The Student Room Group

Bettering Yourself

I'm 18, live in the South West of England, I'm female.

I just want to become a better person, a nicer one, have less hate in me, more confidence, become happier, make friends and get into a good and happy relationship.

Me now? I ruin all of my relationships and friendships, no it's not always my fault but a lot of the time it is definitely me but I have met some nasty, negative and toxic people in my life and got mixed up with the wrong people and lost good people.

I've ruined my whole life, no GCSEs as I failed every single one and by that I got bad fail grades, I am in college doing level 1 functional skills English and maths but made no friends there or real friends in my last college while doing entry level 3. I have barely any work experience and struggle to get interviews now, I'm not the smartest person but been told my English is good, maths I struggle badly with but also I struggle with anxiety, depression and memory problems and previously low iron. I've been on and off with friends and not been a complete loner, I've been popular, didn't have a bad childhood other than a bit of bullying, I'm from a working class family but still had a lot given to Me, I always wish I was rich though. I don't speak to siblings much and have no contact with cousins and barely see grandparents. I only live for my pets now.

I've had some great weekends recently for my life to fall apart and lose those friends within hours after. I've gone from drinking, having a great time, being very sociable to nothing as I now have 0 friends or people to go out with. I'm speaking to a girl now but we haven't met up yet and I'm hoping we become great friends. I can be useless at making friends face to face as I have no confidence.

I've been called horrible, nasty and other things by people I fell our with recently and I think they are partly right but in no way are they nice people either but I think they might be right about me, I ruin everything without meaning too and it's next to impossible for me to be happy for long. I am very lonely atm. All I have worth living for is pets.

What do I do? I never used to be like this. I used to cyber bully so I probably deserve to be unhappy, Karma right? I wish I was nice and innocent and could say I've never bullied, it's almost like I have a darkness, I can be so nice and do horrible but I want to be nice 24/7, I want friends, relationship, job, car, holidays, apartment and to be happy.
Everyone has a dark side. You just have to open up and be yourself. Then true friends will start coming.
Original post by monkeyman0121
Everyone has a dark side. You just have to open up and be yourself. Then true friends will start coming.


I got called emotionless the other day just because I don't know any, then get called last for telling some guy the truth about himself, like I have no idea where good people are at these days, I'm there for people to have it thrown back at my face and accused of being a bad friend, I can't win.

Opening up is something I can't do because of all of this and telling people personal things for them to use it against me.
I'm a revert and I don't want to put my opinion onto you or influence yours, but what helped me through the darkest points of my life was finding Islam, I've found my inner because of my faith and I feel more me. Then after that, the rest was easy. I know there's alot of controversy around Islam but don't be fooled by what people make out to be a violent oppressing religion, to me my religion is beautiful, it's me. I hope you find a solution. Good luck.:smile:
Original post by MajorCatLover
I got called emotionless the other day just because I don't know any, then get called last for telling some guy the truth about himself, like I have no idea where good people are at these days, I'm there for people to have it thrown back at my face and accused of being a bad friend, I can't win.

Opening up is something I can't do because of all of this and telling people personal things for them to use it against me.


Anyone that uses yourself against you is not a friend and should just be totally ignored and removed from your life.
This sounds like meeee aaaahhhh

lol, fr though the fact that you know that you can be so much more than what you are right now and you can make something out of your life is such an incredibly positive thing and I want you to never ever lose that.

You can be better and you can do better and it all starts with believing in that simple truth.

It's great that you recognised that and I guess my advice would be to work on self improvement, watch self improvement youtube videos (sounds sad but they really do help), self reflect, think about why you're struggling and try to work through those issues. If you want I can recommend some good self improvement youtube channels for you to have a look at?

Pick up new hobbies, creating things can give you a sense of achievement and give yourself time to figure out what you want out of life, what kind of life do you want to live and stuff.

This probably seems really wishy washy but I hope it helps a little lol
As far as I'm concerned the fact that you've done bad things and been involved with nasty people in the past means very little if you want to better yourself and turn over a new leaf. You're as deserving and as worthy of a happier life as anyone, and you will find it.
Original post by purplepeacock
I'm a revert and I don't want to put my opinion onto you or influence yours, but what helped me through the darkest points of my life was finding Islam, I've found my inner because of my faith and I feel more me. Then after that, the rest was easy. I know there's alot of controversy around Islam but don't be fooled by what people make out to be a violent oppressing religion, to me my religion is beautiful, it's me. I hope you find a solution. Good luck.:smile:


Thank you. :smile:
Original post by monkeyman0121
Anyone that uses yourself against you is not a friend and should just be totally ignored and removed from your life.


They are cut out of my life for good now, it definitely made me happier too, I'm glad I haven't got them here with me now.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
As far as I'm concerned the fact that you've done bad things and been involved with nasty people in the past means very little if you want to better yourself and turn over a new leaf. You're as deserving and as worthy of a happier life as anyone, and you will find it.


Thank you :smile:
Original post by basicallyshrek
This sounds like meeee aaaahhhh

lol, fr though the fact that you know that you can be so much more than what you are right now and you can make something out of your life is such an incredibly positive thing and I want you to never ever lose that.

You can be better and you can do better and it all starts with believing in that simple truth.

It's great that you recognised that and I guess my advice would be to work on self improvement, watch self improvement youtube videos (sounds sad but they really do help), self reflect, think about why you're struggling and try to work through those issues. If you want I can recommend some good self improvement youtube channels for you to have a look at?

Pick up new hobbies, creating things can give you a sense of achievement and give yourself time to figure out what you want out of life, what kind of life do you want to live and stuff.

This probably seems really wishy washy but I hope it helps a little lol


No it sounds good and means a lot you're taking time to try to help, despite me being alone I'm starting to feel less lonely, I feel sad that I have no friends to go out with but I'm feeling like I'm not the only one and that there are good people like you in this world that make me not want to give up, keep doing what you're doing because you really do not seem like a bad person at all. X

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