I feel like my anxiety & depression will never go

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I've suffered from social anxiety pretty much all of my life, I struggled to make friends and even talk to people. I was bullied in school for being a mute. I was referred to a psychologist to be assessed with autism at the age of 15. The diagnosis was flawed in my opinion as I lied a lot when my mum was there, and a lot of the tasks were aimed at young children (I have a psychology degree so picked out the flaws based on my knowledge, thinking back to it). I've recently realised I really struggle with social interactions but more recently, dealing with emotions.

Anyways I always got by well enough with the help of beta blockers to control my physical symptoms. I have a decent, small group of friends and I live with my boyfriend of over 3.5 years. But during the past 6 months I've really struggled. My anxiety feels more psychological, I have an intense fear of throwing up/passing out which I've felt like during a few anxiety attacks. I struggle to leave the house, I think about the possibility of throwing up every single day (health anxiety?) and I worry so much. I'm too scared to get on a train, or visit somewhere new. It's awful because I'm being given really interesting opportunities within my field (like a trip to London to network with a big charity that's funding a project I'm working on), but the anxiety makes it so difficult.

I've recently started an NHS group therapy course lasting 6 weeks, which is a lecture style workshop that teaches you to become your own therapist. The techniques are useful but I don't feel like I can apply them to my situation.

My depression has also flared up so much lately. I've spent the past 2 weeks sleeping 10 hours a night (typical night's sleep for me), then having a 3 hour nap, and another 3 hour nap later on. At night I then struggle to get to sleep and feel really restless.

I'm not yet in full time work as I just finished my degree, but I feel like I just can't live a normal life like that. I feel like my poor mental health is really grounded in me. I know so much about mental health from my background, work etc. and feel like all the help out there just can't help me.
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hellohellothere
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Report 2 years ago
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if you feel the group therapy isnt working then try one-one therapy. i mean you have a psychology degree so im pretty sure you know the extent to which you can live your life. apply some stuff, seek help from people around you. baby steps are better than no steps at all
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MomLeslie
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Report 2 years ago
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I agree with helio, one on one therapy may be a better option for you right now since you'd be able to tailor it to your specific situation. There's also so many new meds available too that can help with anxiety. My son is on a beta blocker and it is not helping his anxiety so he went to an SSRI for that. There IS help out there for you - don't let your condition limit your opportunities without checking out what can help - you sound like you know what you want so go for it - with the help that is available!
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