts saying the same to you.

Not worth drama
there we go first decent response.
1
ANM775
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#19
Report 3 years ago
#19
consider she cheated, and is all the way in flippin sheffield .. he'd be a mug for going back to her tbh

i'd give him the benefit of the doubt for now and let him respond to tell her no.....
1
HoldThisL
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#20
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#20
(Original post by The Old Vampire)
I seriously think he may have feelings for her because if he didn't he wouldn't really acknowledge her at all yet he wanted to call her.

I would say dump him because hes clearly in love with somebody else.
How is it clear. Why is TSR so hard on guys. It was the ex that initiated and he didnt even do anything.
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