I feel like my anxiety & depression will never goWatch
Anyways I always got by well enough with the help of beta blockers to control my physical symptoms. I have a decent, small group of friends and I live with my boyfriend of over 3.5 years. But during the past 6 months I've really struggled. My anxiety feels more psychological, I have an intense fear of throwing up/passing out which I've felt like during a few anxiety attacks. I struggle to leave the house, I think about the possibility of throwing up every single day (health anxiety?) and I worry so much. I'm too scared to get on a train, or visit somewhere new. It's awful because I'm being given really interesting opportunities within my field (like a trip to London to network with a big charity that's funding a project I'm working on), but the anxiety makes it so difficult.
I've recently started an NHS group therapy course lasting 6 weeks, which is a lecture style workshop that teaches you to become your own therapist. The techniques are useful but I don't feel like I can apply them to my situation.
My depression has also flared up so much lately. I've spent the past 2 weeks sleeping 10 hours a night (typical night's sleep for me), then having a 3 hour nap, and another 3 hour nap later on. At night I then struggle to get to sleep and feel really restless.
I'm not yet in full time work as I just finished my degree, but I feel like I just can't live a normal life like that. I feel like my poor mental health is really grounded in me. I know so much about mental health from my background, work etc. and feel like all the help out there just can't help me.